Why I'm single...

Because I want to be.  Because it would take a a VERY special person to make it worth not being single.

Because I'm busy and full.  I love my work, and I work hard at it, it's demanding, and that's OK. I have friends and fun and family, and they all fill me up.

Because I'm a mom.  She gives me lots of meaning.  Not all meaning, of course.  I have little privacy.  And very little room to take care of me, which I do when I can, and that's always primordial and lovely.

Because I'm strong and independent.  I like being a free agent. I sometimes can't imagine the space to cultivate and tend a relationship. I've struggled with the idea of "reporting" and being accountable to someone else.

Because I focused on men for too long.  This seems ridiculous to me right now.  But ok, no beating myself up and no regrets. I'm on a journey. It's a beautiful one.

Because I'm ok with vulnerability, but not very good at it.

DC school metrics

Here's an interesting ranking of the DC's public and charter elementary, middle and high schools that looks at students achieving "advanced" scores in math and reading, rather than just "proficient." This study combined the percentage of students at each school who scored "advanced" on standardized tests.  The thinking behind this different analysis is twofold.  First, proficient just isn't good enough. But, more importantly -  because, of course, some kids at Lake Webegon will just have to be average - what are these schools doing right?

Of course - and unfortunately - poverty and privilege, have something to do with it.  So the ranking also includes the percentage in the school who are eligible for free and reduced lunch.  With this additional insight, it's not all that surprising that Janney Elementary and Key Elementary - with 0% eligible for free and reduced lunch - have very high performing students, with combined advanced math and reading scores around 80% or better.  Both schools are in tony Upper NW DC - or Upper Cupcake, as I sneeringly refer to it.  Both schools are about 70% lily white - though in the grand scheme of things, that is still pretty diverse for fanciness.

It seems that the more interesting success are in those highly ranked schools, with a signifigant percentage of kids eligible for free and reduced lunch - or poor kids.  I'm told by a reliable soucre that a school with  fewer than 40% poor kids is pretty much a middle class school.  So which schools did well against the odds - those schools that made the top 25 ranking for advanced reading and math scores and have 40%+ poor kids?  Here they are below - # is the rank; bold represents the combined percentage of students achieving advanced on math and reading standardized test; the plain font number is the percentage of poor kids; italics means it's a charter school.

#6.  Banneker High (magnet): 54, 776. 
#12 D.C. Prep Charter Middle: 77, 55
#13 Capital City Charter (elementary): 41, 49

#14 KIPP KEY (charter middle): 76, 47

#17 KIPP College Prep (charter high school): 83, 42

#18 Wilson High School: 42, 41

#19  Haynes Charter (3rd-8th): 69, 40

#20 Height Community Charter Butler (elementary): 100, 40

#21  Ellington School of Arts (high school): 42, 39

#22 Stuart-Hobson Middle: 40, 37

#24 KIPP WILL (charter middle): 82, 36

#25 Ross Elementary: 40, 36

What's one to make of all this?  Well, this education policy novice, metrics aficionado, involved parent of a DCPS second grader, and amateur blogger has a few observations to ponder further.  

First, charter schools are doing a decent job of educating poor kids.  Well, that and their engaged parents are smart enough to get them out of their failing neighborhood school, find a good charter, get them enrolled (often by winning the admission lottery), and get them there everyday.  Theese parents are also probably the same ones who check on homework and go to parent-teacher conferences, and place value on education.  This is one of the biggest criticisms of charter schools - it robs the failing schools of the good kids and parents that can lift the rest up.  See City Paper artcile "Has the Black Middle Class Given up on Neighborhood Schools."

Second, not much is happening in the way of decent elementary schools - public or charter.  Ok, maybe that's a bit unfair. There are plenty of good schools - elementary, middle, and high school - where there are dedicated (and tired) teachers, good students, and engaged parents who are scoring proficient on the tests.  This ranking focuses on high-performing "advanced" students.  Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water!

Third, only Banneker High is in the Top 10, and it's a magnet school.  Self selection is self-selection - of course, they'll do well.  But here we have a self-selection of poor kids who are high-performing, and the school is serving them well.  There is something important happening here.  Personally, I think that self-selection at the high school level - college prep, magnet schools - that start culling to make sure those students get what they need to prepare them for when they graduate as 18yo adults is just fine.  And full disclosure, I'm a product of such an inner-city, highly diverse, highly socially-economically integrated magnet school.

Fourth and fifth, and a few more observations...Standardized tests are't the greatest measurment tool of a good school.  They're also not always the best test of a student's learning and abilities.  But it's what we've got, and I'm a big believer that we have to measure something somehow - we just need to know the trade-offs we're making in that measurement.  Stuart-Hobson Middle School is my local middle school - doing fairly well, and serving good a diversity socioeconomic backgrounds.  I've got my eye on middle school for Dear Daughter - just four years away.  My own analysis and assessment will include these thoughts and many others. 

And finally, and completely unrelated, I was originally pointed to the Jay Matthews Washington Post article and school rankings through the fabulaous WaPo local politics blog "District of deBonis, " and I have a secret crush on its journalist bloggerMike deBonis :-).

Old Boyfriend Tour

Yesterday morning, I had to drive from someplace to somewhere on I-495 - the 10-lane ring road that surrounds Washington, DC and connects its first-tier suburbs. As I whizzed passed the exits - Takoma Park...Silver Spring...Kensington...Bethesda - at nearly 80 mph, I thought of the once-boyfriend who lived there.  Our good times and our endings flashed through my mind; some sour feelings, but mostly warm ones washed over me.

And then a nerdy, bad pun entered my head, and the Old Boyfriend Tour screeched to a halt with a groan..."Notches in my Beltway"

I [HEART] Nick Galifianakis

Nick Galifianakis is the marvelous, wry illustrator whose work accompanies Carolyn Hax's sage, sound advice everyday in the Washington Post.  He has just published a new book of cartoons, If You Loved Me You'd Think This Was Cute: Uncomfortably True Cartoons About You.

I'm not laughing at me, I'm laughing with me.... 

I [HEART] Mark Bittman (2)

The Minimalist is no more.  After thirteen years of weekly food columns in the NYTimes, Mark Bittman is retiring The Minimalist.  I'm sad.   It's like the end of an era.  The Minimalist was formative and transformative to my cooking, eating and media consumption life.  I mean for as long as I can remember I've turned to The Minimalist for easy - time, technique and ingredients - recipe inspirations. At first, I just sort of stumbled across the column every once in a while with newly discovered pleasure each time (these were the days before I knew that reading a cookbook by the pool for fun next to all those chicks reading People magazine made me sort of an odd duck). Later, I'd actively seek it out, and turn first  to The Minimalist in my freshly delivered copies of the Times.  Still later, I'd forage it out on the web.  I'd eat up his special editions "101 Simple Appetizers in 20 Minutes or Less" and "101 Simple Salads for the Season,"  - simply sensational with just a little of this, a little of that approach..  And these last few years, I've become hungrier and hungrier earlier and earlier for newest installments of The Minimalist videos on NY Times premium content - here's the whole video link catalog, 200 of them!  (I'm drooling on my keyboard).   And I've paid homage to him here in a previous post under the same name.  Perhaps you're still not sure who I'm talking about.  But if you've ever had No-Knead Bread, then you've eaten him, and loved it.

I devour Mark Bittman's other outlets. He is a Whole Man, not just The Minimalist.  I have his books such as How to Cook Everything and How to Cook Everything Vegetarian. I was a regular viewer of that PBS food show where Mark Bittman, Mario Batali traveled in a sporty convertible around Spain with Gwyneth Paltrow and some hot Spanish model-chick eating, drinking and cooking. (It was all a little annoying - unless, of course you're the one in the little yellow Benz, traveling around eating ceviche and rioja, washing it down with a glass of cava and a little dulce, and then heading back to the inn for a good shag, in which case it's not annoying at all, and hard to understand why the rest of the world isn't totally glued to your amazing adventure).

Bittman will continue to write for the Times - in a foodie capacity in the NYTimes Sunday magazine and in a regular blog.  He will also be writing in the Opinion section on the politics and politics of food - on topics such as fresh, local unprocessed foods, obesity and farming - hopefully using his insight and his influence for a new sustainable food movement.  (Amen).  This is a good thing.

I suppose I shouldn't be so sad that The Minimalist is gone, when indeed Mark Bittman is still very much around and thriving.  But it is sort of like the simple Minimalist found weekly in black and white newsprint, is now the Maxi-Multimedia Millionaire Magnate talking about simple cooking and traditional farm practices.  It's all good, just please don't read his blog on your iPad while trying to have a nice meal at home together.

Here's The Minimalist's twenty-five favorite recipe columns to remember him by.  Bon Appetit. And a lovely Minimalist Champagne Cocktail.  Cheers!

The Sartorialist. Like.

I'm a big fan of The Sartorialist blog by Scot Schuman.  This photographic blog is focused almost entirely on street style - pictures of people on the streets of New York, Paris, Milan, London, Seoul - who just look good.  Sometimes it's about the fashion, but more often it's their straight-up personal style.  The people are regular people - ok, beautiful regular people - just walking around the city minding their own business without a hair stylist, a make-up artist, or a studio, and The Sartorialist just captures their individual essence expressed just so in what they wear.

I'm especially drawn to the way he captures street style on the fly like this beautiful woman with her bike in Milan or this smiling woman with her checked coat walking across a square in Florence.  I'm completely enamored with these funky, casual threads in the NY winter chill.  And the shades of blue with Dansko clogs and warm woolen socks in Soho.  I love this older man whose individualistic style just seeps from his pores  - or is it eccentricity?  Either way, he totally owns it.  I also like this young scruffy handsome with his portrait collar.

Drying out - Day 17; 14 to go

The insights on not drinking remain small - not nearly as profound as I had imagined.

I continue to be tempted - really tempted - in certain situations with certain triggers. Like the time I went out for a really nice work dinner at Darlington House - the lovely Victorian rowhouse, our table next to the fireplace, and thoughtful fine food demanded a glass of fine wine; but also the long day at work that was continuing with this networking dinner meant I had to be 'ON' after 6pm, and would have been nicely smoothed out by a glass of vino.  Or the time I hung out with sis and family starting in the afternoon through easy supper, and wanted a cool beer to add to the casual family day, football in the background.  But once again, each time was pretty easily managed.

I feel clearer and more free - like my head is unclouded.  But there is no way, I drink near enough or often enough to be going through my regular life in an alcohol-induced fog, so I'm not sure I can attribute this clarity to not drinking.

Nonetheless, it does feel like my life is simpler - and that also means nicer - without alcohol...and without dating. And that scares and saddens me because I hope one day to have the pleasure of both a glass of good wine and a good man back in my life.

2010: Year in Review, Part 3 Dear Daughter and other Loved Ones

Dear Daughter Seriously, I sometimes think I think my wonderful, thoughtful, giving, deeply insightful, kind, innocent six year-old daughter doesn't deserves a mother as flawed as I am.  I am in awe of her miraculousness.  I'm not the most maternal of women.  I would not be mistaken for a martyr.  I do not have infinite patience, endless capacity (or even desire), to nurture, boundless energy, and constant cheer.  I savor and pursue my adult life, sometimes at her expense.  I'm far from a helicopter mom or even a doting one.  My fuse can be short; my attention divided.  I sometimes half-jokingly refer to my mothering as "benevolent neglect" - that I hope will foster independence, scrappiness, and a provide a good adult women role model.  Despite my "bad mom" persona, I do make sure she always knows she is loved, safe, and secure. So far, so good...knock wood.

Quite honestly - between you and me -

2010: Year in Review, Part 2 - Men, Love , Sex and Ex

Life's Big Buckets in 2010, part 2 of three - This part is a Biggie - bigger than it should be, I'd think.  But what is Life without  Love?

Men, Sex, and Love - Or some combination thereof...sometimes.  The biggest trial of all.  As usual.  My half-full glass and pragmatic romantic view prevails.  It was a good year.  There was progress, there were setbacks; but more progress than setbacks.

As we entered 2010, I was enjoying a romantic interlude with Hiking Viking.  We seemed to be navigating our complexities and individual needs, desires, and directions well.  We were even growing closer and more emotionally intimate with whispers of sweet nothings and love.  Perhaps this was the harbinger - we really didn't belong in that territory, as lovely as it was - because CRASH!- BANG! -BOOM! we had some deep uglies suddenly and immediately afterward.  Uglies that left me reeling and confused, though in hindsight, it was more likely a necessary course correction.  We managed a bit more in a gentle, kind, supportive friendship - two people who seemed to get each other...with benefits.  But nice, and even right, as this was, it was  not safe or comfortable territory for me.  I tried to feel my way around this zone...but CRASH! BANG!  BOOM! in one of these (perhaps misguided)  conversations, I encountered anger, blame, vitriol - hurling accusations and spewing resentment - and our friendship was mutually declared over.  I have never in my life declared a friendship over - I've grown apart (sometimes intentionally); I've created space;  I've lost time and priority in friendships that had mutually served its purpose.  But I have never actively severed a friendship.  It left me reeling and destabilized again.  Another area, as the year closes, where I have found myself destabilized and second-guessing myself, and my mojo shaken.  Enough bandwidth...onward and upward.

Vegitect is a big character in this year's screen play.  Springtime, and all is possible.  New, green design gigs and newfound legs underneath himself made him ripe for romance when we met.  Here is an awesome man....witty, sexy, creative, handsome, and international.  :-) We found ourselves and each other in shared a passion for creativity in its infinite forms, and in our individual resilience always manifesting from the core.  Our compatibility and chemistry was notable.  I sometimes long for the promise of April - venturing to Paris with friends, and getting sweet, funny international text messages on l'autobus and brilliant sketched postcards for my birthday. But I feared... no, I knew... that he was not ready for involvement, and I told him as much, while I carefully skirted emotional attachment. Hell, I was so fuckin' prescient, I even wrote into My Main Gal Hax about the issue on an online discussions in June, that was later published in the Washington Post in September.  And prescient indeed... timing and time is important.  And as time passed, the messiness and acrimony of his divorce became more apparent, and the reality of throwing his dreams, drive and financial stake into a start-up in a crap economy became all-consuming.  It was a shit-storm in which I could not get sucked into the vortex, nor toss the life ring from the edge.  I have had my own shit-storm, and as recently emergent, I can say that life's personal shit-storms are best weathered independently.  But here and now, Dear Vegitect, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wit; your bizarre and endearing sense of irony; for sitting on my porch on early summer evenings talking with a bottle of chilled Spanish Cava or with sparklers in hand; for your photos, sketches, and sexy texts; for a well-planned mystery picnic; for teaching me the secrets of a perfectly fragrant and delicious daal; for the flowers; and for your continued friendship.  XO.

And while a few other minor characters made cameo appearances as love interests - one in particular that was not to be - it was a most of all a year of love and learning. And my learning has essentially led me to believe that it is timing that is mostly determinant, and that it takes time to see if love will stick among the competing vicissitudes.  And for the moment, I'm taking a chosen break, but surely not forever.

Irony  This was the year that I learned that Dear ex-Husband re-married.  I learned it on Facebook.  Two years after the fact.  This may well be my most mortifying and humbling moment.  I was enraged!  Anger and fury that I rarely feel, let alone express...but I did both to the fullest.  It felt amazing. But I know the source of my anger is also my disappointment, my sense of betrayal, and my sadness.  He and his wife are now expecting a baby any week now. And Dear Daughter suffers at the hands of an evil stepmother - it is not a cliche; she is a character study of immaturity, insecurity and passive-aggression. And Dear ex-Husband continues to make bad decisions that only spiral him downward, and his charm cannot save him anymore.  And the only good thing to come out of all his 2010 shenanigans is that I am freed of the horrible guilt and self-flaggelation for our failed marriage that I inflicted upon myself daily .    Did I make mistakes?  Yes.  Will I do things differently with my next partner/husband from the insight I have gained into (un)healthy, (dys)functional love and partnership?  Indeed, I fervently hope so.   Do I share the responsibility for our failure?  I do.  But I no longer blame myself.  There is nothing I could have done differently to save our marriage - as much as I tried and wished.  His latest antics are only proof that he could not and did not show up.  Not for me, and sadly, these days I worry, not even for himself.  And with all his hooey, I'm clearly, markedly, definitively better off without him.

2010: Year in Review, Part 1 - Work and Wealth

Overall, I'd declare this year Good overall, but most notably a year of Improvement and Progress.  :-)  For once, "most improved"doesn't feel like a consolation prize, but a hard-won, much-cherished feat.  The series of tragedies and bad news of years past have ebbed.  It was a welcome reprieve, and interestingly I noticed and appreciated the absence of constant losses and unheavals.  How often do we notice and appreciate that "nothing bad is happening" and therefore I am grateful?  Of course, I am grateful for the many good fortunes in my life this past year, and humbled by the setbacks.  Rather than a chronological review, this year I will examine Life's Big Buckets, and how each one fared.  This is a blog post in three parts (and some parts are a work in progress, as I continue to edit bit by bit).

Work - My job is demanding and stressful. At times, it can totally suck the life out of me.  For the better part of this year however, it sustained me and fulfilled me.  My boss, our CEO, announced her planned departure for early 2011, and this had some wonderful outcomes.  It was a great relief to know that a huge stressing, anxiety-producer will be releasing its grip.  Also, perhaps her own knowledge of her transition took some burden off her as well, because our relationship eased and became more trusting and respectful (for the most part).  Also, my ego was boosted, as both several members of our board and our funders saw me as a viable candidate to take on her role....but I am both smart and sane, and announced I would not be applying.  It was terrific to have the best of all worlds - good enough to do it, smart enough not to!

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs...

I saw it coming.  As we walked and paused to admire some funky pumpkins, he leaned into me.  A few moments later, he touched my arm, and I (against my better judgment, but following the stage directions) let my fingers graze his elbow.   A pregnant pause.  "Here it comes," I thought.  His thin fish lips came toward me in a grotesque twisty pucker, and landed on my mouth which knew the drill and went into the pucker reflex.  It was short and tepid, kind of like kissing a frog.   I withdrew, smiled, and said, "Thank you for a lovely dinner.  I had a nice time."  "Hello, I must be going," my sub-conscious screamed with alarm.

A first (and last) kiss.  Sigh.  More adventures in dating...and yes, I did extract myself - as directly and kindly, as possible -  the following day.

From my sub-conscious

I had an erotic dream about one of my colleagues last night.

M is beardless and on the shorter-than-average side - so not my natural "type."  Nonetheless,  I find his dorkiness charming, his humor sharp, and his intellect impressive - indeed, qualities that are part-and-parcel of my natural type. In real life, I enjoy our rapport and all his endearing qualities have led to a closeness and chemistry between us (the boundaries of work and his marriage are fully respected!), and which occasionally leads to some involuntary fantasizing (on my part, at least) during management meetings.  We have been working particularly closely together recently, including a nice business dinner the other evening with a third party with delicious food and wine, and delightful conversation.   And last night, the whole thing played out in my sub-conscious...

I [HEART] my new iPhone!

I never thought a phone could make me so happy.  Seriously, after waiting for almost two years to indulge in an iPhone, my iPhone 4 arrived on Tuesday.  At first, I was scared - what if I was disappointed?  What if the hype was just hype?  It is very expensive after all.  But after the first day of tentatively getting to know each other, I've gone from having a crush from afar to full fledged love AND lust.

I was a tiny bit disappointed by the look of the upgrade. They say it's smaller and slimmer than the previous iPhone, but I find it's edges a bit hard, sharp, and well...edgy.  Its predecessor, the iPhone 3G, is smooth and rounded, like a river stone in your pocket (or purse), and I'd liked that zen sensibility.    But I am not that superficial, and nothing is perfect, so I have squinted my 40-ear old eyes a bit  for a more forgiving and softening focus, and you know what?,  it's really quite handsome.  In fact, so sexy that...

From my sub-conscious

Last night's dream involved a camping and barbecue party on a beach bluff with a summer cottage.  My dream boyfriend* was fishing for dinner from a nearby creek, and then prepared the whole fish beautifully with some seasoning for grilling, lovingly presenting it to me.  I smiled, touched by his generous efforts, but my softened heart also sunk for I knew something he did not know.  Amongst the many people in our group, my dream former boyfriend** was also there, and they were about to encounter each other.  We all did our best to act like nothing was up between or among any party in the love triangle, but everyone was extremely uncomfortable.

Alone, I skipped over some dunes to find a little beach cove, and saw a family of whales breaching in the open sea beyond. Later, I magically swam with two baby whales in the little intlet that opened out from our private beach. Back on the bluff, stars in the night sky, people had broken into small groups laughing and chatting in lowered voices  or lovers leaning one against the other whispering to each other and into the darkness.  I couldn't find dream boyfriend, and knew he had gone to heal himself.  Dream former boyfriend had left.  I felt both happy (content swimming and being outside on a beautiful evening, taking care of myself)  and horrible, because I knew I had contributed to hurt feelings and tension.  I knew, in fact, not only that dream former boyfriend would be there, but in fact, I had invited both men without sharing in advance what each was headed for.  The sub-conscious of my sub-conscious even knew that I had played the whole thing for my own ego, and to show each what he had or did not have.  I awoke from the dream feeling guilty, but aware, and knowing the way forward.

Later, I dozed again in the early hours of the morning, and fell back into the dream.  This time, I found dream boyfriend at his home, hurt and withdrawn.  I begged forgiveness, a genuine lump in my throat, tears in my eyes.  "I'm so sorry," I said, holding forth my arms for both comfort and forgiveness.  He hesitated, which I deserved, but then came towards me for which I was relieved and grateful, and knew I would not take for granted.  We kissed, and sighed.  I knew this is where I wanted to be.

* an amalgam of several men I've known and cared for
** no one I recognized

ETA - There were two parts of this dream that stood out for me.  First, the more obvious one of the relationship dynamics, my role in manipulating them, and the sincere realization, almost revelation, that that was not what I wanted to do.  The second very poignant element of the dream was the joy of being outside and keeping things in their most natural state - catching, seasoning and grilling fish, the bluff, the dunes, the screened in porch of a summer cottage, a light breeze, swimming alone in a small, private cove. Those things were especially vivid and salient, and brought me an almost extreme measure of contentment that very much carried throughout the dream.

I [HEART] Mark Bittman

Another one of my geek crushes is Mark Bittman - The Minimalist - food columnist for the Times.  He's smart, word-y, wry, witty.  I like his food philosophy - fresh, easy, local, simple.  He calls himself a "less-meatatarian."   I think MB is kinda handsome (way more handsome that my other NYTimes geek crush David Pogue, who I don't actually find that attractive,  but I'd still do his brain).

Here, MB does one of his simple, formulaic cooking primers, "101 Fast Recipes for Grilling," in which he takes some basics, prepares them simply, enhances with some complementary favor, and grills.  The glossy food porn is here.   And if you prefer to watch your food smut (and witness MB himself) here's the video where he grills a grilled cheese sandwich.

La Nouvelle Observatrice - Sports Section: USA vs. Ghana

USA played Ghana over the weekend for a disappointing 2-1 loss for our stars and stripes.  It was a great game, and I will give some of my novice observations here, albeit likely sub-consciously lifted from the commentator, and subtly influenced and validated by JS.

Ghana played a very tight game for a well-deserved win.  Our guys in the US are strong, solid, experienced players, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for their level of performance.  Maybe they "woulda, coulda" won the match, but admittedly not "shoulda" won because there were no horrific faulty calls, their one goal was a penalty kick, and Ghana played them strong.

First, our guys....I'm impressed with Feilhaber, who while not a starter was subbed in after the first half and really played hard and well.  He really showed up for the World Cup, and given more of a chance might have had an impressive performance. He had some good time with the ball and worked for the team.  Dempsey was also strong; and sports some very cute facial scruff.  Altidore has what it takes, and played well; Jozy Altidore is a good soccer name.  Bornstein was solid, but I sensed under-performing.  Edu and Buddle registered on my not-very- finely-tuned screen.  Donavan is a superstar.  Clearly, he is the celebrity of the team.  Most of that is deserved - he is amazing, he carries the day, he is a Soccer God.  But more importantly, it's nice to see his confident humility off the field.  I don't know much about him before, but it seems his arrogance has mellowed, and his maturity bloomed since the last World Cup in 2006.  He's good, he's really good, and he knows it - but he seems to recognize his own (and more broadly, one's own) fallibility, and that nothing, not even a winning streak fueled by innate talent cultivated with tough training, is a given.  I really hope things work out with his wife from whom he is currently separated, but perhaps reconciling (See Bianca).  Nice sportsman, Donavan!  And perhaps a nice soccer Love Story to boot - my kind of World Cup!

Now, Ghana...It's nice to see Africa with a strong showing on the home continent.  Africa, it seems, has an uphill battle, with just about everything.  Every win for Africa is all the more meaningful, because it is not only what Africa has achieved, but also what it has overcome.  It is a sweeter victory.  As mentioned, Ghana played a beautiful game. As a casual fan, I was impressed with their control of the ball and of the game, their tight, accurate passing and plays, and very nice technical skills.  It was interesting to hear from the commentator that Ghana has the youngest team playing in the World Cup, with an average age of 25.  To use a virility metaphor, this may be indeed the key to their success.  Team Ghana, it seems has the power, the explosiveness and the stamina of a young 25 year-old stud; yet despite their youth, surprisingly also has the discipline, control, patience, form, and self-possession of a more seasoned and skilled lover a few decades older.  That lovely balance is hard to find both on and off the soccer field.

Match.com

Here's another doozy...wonder why he's never been married?

1. He likes his women locked up (and probably knocked up)

To get started, I was not married, but grew up in a household with strong family values and believe that women and children must be protected.

2. He values long-term thinking, a broad location, and is not sure if hanging onesef is part of a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle

Marriage has always been interest, but unfortunately I have not found the right person as chemistry, and long-term thinking is very important. My interests - a broad location and living a healthy lifestyle, eating well, not smoking and hanged himself, to stay in good physical condition. 

3. His cave only sleeps one.

I am - an early riser and like to spend time in my cabin in the woods, hunting, archery and other outdoor activities. 

4. He's right about women being complicated, but even so, it seems he might find an ATM machine complicated, too.

I feel that women are very complicated, so my partner has to share her thoughts and feelings with me in a positive way, since open communication is the most important. 

5. Overlooking the omitted words "looking for," and just noting that seeking someone who is conscious is a good starting point.

I'm loyal woman with a big smile, who cares, happy, humorous, reliable, honest, conscious health and physically fit. 

6. What?!?!

Just as important, my partner should be proud of themselves and the environment itself is sufficient, not necessarily financially, but there may be a passion in life, which is only for her. 

7. Is he looking for a person or a thing?

Additionally, it should be adventurous, to enjoy the outdoors and nature as well as graceful at lunch and evening on the town. It should be comfortable with living country and is not afraid to offer his hand, but still would enjoy the culture of the city. 

 Ok, since I want to be a nice, kind person, and not feel so mean and judgmental, he gets bonus points for open-mindedness.  And I'd like to believe there's someone out there for everyone, so I hope he finds her.

While I have a stable understanding of what intrigue me about the woman, I am open to discovering a new and mutual interests.

La Nouvelle Observatrice - Sports Section

As noted, I'm not a huge sports fan, nor sports-knowledgeable.  I do enjoy watching the finals of most any sport.  I tend to root for the underdog (but not always) or my favorite city/country regardless of individual team/athlete skill, record, or other more pertinent facts.   For someone who really just doesn't much care, I can still get totally caught up in a nail biter.

I missed the men's final of the French Open (I love the way Roland Garros just rolls off the tongue).  But in an effort to demonstrate just how superficial I can be, here's what I liked about the match and it's winner, Rafael Nadal.  He's totally cute with that shaggy long hair.  He's hot and  sweaty.  He's Spanish (makes me think of my other favorite Spanish things - Madrid, tapas, and wine).  He played Robin Solderling from Sweden  -  another favorite place (makes me think of a great Midsommer holiday and enviable social policy). 

Not sure how I missed this watching this one.  There's always Wimbledon...coming up!

I have 'a thing' for David Pogue ;-)

Pogue's posts

And for what it's worth, I've been too crazy-busy to really blog.  Everything is either too far "past" to give it serious due and reflection (like the State of the Union, the state of non-profits, Haiti); or too fluid to make an actual acute observation (work, life, love).  And the current wacky work intensity is not likely to let up for the next few months, which will make it hard to make good on my commitment to "fix job."  Damn it!

Books 2010: Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon

This book – a collection of short essays - was amazing! I laughed out loud. At times, I read it aloud to others and to myself. I re-read passages and sentences just because I enjoyed and appreciated the thought and the prose so much, and wanted to savor each delicious word. Admittedly, I slowed down in this book towards the end – lost focus with my many distractions and less uninterrupted reading time to immerse myself. I got this book from the library, but it is definitely one I want to own, and re-read time and again, discovering its riches again and anew.

Chabon writes about manhood – a topic of which I am endlessly fascinated, as well as bewildered. However, as a thinking, thoughtful, smart man, he has endless insights on the topic that go beyond the typical observations of hormones, power, sex, machismo and masculinity. While retaining absolute masculinity - his love of baseball, his appreciation and drive for sex, his geekiness in his love for Dr. Who, his ability to compartmentalize ;-) - he is also insightful and sensitive observer.

[And I fear, I’m getting into stereotypes – but know, dear reader, that I am fully aware of our human and gendered complexities. I have wrestled with my own as a strong, intelligent, independent woman with not much interest in, in fact resistance to, girliness, maternal nirvana, and things frilly and frivolous. But somewhere along the way, I also embraced and accepted my femininity as good, and not diminishing, and my love of lipstick totally within the realm of acceptable].

Chabon explores his identity an experience as a man- as father, husband, and son. He chronicles his relationships with the people in his life, and the unique dynamic with a man they each provide – his wife (both current and ex), his eldest daughter, his younger sons, first father-in-law, his best friend, his brother. I have a greater appreciation for what each of these distinct relationship dynamics mean for a man.

He does all this with a light hand and a sense of humor (seriously, I rolled laughing), and writes from an accessible place of common experience and recognition. But he does not miss the mark on depth, wisdom, complexity, and nuance (among my favorite qualities in a book and in a person (MC is, unfortunately for me, happily married)). He employs rich prose, a wonderful vocabulary (mine is failing me right now), gorgeous metaphor, while also freely referring to “ass-sliding” when no other word could do any better justice.