The 55% have spoken

A sea change is in the air. Yesterday, the shareholders of Citigroup voted against the proposed compensation packages of its top 5 execs.  While the vote is not binding, the 55% who were opposed sent a clear signal about outrageous outsized pay to these corporate cats.  The tents of Occupy Wall Street have been taken down, but the sentiment has rooted, and not just within a fringe-y radical element.  One of the nay voters represented a Philadelphia money management firm that lays claim to 5 million shares of Citigroup.  I'm pretty sure their rep was not camped out in Zuccotti Park. I can't help but wonder if there was some organzing around this vote.

It's about equity; it's about fairness (The Buffett Rule); it's about stakeholder (and shareholders) exercising their voice.  The pendulum is swinging - it's a long, and not altogether smooth arc.  And this is not a 4-year term, but rather a generational shift, and thus more like 20 years.  I'm recommending a veggie share in your local CSA (community-supported agriculture).  It's a different kind of dividend.   

The Poor Philanthropist

Today'sWaPo had a good Fact Checker blog post about Obama's charitable giving.  Apparently, at the recent Conservative PAC conference (excuse me...hairball), one pol full of hot air chastised Obama for giving less than 1% of his income to charity.  Fact Checker noted that Obama's giving was indeed rather low as a proportion of his income in 2002 through 2004 before he became a Senator, and took on running for President.  Back then, when his income hovered around mid-200K, he was giving 0.5% to 2% of income to charity.  In more recent years, with income over the $1m mark, his total giving and giving as a proportion of income increased dramatically - well above 9%. Factchecker takeaway: conservative pol mischaracterized Obama's giving, and was not accurate to date

My takeaway: At any wealth point, we must all be philanthropists. And by the way, isn't the idea of being a philanthropist so much more appealing and empowering than charitable giving?  Perhaps it's because I work in a non-profit that I see how much those donations matter.  However, more importantly,  I am a philanthropist because I place great value on many things that don't create a profit margin  - art, my reproductive freedom, high-quality news reporting, my kid's school experience, my spiritual home.  While these things cost money to create, protect, and provide, they don't readily lend themselves to free market pricing.  So I make it a point to not take any of them for granted, place some monetary value on these priceless things, and then give generously to them.

In my annual personal financial audit for 2011, I made good financial progress.  Last year's goal was stability, and I am more or less there.   Last year, that meant my financial housekeeping included virtually eliminating all debt; establishing legal and financial safeguards for Dear Daughter; and creating and enacting some spending controls.  This year's goal is maintaining that stability, and achieving better financial security. That will mean more of the same (I haven't mastered it all), plus socking more money away to create greater margin for error (well, life's financial vicissitudes).

All the while, I'm far from frugal, and sometimes I'm downright lavish even when my money house isn't fully in order.  I like nice clothes, pedicures, a good haircut, a regular vacation, and going out for a good time.  Sometimes I like all this when I should really be liking a college savings account, a brown bag lunch or a practical pair of snow boots.  (Boring.)

But I digress.  Even amidst managing my personal spending and my personal financial goals, I make sure to exercise my personal philanthropy.  Last year, I gave 2.5% of my income to charity (the average American gives 1.4%, making me above average, of course :-).  In my audit, I calculated that about half went to Dear Daughter's school and All Souls Church.  I gave another 30% to causes near and dear to my heart - reproductive rights and health services (NARAL and Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington), and donating to my line of work in global health and development.  The final 20% went to other organizations of personal importance or connection - like the finding a cure and remembering my late niece with the Brain Tumor Society; my morning listening pleasure with NPR; and supporting my younger cousin traveling to the national finals with the West Forsyth High School Equestrian Team.

In 2012, I hope to give just a little bit more.  My goal is 3% of income going to my philanthropy goals.  It will be a stretch; I believe it should be.  I could just as well spend this significant sum money on a nice vacation.  But then I wouldn't be putting my money behind all that matters to me.  Besides it would be horrible if we lost access to high-quality, comprehensive, women's healthcare or the community arts workshop closed its doors while I was sitting on the beach in Jamaica.

Hotel St. Regis, New York City

This week I had a work event at the Hotel St. Regis in New York.  This was the kind of event where super-wealthy (and super-generous, and super-committed - I do respect these guys) 1% bankers come to do good with their money.  It's not all bad -  despite my snarky edge. I'm psyched that they will give their time to hear a young woman activist from Pakistan talk about her organization - Aware Girls, founded when she was just 16 - that empowers the body, money, and voice of girls aged 12 to 29.  Go Gulali!  And if it inspires our uber-wealthy friends to open their minds and their wallets, while steak tartare with quail eggs is passed about, all the better.  I call that win-win - pass the prosecco!






But I captured this signage on the marble hallway wall:

<

Versailles

LouisXI

Library

>

Rambouillet

Matignon

Fontainebleau

Restrooms 

Coat Check

...and can't help but gag.  So pretentious. So contrived. So bizarre.  Are we in XVIIeme siecle France or 21st century New York?  Get a grip.  I love to get my fancy on. And you know I'm a francophile (the good parts). I enjoy my swank as much as the next girl, but this is not my kind of luxe.  Non merci. 

Everything's gonna be alright.

Sometimes the most difficult time being a mom is when saying everything is going to be ok, and there is nothing to worry about, when you're not so sure yourself.  The brave face, coupled with the whispered assurances, and the air of confidence - at times, it's all such a front.

So tonight, as I cuddled and coddled at bedtime, and quieted worries about strong winds and metro doors shutting a millisecond too soon, I was preoccupied with the scope and cost of some structural work that I will need to do on my house.  And not all that sure that the wind wouldn't in fact huff and puff and blow the house down.



  

(Practically) free to a good home

On Saturday, we held a yard sale.  It was a brisk, early spring morning - a bit too early spring for a yard sale, and a bit too early morning for me, but the urge to de-clutter Right Now cannot be denied, and no other free weekend presented itself anytime soon.  It wasn't about the money or the stuff.  It was mostly about getting the stuff out to people who will enjoy it for a while, and throwing in a little lesson for Dear Daughter about entrepreneurship and counting change.  The morning yielded a bit over $100, and a whole lot less stuff - the rest went to Good Will this morning.  Yard sales are a win-win.  I'm free of stuff and clutter. I feel so enterprising. And most of all, some nice new and people now have my treasures in their good homes.

There was the Early Bird mom who got here around 8:30.  From Utah, she and family are staying temporarily on Capitol Hill in a furnished, but lacking-in-character, home.  Presumably on a Mormon mission, she said she had kids of "varying ages."  The Early Bird did indeed get the worm...errrr...some of the best goods -  a kids dominoes set and a memory game, a clock puzzle, a doctor kit, and some books.

A young woman and her Spaniard boyfriend in his Real Madrid shirt purchased a set of four crisp white porcelain cups and saucers in which I imagine they will enjoy some  strong coffee on late weekend afternoons. A young Urban Greenster couple biked over - she sporting her "Stop Greed" pin on her tweed-y jacket - bought four russet-colored woven placemats, four cloth napkins in tones of green and brown, and an ecru-colored pottery serving bowl with a deep blue abstract bird design.  A gorgeous combination! -  wish I had thought of it myself -  and sure to be a hit at their next vegetarian potluck dinner party.

Two African-American women in their 50's came to admire my collections of African textiles - batik-ed table cloths, woven mats, brightly printed cloth, and gauzy scarves.  They bought almost all of it plus an ugly mint-green bathroom rug -  and since they came late in the morning, they filled several bags of such treasure for $10.

Another young couple arrived on their bikes.  He had a scraggly reddish beard and olive green jacket, and asked me about my Peace Corps days.  She told me she was of Vietnamese descent, and bought a children's book in English and Vietnamese about a frog and an umbrella - she said it was "for someday."  They are just at the beginning of their couplehood.  They also bought three African cookbooks - that frankly have a lot of repeat recipes, and from which I've cooked less than a handful of meals over two handfuls of years.  I hope those books get some cook-stained memories at last.

An older African-American man, his feet swollen from diabetes or hypertension, shuffled off with my swivel office chair that lost its back a few months ago.  While a white-haired white guy, bought my Africa tome - historical and political essays.  I asked for a dollar, but he gave me two.

A few other people bought a few other things, each one sauntering off with her find..."at such a good price." And I'm doing some sauntering myself - a little richer, a little less encumbered, and very pleased that some of my good stuff found good homes.

2010: Year in Review, Part 3 Dear Daughter and other Loved Ones

Dear Daughter Seriously, I sometimes think I think my wonderful, thoughtful, giving, deeply insightful, kind, innocent six year-old daughter doesn't deserves a mother as flawed as I am.  I am in awe of her miraculousness.  I'm not the most maternal of women.  I would not be mistaken for a martyr.  I do not have infinite patience, endless capacity (or even desire), to nurture, boundless energy, and constant cheer.  I savor and pursue my adult life, sometimes at her expense.  I'm far from a helicopter mom or even a doting one.  My fuse can be short; my attention divided.  I sometimes half-jokingly refer to my mothering as "benevolent neglect" - that I hope will foster independence, scrappiness, and a provide a good adult women role model.  Despite my "bad mom" persona, I do make sure she always knows she is loved, safe, and secure. So far, so good...knock wood.

Quite honestly - between you and me -

2010: Year in Review, Part 1 - Work and Wealth

Overall, I'd declare this year Good overall, but most notably a year of Improvement and Progress.  :-)  For once, "most improved"doesn't feel like a consolation prize, but a hard-won, much-cherished feat.  The series of tragedies and bad news of years past have ebbed.  It was a welcome reprieve, and interestingly I noticed and appreciated the absence of constant losses and unheavals.  How often do we notice and appreciate that "nothing bad is happening" and therefore I am grateful?  Of course, I am grateful for the many good fortunes in my life this past year, and humbled by the setbacks.  Rather than a chronological review, this year I will examine Life's Big Buckets, and how each one fared.  This is a blog post in three parts (and some parts are a work in progress, as I continue to edit bit by bit).

Work - My job is demanding and stressful. At times, it can totally suck the life out of me.  For the better part of this year however, it sustained me and fulfilled me.  My boss, our CEO, announced her planned departure for early 2011, and this had some wonderful outcomes.  It was a great relief to know that a huge stressing, anxiety-producer will be releasing its grip.  Also, perhaps her own knowledge of her transition took some burden off her as well, because our relationship eased and became more trusting and respectful (for the most part).  Also, my ego was boosted, as both several members of our board and our funders saw me as a viable candidate to take on her role....but I am both smart and sane, and announced I would not be applying.  It was terrific to have the best of all worlds - good enough to do it, smart enough not to!

Mommy Dearest

I'm tired and grumpy today after a night of little sleep.  I tossed and turned, and worried about the CEO search at work and how it will all affect me; the state of merger negotiations and if there's still hope; the irksome ambiguities of my dating screen; vacillating on whether I'm bullish or bearish on my retirement fund; concerned about my body and health deteriorating -  my metabolism screeching to a halt and my reading eyes going blind starting the day I hit 40.  Oh me, oh my...to just have certainty about the future.  I know, I know....HA!  At most, I can have comfort that it will all be OK - which I generally do, but last night it decided to take the slippery slope downward.

So I took my exhaustion and uncertainty out on my daughter this morning.  As she readied for school, excited about her day, we just - as mother and daughters do - pushed each others' buttons.  It started with excess conditioner in her hair, discovered only after she was fully dressed, and me trying to rinse/comb it out without her getting back into the shower.  Which led to a wet dress, and a wet floor, and wet towels, and painfully combing through tangles.  Which led to tears (hers) and impatience (mine) and whines (hers) and yelling (mine).  And drama, that included stomping (hers) and slammed doors (hers) and cursing (mine - aloud, but to myself, if it makes a wee bit of difference in your opinion of me, dear reader).  And more crying and yelling (hers and mine respectively).

And her cries and whines were amplified in my tired and impatient brain, reverberating like a huge train barreling through my bedroom or an airplane taking off on my roof.  Just unbearable head noise that I just desperately wanted to end right at that very second.   I can handle a conversation, maybe even a negotiation - but not this screaming dear animal child!  And if it also makes a wee difference, dear reader, at one point she is sobbing and crying to me, but looking at her reflection in the mirror.  Which led to me getting even more exasperated, because I am watching my 6-year old Drama Queen audition for her Little Orphan Annie role.  Which led to realizing - thank god - that my patience had run its course, and my temper was taking over.  Which led to a time out (mine...yes, mine).  

And when it was all over, and we were sitting there amidst wet towels late for school and work, there were hugs and apologies (mine and hers, but mostly mine).  And I feel like a horrible ogre.  And I feel guilty.  And I feel like the Worst Mom Ever.  And I am embarrassed and ashamed that I do not have more patience and calm in me, especially with my dear child, who is wonderful and still innocent, and tremendously unblemished.  And I'm still sad and upset that I am not a better mom and a better person.

Weekend List - Me, all me!

Carve jack o'lanterns  - Not our best this year
Roast pumpkin seeds - Yummy
Pay bills
File financial documents Q3  - Stabilized, hoping for solid by end of the year :-)
Do laundry
Put it away
Bake banana bread - Delish, with walnuts and chocolate chips
Swim 40 minutes
Buy apples and cider at farmer's market
Early Vote!
Shop for clothes/shoes  - Success!
Eat out Saturday night - My second lobster roll this week!
Laze around in bed, drinking coffee, reading paper - Indulgence
Short hike
Swim 30 minutes - Again!
Return boots, exchange shoes
Trick-or treat
Begin London packing/piling
Go grocery shopping  - Oh well, it's a short list for tomorrow, and we have milk for coffee
Make food for the troops for the days, I'm gone - Didn't happen

Phew, what a weekend...very productive, and I'm tired.  It's not always like this - but it sure was satisfying.

OMG. Hold me back...the iPhone 4 is here!

I like design.  I like tech.   I like sexy.  But for years now, despite the drool, I have not yet caved into buying an iPhone.  I suppose this is for a few reasons.

First, I'm not really an early adopter.  I like to follow what's going on, but I can be a bit of a skeptic, so I wait to see if the hype actually delivers.  I also like when those other early adopters pay the price and suffer the bugs while I wait it out.

Second, I'm too cheap.  I wouldn't describe myself as frugal.  I like stuff.  I like nice stuff.  I spend money, sometimes lots, sometimes too much.  I'm not typing this while lying on my mattress stuffed with $100's for my "rainy day fund."  Alas, not.  But I do feel a little better about myself when I resist the temptation, when I don't spend frivolously, when I delay my gratification, when I anticipate... when, at last,  I somehow make a calculation - both financial and psychological, and probably more psychological than financial - that I am finally ready to make the purchase.

And finally, I wait, and wait, and wait, and procrastinate.  First, for my stupid Verizon contract to end (October, then January for my second line).  Then, to see if Apple will open up its exclusive contract with AT&T (it did not).  Then, for the announcement that the iPhone 4 was being released (June), with the all important multitask features, and whatever other (smart) bells and whistles it boasts.

All that has come to pass, and the iPhone 4 is in stores tomorrow.  The reviews are excellent.  I completely [HEART] David Pogue, who loves the iPhone 4, and if he told me to drink the KoolAid, I totally would.  Here's a David Pogue NYTimes video review of iPhone vs Android phones - this is like delicious smut to me!

So my purchase is imminent, but not quite immediate.  I'm sort of waiting for my next paycheck (June 30) or the one after that (July 15).  And I kind of can't decide if I will buy before or after my Europe trip (July 14-19) so I can get used to a new phone and new apps and new plan....But in any case, I'm getting an iPhone, at last! and really, really, really soon...and I can't wait!

New Year's audit

Lists
It's always nice to start the year with my home affairs in order (even if it doesn't last too long).  Thus, the list for the first day of 2010 (yesterday) was something like this:

Undo Christmas  - (usually I wait until the weekend after New Year's or to get through Orthodox Xmas, if possible, but with the help available and the time on my hands, Christmas was undone by noon on New Year's Day :-) / :-(
Write thank you notes
...find addresses and mail them
Pay bills, settle year-end accounts

Assist with air ticket fiasco, so I could sweep ex out of house (bittersweet)

Stock fridge with fresh, healthy food
Do laundry
... and put it away (have since generated more)
Set up laptop computer wi-fi!  - (Hurray!)
Buy flowers to cheer up quiet, emptier house (and cheer up G who has had sad eyes since her dad left this morning)

Tax rant (not what you might expect of a tax rant)

I really don't have a problem with taxes, and I don't really understand what all the fuss is about.  Recently I've been thinking about what I pay and what I get, and I'm sure I must be net positive on my quality of life return.  So here's the analysis for demonstration's sake  - rough and oversimplified, that digresses on a number of topics, and ends up an absolute rant.  I really hope I have a teabagger
reader.  :-)