Thursday, September 30, 2010

"It Gets Better"...Bullying, hate, privacy, the Internet and hope in the 21st Century

I am utterly sickened by the news that a 18yo, freshman college student and musician, Tyler Clementi, took his own life by jumping off the George Washington bridge after his idiot roommate webcammed and webcast his intimate encounters with another man.  It seems that roommate, Dharun Ravi, and another classmate, Molly Wei, got their kicks from capturing, streaming, and broadcasting Clementi's personal, private, sexual life without permission.  And Clementi, ultimately decided that the mortification was too much too handle, and well, jumped...

Ravi and Wei's thoughtless act clearly illustrates blatant bullying, extreme homophobia, and a tremendous violation of privacy rights.  Many want to prosecute their act as a hate crime - and while I realize this is likely a strong interpretation of the laws - I can't help but believe their utter disregard for another being's dignity led to his suicide.  And yes, they should be fully prosecuted, punished, and suffer long and hard for their heinous behaviors. Some say they are young, and naive...but at what time, if ever, are young people accountable for basic respect and civility of other human beings?  They are of age, after all.

I suppose I'm equally troubled by the technology of webcam's remote surveillance and  the World. Wide.Web. streaming that allows this to happen so easily; the erosion of privacy in today's society (I, too have given over my privacy in this social networked world; though I have profound respect for the right to privacy, and the critical ability of one to have agency over one's own privacy); and the magnitude of web posting in perpetuity.  This is the profoundly evil side of of the advancements of social networks and digital technology.

Ironically, this suicide happened on the second day of Rutgers University campaign "Project Civility" which would "involve panel discussions, lectures, workshops and other events to raise awareness about the importance of respect, compassion and courtesy in everyday interactions.  Events scheduled for this fall include a workshop for students and administrators on residential life on campus and a panel discussion titled 'Uncivil Gadgets? Changing Technologies and Civil Behavior.'"

Sadly, this bigoted, technology-enabled behavior is not limited to young college students.  It is also  an affliction of our public servants.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Michelle Rhee - Rant and Rave (my 25 cents)

Alas, my mayoral candidate, Adrain Fenty, did not win the primary last week, so it is looking more and more likely that his hand-picked, school reform champion and My Hero, Michelle Rhee, will not remain the Chancellor of the District of Columbia Public Schools.  At least that what it looks like here after Rhee and likely mayor-elect Vince Gray met yesterday. (Photo cribbed from the Internet)

As a mom to a child in the DC public schools, I'm pretty discouraged.  Rhee has been a reformer in the true sense of the word, bringing in sweeping and widespread change.  And while I'm usually not much of a radical - I believe that change is generally incremental and requires process - when the situation is as dire as it was when she arrived on the scene, there is no other choice in the matter than to be monomaniacal (City Paper's word - but I love it - check out their other endorsements for the primary, a total hoot!). Seriously, DCPS was an utterly failing system - poor performance, ineffective teachers, crumbling infrastructure, and a systems failure on everything from the timely delivery of textbooks to the opening of schools on time.  And yet somehow, in America, in Washington, DC (our Nation's Capital) that had become good enough.  Good enough for public school, good enough for urban schools, good enough for poor people, good enough for blacks.  Sorry, but that status quo is just plain unacceptable.  

Rhee didn't have the time nor the charge to fix things with finesse and pretty dancing - she needed to make tough, hardcore decisions - and frankly she had results to show for it.  Enrollment stabilized and went up for the first time in years.  Test performance improved.  Infrastructure improvement and schools modernization was plain staggering.  And she took a stand against ineffective teachers - she fired them!  hundreds of them! at a time!  Ouch, ok, that's harsh, and hard, and it did not win her many fans...except people like me who sort of sat there stunned, thinking, "Wow, she's brave...and I'm scared shitless of her."

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Woohoo! Capital BikeShare, Washington, DC

It's finally here!  Capital BikeShare launched in DC on Monday!  This officially makes DC one of the coolest (and underrated) cities in the US.  It's not Seattle (coffee city), Portland (alt-hip city), San Francisco (gorgeous, hilly city), Boston (university city), New York (city of all cities)...but it is doing pretty well, and damn it, no one knows!

Capital BikeShare is one of the largest bike share programs in the country, and the only regional one (serving both DC and Arlington, Virginia).  It has 1100 bikes and 110 bike stations, spread across all 8 wards of the District, and into Crystal City, VA.  Fantastic!  If you're not familiar with Capital BikeShare, then perhaps you know Velib (Paris), Bixi (Montreal), Bici (Barcelona), and Barclay's Cycle Hire (London).  And if you don't know those, then think of Zipcar, only for bikes.

Essentially a fleet of bikes is available for member (or day) hire anytime and anywhere.  The system encourages short rides to keep the bikes in circulation - so for members (or day users), the first 30 minutes is free, with low, but increasing, fees for 30+ minutes.  I paid $50 for a year membership, and expect to take full advantage of the network of bike stations near my home, work and social hubs (Dupont, H Street NE, and Capitol Hill).

I took my first ride yesterday - from my doctor's appointment (using the nearest bike station at Dupont & Massachusetts NW) to my work (using the station at 14 & Rhode Island NW).  So, how'd it go? In a single word, GREAT!  In a few more words...

Top 10 Reasons I Haven't Blogged Lately...

  1. I've been busy writing strategy memos for work - about 1-2 per week - and it's sucking up all my writing bandwidth.
  2. I'm tired in the evening, making me incoherent and inarticulate.
  3. I'm not particularly inspired these days.
  4. When I am inspired, it's at the wrong time, and I lose the occasion to blog.
  5. I'm confused - not all in a bad way - and so my thoughts are coming out all jumbled. 
  6. My blog has lost some of its anonymity, so to protect the innocent....
  7. My own version of ADD is acting up...I am easily distracted these days.
  8. I'm busy -  booked with some obligation or other from 6:45 in the morning to 9:00 in the evening.
  9. The few waking hours not booked, are reserved for chilling and doing nothing, so my poor brain can get a break.
  10. I'm not really sure where this blog is going.
Sigh...oh well...in general, this is an immensely therapeutic and creative outlet for me, so hope to get back soon!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Sex Bomb, Mom, and Senior Strategist

Work has been intense lately.  A good intense, I guess, as I'm working on stuff that really excites me.  But also draining.  I have very little energy left each day to write or laugh.  Or do other things that make me a healthy, happy me.  On days like this, I long for simplicity.  I long for an end to the requests and demands.  A day of quiet.  A day of solitude.  A day without worries.

I took a swim this morning, as part of the Sanity Plan.  I've had so little time for this critical activity that keeps my stress down, my thoughts worked through and put away.  It worked.  I left for work this morning with energy and sass.  I bounded up escalator steps.  What?!?!  Bounded?!?  Up??!?! The escalator?  To go to work?

My energy lasted until around noon, and then the day wore me down in the way it has these last few weeks.  By the end of the day, I was frayed.  Tightly wound.  Completely wrung-out.

And now, I'm still frayed.  And tired.  And not just physically tired.  Or mentally tired.  But tired of this stupid treadmill.  Burned out from the slog.  Tired, perhaps, of being all things to all people.  Sex Bomb, Mom & Senior Strategist.  Tired of taking care of everyone.  I try to take care of myself - and sometimes I succeed, but lately, it's been hard (Bummer, for real.  I was getting so good at it!)

And sometimes, I want someone else to take care of it all.  Or at least just share the load.  And every once in a while take care of me...."Honey, what do you need?"  Or better yet, "I did this for you."  And I want to cry (like I am now) and lean in, lean against him and just sob for a few minutes.  "I'm tired," I'd say.  "It's not that easy."

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

(Not your usual) Vacation Photo Album - Jersey Shore edition

As we do every year, dear daughter and I headed to the New Jersey Shore to spend a week with Grandma and Grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins.  This album includes some of my favorite shots, and while not exactly the family photo album and vacation postcards,  it somehow tells a story about my life.



Sometimes I wonder who is that person driving that car with the adult and kiddie bikes strapped on the back.  Loaded down with luggage & groceries, sand toys & beach chairs.  Going to the beach with the masses on I-95 for that one week vacation in August - the middle class American family rite of passage.  I have an out-of-body experience when I see this picture - it's me, but it's not me, too.

Wawa!  It's a Philly thing.  An annual pit stop.  Italian hoagies (with oil & vinegar - never mayo - on an Amoroso roll), Herr's chips, TastyKake Butterscotch Krimpets.  Ice-cold Lemonade-Iced Tea.  Vacation has started.

Contemplating the "thin black line" of the horizon.  Plastics: Made in China.



And from those dark swells, a sea monster emerged.
Boardwalk Rides - more summer traditions.  I love the pop of the colors here, and more so, the adolescent boys, caught unaware - aloof & chillin'.

This is my favorite ride. I still love swings at the playground.  This ride turns swinging into flying.  Sheer joy.


I love the dock, behind the house where we stay, at all times of day, in all kinds of weather.
This year, Dear Daughter, aka The World's Newest Swimmer, summoned the courage to jump off the dock. 


Arts:  Crayola Day-Glo paint and black Sharpie marker on seashell.

Business: Entrepreneurial daughter sets up alternative to the lemonade stand, selling painted seashells to passers-by.

Philanthropy:  All proceeds are donated to a charitable cause (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia).

Another gorgeous dinner at sunset on the back porch.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Blech...

I feel like crap.  Sometimes this happens to me.  It can happen at anytime, but it often happens as August, and more so late August, hits.  I think the lack of structure and routines get to me, too.  Dear Daughter is out of school, and we're trying to fill her days.  And work does not let up.  For all my talk of lemonade, ice cream, carefree days at the beach, baseball games, grilling, and gin & tonics - it does not overcome the heat, humidity, the unannounced storms (and floods), the bugs (and the bug bites), the sweat, the sun damage to my protesting fair skin, and the general malaise I get as summer drags on and on and on.  And on.  So by this time of year, I'm just over it.  Done.  Thank you very much.

Maybe I'd like summer more if I spent a long stretch in a cabin, on a lake, sitting on the porch, reading, writing, cooking, going for a swim - two, three, four times a day...to the floating dock about 100 meters offshore.   And skinny dipping at night, floating on my back looking at the sea of stars above, picking out a constellation or two.  

I had a summer like that.   Two summers, in fact - on Lake Spitfire in the Adirondacks.  Skinny dippin', constellation pickin',  floatin' dock and all.  I was a teenager - sixteen and seventeen years old, joining a family I used to babysit for.    My teenage boyfriend and I wrote long love missives to each other lamenting the weeks apart, and making heated plans for a torrid reunion in the fall..  The memories are vivid - over twenty years later.  There was no access by car - only boat, and I had access to the Boston Whaler to get from our cabins to the main dock through the channel over to Upper St. Regis.  I suppose there were bugs there - but I don't remember them.  I do know as summer went on, it was cool enough to light a fire in the fireplace at night.  And on my late summer swims, I nearly froze my ass off - but skinny-dipped anyway - shivering - because I knew that summer nights were drawing to a close.   I love swimming, and I love skinny dipping even more (and just wish there were more real opportunities to do so).

I think these were the best summers of my life.  Or at least when I want to conjure up an image of peace, tranquillity, contentment  - my perfect place - I think of there and then, or even There and Now.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

August in Paris

Apparently, I'm trying to emulate the French by taking off the month of August.  Dog Days of August as we say here.  In any case, I'm not writing much lately.  Be back soon!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Sunday Summer Lunch

Today, my Francophone friends came over for a lovely Sunday afternoon visit during their Stateside vacation.  They moved back abroad from DC two years ago, and I miss them dearly.  But we picked up immediately with good food and conversation, and the three girls played wonderfully together, so the adults could have our talks and laughs.

The composed Salade Nicoise was both delicious and beautiful - with it's summertime tomatoes and green beans from the Farmer's Market; new potatoes with a snappy dijon vinaigrette and chives from my herb garden, tuna mixed with a bit of olive oil, salt, and parsley - also from the garden- and briny black and green olives.  I had picked up a good multigrain bread at the bakery - seeds and raisins - spread with sweet cream butter.  Wonderful.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

A few of my favorite things...Now, found together!

I love metrics.  I love blogging.  Now Blogger.com is letting me have the two together!  Blogger has now provided a "Stats" tab on my "Dashboard" to see my "views" and "hits" metrics.  I have resisted the temptation to install third party software on my blog to see what kind of traffic I have (if any - I *never* assume).  Now, I can get a little insight on my stats by day, week, month, and alltime...and it's really cool!

While there is lots I don't know from these stats (don't worry lurkers and followers, I can't see you), here are some of the things I do know....

Street Style: H Street NE

Kickin' on H Street NE!  Some fab street style sense (for all ages and stages).

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Tabletop


I [HEART] Carolyn Hax (on casual dating)

Carolyn Hax is so wise....I really enjoyed this particular column because of the way the writer expressed his feelings about his girlfriend (fair enough, and quite clear); the way Hax talked about how to navigate that line and the premise it's built upon; and because I'm casually dating (or trying to anyway).

Some excerpts are below....and the full link to the column ("He's not that into her; how clear should he make that?") is here.
Dear Carolyn:  I am having fun with my girlfriend but am well aware she's not marriage material for me. She says she is fine with dating casually for now. I know girls sometimes say this and don't mean it, so what's my responsibility here? To keep reminding her that it's not headed anywhere? That seems like such a buzzkill.  Anonymous
Why is she good enough to date but not good enough to marry?  Carolyn:
She's just . . .

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I [HEART] my new iPhone!

I never thought a phone could make me so happy.  Seriously, after waiting for almost two years to indulge in an iPhone, my iPhone 4 arrived on Tuesday.  At first, I was scared - what if I was disappointed?  What if the hype was just hype?  It is very expensive after all.  But after the first day of tentatively getting to know each other, I've gone from having a crush from afar to full fledged love AND lust.

I was a tiny bit disappointed by the look of the upgrade. They say it's smaller and slimmer than the previous iPhone, but I find it's edges a bit hard, sharp, and well...edgy.  Its predecessor, the iPhone 3G, is smooth and rounded, like a river stone in your pocket (or purse), and I'd liked that zen sensibility.    But I am not that superficial, and nothing is perfect, so I have squinted my 40-ear old eyes a bit  for a more forgiving and softening focus, and you know what?,  it's really quite handsome.  In fact, so sexy that...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Capital BikeShare

Woohoo!  Lots of proposed Capital BikeShare stations near my house and on my routes....near my metro station, G's school, EMarket, bars on 8th Street and H Street, Frager's hardware, Lincoln Park, Nationals Park, and supermarket.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Ground-breaking gamechanger for women's health

At the International AIDS Conference in Vienna promising results were shared from a clinical trial of a microbicide to be used by women for HIV prevention.  This is great news indeed.  Since the beginning of the epidemic, one of the frustrating things has been that a woman has no way to protect herself from HIV infection without depending on her partner in some way.  All three methods of HIV prevention require some degree of cooperation from her guy:
  • condom use - ultimately it's his call; 
  • mutual monogamy between two HIV-negative partners  - again, she can be as monogamous as she wants, but it won't necessarily protect her if he is not - and vice versa, of course, though sadly the monogamy deck is stacked against her in many cultures and countries where there is high HIV prevalence; and 
  • abstinence  - well, we all know how that goes! - not only is it exceedingly challenging between two people with any sort of chemistry and hormones, it's really a non-starter for many woman (and of course, in the case of rape, coerced and otherwise involuntary sex).  In places like Africa, where HIV prevalence is high, partner communication is low, and pressure for married couples to make babies is strong, the notion of refusing sex or insisting on condom use, even if she perhaps suspects he may be infected or at risk, in a marriage setting just won't fly
So where does that leave a woman in Johannesburg where HIV infection is 18% (or anywhere else for that matter)?  Up the creek without a paddle in terms of taking control of her health and life, with any sort of viable option to protect herself from HIV infection.  An effective microbicide could change that.

Clinical trials for microbicides (vaginal gels that can be applied to neutralize the virus and protect from infection) have been going on for years have had mixed results, at best. The news of this study is ground-breaking and could change the HIV prevention landscape.   In this particular clinical trial in South Africa, prevention of transmission os not 100% failsafe, only significantly reduced.  Researchers want to improve the efficacy, continue with additional trials, and if viable, get this thing to market ASAP.

Fabulous news! (Sometimes I miss practicing public health).

Vienna: Hollman-Beletage Hotel

observatrice exhibitioniste voyeuse

Drawing the bath, she walked naked along the perimeter of the room tending to things.  The curtains of the large windows were open to the anonymous city outside.  This quiet, dead-end street had few passers-by, and housed a small cafe with about five occupied tables this evening and a hotel across the street.  Most of those rooms were quiet - either dark or curtains drawn with hints of light around the edges, sometimes bluish - hinting at the residents inside and their televisions.

One room directly across, and just slightly down a level had some movement in it.  A couple had entered from their evening out, and were settling in for the night.  The bedside table light was on and the curtains were open, as they each went about readying for sleep.  The man was in his early 50's, dark hair, glasses - definitely European, as evidenced by the shape of his glasses; his casual, but polished, style; and graceful, distinguished ageing.  As the wife disappeared into the bathroom, he removed his pants and sweater, leaving on a white button-down shirt and dark briefs.  He sat on the edge of the bed - his side - and looked out the window.

Aware she could be seen, the bather approached the window, and looked outside into the night towards the sky, as if contemplating tomorrow's weather.  The windowsill came to about the level of her hips baring her upper torso - breasts most prominently on display, hair pulled back in a loose twist, with strands  astray falling about her face, the curve of her hips and ass.  She turned towards the closet just beside the window and opened it, her body still visible in profile.  She pretended to look for something, perhaps tomorrow's clothes - she bent down towards the shoes, stretched upwards towards the tee-shirt sitting on the closet shelf.  She turned back toward the window, and they looked straight at each other.

She left the window, busied herself again about the room, turned off the bathwater - it could wait -and considered her next move.  She adjusted the lighting in the room to create balance of both shadows and visibility, and walked back towards the window.  Again, he looked out as her figure darkened the window frame.  She glanced towards him and pretended not to notice, as she again contemplated the sky, then the cafe down below, and the closet.  He remained looking out right towards her window, but also made no acknowledgment of her presence.  Unable to linger any longer, and not sure what to do next, she busied herself about the room - arranging the papers and magazines, pouring a glass of water.

A few moments later, she returned to her windowside perch.  He was lying in bed, now wearing a charcoal grey tee, reading a book, the sheets were pulled across his thighs.  His wife was now beside him, alike, except in a light blue tee, also reading a book.  They mirrored each other in their bedside reading.  The lone bather looked out, and saw him look away from his book and towards her window.  She wondered if - she hoped- he was sufficiently distracted to perhaps kiss his wife good night and run his hand along her thigh - an advance - and then she could watch their coupling.  The bather and the reader did their rounds a few more times - she leaving her window, returning, he glancing away from his book towards her - but both he and his wife never left their reading positions, and eventually the game of the bather and the handsome stranger ran its course.

The bather was disappointed he hadn't touched his wife.  Or perhaps, if their life was how she grimly imagined, they couldn't remember the last time they made love, even vacation sex, and the wife would have been surprised by his move or rebuffed him.  Or perhaps he was not prepared with his Viagra.  Had she been more bold, or even slightly more practiced at nude city-night people-watching (perhaps even next time), the bather might have lingered longer and more purposefully at the window, leaning in to look up the street toward the corner, or even ran her hand along her sides, and absentmindedly touched her breasts, even traced her nipples - as if he had caught her in a private reverie - as if.  Perhaps, if this were true Penthouse letters, she would have been brasher still - directly acknowledging him, letting her hands wander more deliberately, or even signaled to him to make a move on his wife, so she could watch for all of their excitement.  But not that either, and likely not that ever.

Following her bath, in which her mind wandered to the possibilities and pondered the thoughts of the man across the street, she, too, put on her bed clothes - a navy tee, and loose cotton pants, no underwear, and slept with the light sheet twisted around her body.  She awoke in the early morning light, the curtains were still open, and looked across the street.  They were both sleeping.  A few minutes later, he was reading and she had left the bed.  In the broad daylight, her presence at the window did not change anything like it had in the night lights.  She readied herself for the day, and when she looked out the window again before heading for breakfast, they were both gone.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Magnetic Poetry Set for the UN

I've been in Vienna for one of those big international meetings.  In this case, it's the International AIDS Conference that takes place every 2 years (next one in DC in 2012).  To be more precise, I've been at a pre-conference symposium of about 450 people, as well as some smaller meetings.  The global conference has about 20,000 people and starts today - which is why I'm skipping town and heading home.  I enjoy my work on most days, and I used to do even more of this global hob-nobbing, but I grew weary and had other interests in life besides moving the gears of international bureaucracy, so I've moved in a slightly different direction.  Still when I'm back in the game, I get jazzed to be among my people talking about our stuff.  Increasingly though, I'm a little glazed and slightly dazed at these things. As an outsider, I find myself slightly bemused in our meetings, where we speak alot and say nothing, so I've decided to develop a magnetic poetry set for attending global meetings.  String together any of the below words and phrases, and you can participate, too!

inclusion     participation     participatory    comprehensive    inform    disseminate    society    community    community-based    healthcare systems     access     quality services      reduction    elimination    virtual elimination   eradicate    alleviate    women and children    safety and security    society    reach     researchers and practitioners     create     develop    support     strengthen    most vulnerable     affirm    re-affirm    commit    re-commit    progress    adequate progress   appropriate     process     measure    civil society     contribute    empower   reach    bringing together    chronicle and document   joint-efforts    gatekeepers    entry points   advance   rigor   robust evidence    knowledge gap    action   efforts   initiative     challenges and opportunities     stakeholders    partnerships   public-private partnerships    outcomes    results     resources   goals   2012   2015   programmes    
                    
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...