Me & Demi Moore

Good grief.  I don't really give a crap about Demi Moore, or her divorce from the young and restless Ashton, or her astonishingly skinny body, but I stumbled upon this quote on the Web today and I felt tremendously sad for her.

"What scares me is that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not lovable, that I'm not worthy of being loved. That there's something fundamentally wrong with me...and that I wasn't wanted here in the first place."

My dear, I (still) (sometimes) have a long way to go - and I'm certainly not rich or glamourous or famous - but I do know for sure, it starts with self-love.

Sweet Mango Armpit

Fragrance in body products have always annoyed and amused me.  While I don't always get unscented products, I do seek out the lightest, most natural fragrance for my hair, body, and laundry.  Recently, it seems like the scenting has gotten out of control - "Cherry Mischief" Clear Gel Deodorant by Secret (wow! - that's practically a porn flick) or "Va Va Vanilla" also by Secret. I really don't want my armpit smelling like a bakery.  It seems rather ridiculous.  But while I steer clear of such frou-frou scenting, at least they make some scent sense.

This morning, however, I was shaving in the shower with Skintimate Extra Moisturizing Shave Gel for Sensitive Skin.  I must have bought it on sale - it would not usually jump into my shopping cart from the shelf.  The lather was bright pink, and smelled sickly sweet like strawberry-mango cotton candy.  I looked down at the label to figure out what on earth I had purchased....

"Cashmere Rain" it said on the label.  What?!?!  Is that like a damp sweater or a muggy summer rainstorm?  Is it soft fuzzy raindrops?  Or wet velvet?  At any rate, it's the dumbest marketing I've ever seen in my entire life.  I can't believe no one caught that in the focus group.   Jeesh.

Sounding the TAMPON ALARM!

For several months now, I've been wondering where the hell are the o.b. tampons? At first I thought it was my local CVS stock-out....then the CVS near work ran out...I found some at Safeway a month or so later, so assumed there must not be a real problem....then, I dipped into a back-up supply so I was good for another little while....I was able to buy some Lil'ets on my trip to London, so saved for another month. Then, as my reserves dwindled, I systematically began to seek my dear o.b.'s out. None at three CVS stores, none at Safeway, none at Giant, nor Rite Aid. Something was clearly up.

I began to hatch conspiracy theories.  Maybe it's that younger women don't use them, and I'm just a dinosaur set in my old o.b. ways.  Maybe it's some anti-feminist thing (my sis calls o.b.'s "radical tampons" because your actually have to touch yourself to insert the applicator-free tampon).  Maybe the U.S. is getting more and more bizarre in it's "American-way" ways because o.b.'s applicator-free-type tampon is way more prevalent than in Europe.   Maybe Kotex pushed them out in its latest re-branding (have you seen those sleek new black boxes?).   And I recently began to freak out- I wasn't out of tampons yet,  but I really didn't want to buy those plastic-y things or those stiff cardboard ones.

Well, I'm not the only one, and I'm not out of my mind.  Through a quick Google search I learned that women all over the U.S are desperate to get their hands on o.b's - even bidding them up on Ebay $76 for three packs!  

Here are some real-life articles on the Tampon Emergency with headlines worthy of the National Enquirer.... and a total hoot! Women in Dismay Over o.b. Tampon Shortage, (CBS News); O.B. Tampon Brand Missing From NYC Stores, (Huffington Post); Women searching far and wide for o.b. tampons after they mysteriously disappear from store shelves (NY Daily News); The Case of the Missing o.b. Tampons, (NY Times). These articles quote o.b. distributor Johnson&Johnson as saying somewhat cryptically, there was a "supply interruption."

But there is hope. As of early February, the Jezebel blog reports "O.B. tampons Return to shelves" (There are 367 comments on that particular post!). And official o.b. tampon website reports:

February 3, 2011: To our valued customers: We are pleased to confirm that o.b.® tampons are increasingly in-stock at more stores nation-wide as well as through on-line retailers such as:Amazon.com, drugstore.com, soap.com.

Supply may continue to vary in your area, however retailers who have received product include:

Acme, Albertsons, CVS, Cub, Duane Reade, Fred Meyer, Giant Eagle, Giant Food Stores, HE Butt, Jewel-Osco, Kroger, Lucky, Meijer, Publix, Rite Aid, Safeway, Sav-a-Lot, Shaw's/Star Markets, Shoppers, Shoprite, Inc., Stop & Shop, Target, Walgreens, Wal-Mart, Wegman's and other regional retailers. 

Well, this may be so, but the shelf was bare at my Safeway tonight. I'm still not desperate yet. I've got until early March to find some before I totally panic.

Small chick eats nothing for lunch

I realize it's probably my hang-up, but I do get somewhat annoyed by petite women with weak voices who eat nothing for lunch.  Today at Starbucks, while I ordered a hot chocolate - for both the warmth and pleasure of it - I heard the woman next to me order in a polite squeak - a tall iced green tea, "unsweetened" she emphasized, and an oatmeal with soymilk, "no toppings" she added.  Not the worst lunch, and certainly health-conscious - but as I looked at her petite body, her perfect coif, her stylish, but not overly individualistic ensemble (Heaven Forbid!), and her flawlessly "natural" make-up, I wondered if and when she lets go and owns her footprint in the world.  Does this woman ever even have an orgasm?

It also reminds me of this old blogpost with an excellent quote from my  alter ego, Nigella!