Why I'm single...

Because I want to be.  Because it would take a a VERY special person to make it worth not being single.

Because I'm busy and full.  I love my work, and I work hard at it, it's demanding, and that's OK. I have friends and fun and family, and they all fill me up.

Because I'm a mom.  She gives me lots of meaning.  Not all meaning, of course.  I have little privacy.  And very little room to take care of me, which I do when I can, and that's always primordial and lovely.

Because I'm strong and independent.  I like being a free agent. I sometimes can't imagine the space to cultivate and tend a relationship. I've struggled with the idea of "reporting" and being accountable to someone else.

Because I focused on men for too long.  This seems ridiculous to me right now.  But ok, no beating myself up and no regrets. I'm on a journey. It's a beautiful one.

Because I'm ok with vulnerability, but not very good at it.

Cool! Life's lessons in data form

Yet another amazing interactive data graphic at the NYTimes.  This one is a measure of the frequency of key words within this season's commencement speeches.  I am, as usual, particularly enamored with the data presentation.  The list of colleges and universities (organized by private, public, and military) with the commencement speaker name, affiliation, and link to speech on YouTube runs along the left column.  Key word (and by extension themes) run across the top.  And the circle size represents frequency of word use. So much information, so clearly presented at once; it can be looked at as a whole ("world" ran across nearly every speech), or disassembled in its parts (Sheryl Sandberg, COO Facebook sure said "Facebook" a lot, but it was a popular refrain across the board).

The themes tell us something about our times - "world," "economy," "Facebook/Twitter" - but also reflect the grandiose and seemingly limitless horizon that "commencement" provides -"change," "service/responsibility," "joy/happiness,"  and "love/passion."

I think I would enjoy Jonathan Franzen's address about the importance of going beyond "Liking" a la Facebook, but to take a boldder, braver, more purposeful step of "loving" and embracing.  And I find it interesting that Bill Clinton, the world's statesman, told NYU's graduates, "You should strive to find happiness every day and not believe that it comes at the end of the journey." - a lesson he surely learned on a visit with the Dalai Lama.

And back to Sheryl Sandberg - a woman who has made more money than God paving our new roads of human interaction through social networks and digital media.  She wisely told the group of undergraduates at Barnard College, a women's college in New York City:

Women almost never make one decision to leave the work force. It doesn’t happen that way. They make small little decisions along the way that eventually lead them there. Maybe it’s the last year of med school when they say, “I’ll take a slightly less interesting specialty because I’m going to want more balance one day.” Maybe it’s the fifth year in a law firm when they say, “I’m not even sure I should go for partner, because I know I’m going to want kids eventually.” These women don’t even have relationships, and already they’re finding balance, balance for responsibilities they don’t yet have. And from that moment, they start quietly leaning back.

So, my heartfelt message to all of you is, and start thinking about this now, do not leave before you leave. Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.

Wise words, indeed! 

The Secret (a poem by Denise Levertov)

The Secret
by Denise Levertov
Two girls discover the secret of life in a sudden line of poetry. I who don't know the secret wrote the line. They told me (through a third person) they had found it but not what it was not even what line it was. No doubt by now, more than a week later, they have forgotten the secret, the line, the name of the poem. I love them for finding what I can't find, and for loving me for the line I wrote, and for forgetting it so that a thousand times, till death finds them, they may discover it again, in other lines in other happenings. And for wanting to know it, for assuming there is such a secret, yes, for that most of all.

Just in time...

Another cloud of volcanic ash hovering over northwestern Europe has closed Heathrow (again).  *So* grateful, I got out on Friday.  My life just can't afford anything unplanned right now. ;-)

Ha!  Is the universe laughing yet?  I'm well aware - more than ever, more than many, shall we say? - that everything in life is unexpected.  I just happened to escape this particular surprise.

Ladies' Lunch in 3 Acts (and one seduction)

Scene: La Plage restaurant
On La Corniche, in Beirut, overlooking the Mediterranean Sea

















Characters: Seven women
5 Lebanese, 1 Eritrean, 1 American; ages 24 to 75

















Act I: Eight+ mezze 
Hommos, moutabaal, fatoush, halloumi, kibbeh, and more

Act II: A giant platter of brochettes 
Lamb, chicken, kibbeh with french fries

Act III: Two extravagant desserts
Ice cream with cotton candy, and crushed pistachios

Our protagonist with hookah pipe

La femme fatale 
Amal (purple) kept winking at me

Postcard from Wisteria Lane

Having a blast with Bree, Edie, Gabby, Susan, and Lynette!  The kids grow up so fast - hard to believe!  Learned that Dear ex-Husband has been re-married for 2 years, and neglected to tell me.  Seems DxH did it before our divorce was final.  Found out through Facebook - what a small world!  Wish  you were here...
Xox, V