New York for Marriage Equality

A Marriage Equality vote is going to the State Senate soon - likely next week - as they try to catch up with DC's enlightened ways.  It's close, but it looks like it's just one vote away from passing, and that Senator remains undecided.  And in getting to that threshold, recently, Republican State Senator, Roy McDonald crossed party lines to state he planned to vote for it.   He was quoted as saying:

"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing.

"You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, f**k it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing."  

Way to go, Mc Donald.  Here's to evolving.  Her's to not seeing life in black and white.  Here's to doing the right thing.  And while, I'm at it, here's to TMZ.com, the celebrity gossip site for covering it and standing on the side of love.

Sweet Mango Armpit

Fragrance in body products have always annoyed and amused me.  While I don't always get unscented products, I do seek out the lightest, most natural fragrance for my hair, body, and laundry.  Recently, it seems like the scenting has gotten out of control - "Cherry Mischief" Clear Gel Deodorant by Secret (wow! - that's practically a porn flick) or "Va Va Vanilla" also by Secret. I really don't want my armpit smelling like a bakery.  It seems rather ridiculous.  But while I steer clear of such frou-frou scenting, at least they make some scent sense.

This morning, however, I was shaving in the shower with Skintimate Extra Moisturizing Shave Gel for Sensitive Skin.  I must have bought it on sale - it would not usually jump into my shopping cart from the shelf.  The lather was bright pink, and smelled sickly sweet like strawberry-mango cotton candy.  I looked down at the label to figure out what on earth I had purchased....

"Cashmere Rain" it said on the label.  What?!?!  Is that like a damp sweater or a muggy summer rainstorm?  Is it soft fuzzy raindrops?  Or wet velvet?  At any rate, it's the dumbest marketing I've ever seen in my entire life.  I can't believe no one caught that in the focus group.   Jeesh.

Radio City Music Hall, New York

Cool! Life's lessons in data form

Yet another amazing interactive data graphic at the NYTimes.  This one is a measure of the frequency of key words within this season's commencement speeches.  I am, as usual, particularly enamored with the data presentation.  The list of colleges and universities (organized by private, public, and military) with the commencement speaker name, affiliation, and link to speech on YouTube runs along the left column.  Key word (and by extension themes) run across the top.  And the circle size represents frequency of word use. So much information, so clearly presented at once; it can be looked at as a whole ("world" ran across nearly every speech), or disassembled in its parts (Sheryl Sandberg, COO Facebook sure said "Facebook" a lot, but it was a popular refrain across the board).

The themes tell us something about our times - "world," "economy," "Facebook/Twitter" - but also reflect the grandiose and seemingly limitless horizon that "commencement" provides -"change," "service/responsibility," "joy/happiness,"  and "love/passion."

I think I would enjoy Jonathan Franzen's address about the importance of going beyond "Liking" a la Facebook, but to take a boldder, braver, more purposeful step of "loving" and embracing.  And I find it interesting that Bill Clinton, the world's statesman, told NYU's graduates, "You should strive to find happiness every day and not believe that it comes at the end of the journey." - a lesson he surely learned on a visit with the Dalai Lama.

And back to Sheryl Sandberg - a woman who has made more money than God paving our new roads of human interaction through social networks and digital media.  She wisely told the group of undergraduates at Barnard College, a women's college in New York City:

Women almost never make one decision to leave the work force. It doesn’t happen that way. They make small little decisions along the way that eventually lead them there. Maybe it’s the last year of med school when they say, “I’ll take a slightly less interesting specialty because I’m going to want more balance one day.” Maybe it’s the fifth year in a law firm when they say, “I’m not even sure I should go for partner, because I know I’m going to want kids eventually.” These women don’t even have relationships, and already they’re finding balance, balance for responsibilities they don’t yet have. And from that moment, they start quietly leaning back.

So, my heartfelt message to all of you is, and start thinking about this now, do not leave before you leave. Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.

Wise words, indeed! 

Take this evilsayers...

Here's one of those feel-good stories when all that evil hate is deflected to good. Lisa Lampanelli * told the nasty homophobic Westboro Baptist Church that for every one of their protesters at her KS show she would donate $1000 to a gay charity.

Now, Gay Men's Health Crisis (NY) is $50k richer.


* Who is she? Not sure, but she must be famous-ish because I found this story on the celebrity gossip blog TMZ.com, that I indulge in on a regular basis despite having no idea who they are talking about.

The struggle

I'm struggling these days, weeks, months to keep my perspective.  For whatever reasons, it feels like the wind in my sails has died, and I am dealing with all sorts of self-doubt, second guessing, and a massive crisis of confidence.  I'm not sure exactly where I left my mojo, or who took it from me.  But I do know that I was in a much better place 6 months ago.  I know I am the same person, living the same beautiful life, in the same enviable circumstance.  I'm not ungrateful, far from it, in fact.  And yet, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am less.  Sometimes it feels like loss.  Sometimes it feels like disappointment.  Sometimes it's a feeling of being overwhelmed by my current circumstances, while underwhelmed by the alternative.   My inner peace suffers discontent.  My creative spark is gone; and my energy is zapped; my optimism is crowded out by resignation; my passion, by apathy.

There are many things that lead me to believe that this is a temporary condition.  I have my faith that this, too, shall pass.  I'm aware that in some ways my time feels so dreadfully slow and stagnant, but so much happens over the course of a day, a week, a month, a year that I both don't see the progress, or recognize the inflection points until they become retrospective.  I know that a good swim can clear my head in 20 minutes (though these 20 minutes are few and farther between these days.  I know that my church can fill my soul with exuberant  joy, profound peace, and deep aches simultaneously in the best of all possible ways.  I know the best thing for me would be to let go, and let it be.  That my self-loving voice will serve me better than my self-critical one, but that ironically, that self-love must includes self-acceptance that embraces that inner critic.  I know that happiness is a practice.

But for now, all that shit is not kicking in and here I am...struggling...  

Old Boyfriend Tour

Yesterday morning, I had to drive from someplace to somewhere on I-495 - the 10-lane ring road that surrounds Washington, DC and connects its first-tier suburbs. As I whizzed passed the exits - Takoma Park...Silver Spring...Kensington...Bethesda - at nearly 80 mph, I thought of the once-boyfriend who lived there.  Our good times and our endings flashed through my mind; some sour feelings, but mostly warm ones washed over me.

And then a nerdy, bad pun entered my head, and the Old Boyfriend Tour screeched to a halt with a groan..."Notches in my Beltway"

OBL - Metrics

Osama bin Laden was killed this week by US forces.  I have many thoughts about this and other things - some blog posts rattling around my head that may never find this outlet because I'm busy and living life fully!  But I did appreciate this interactive, graphic, polling tool from the NYTimes that plots both significance of his death in the war on terror and emotional response response of the event.  Neither scientific, nor representative - it does allow for some additional insight of the pulse of readers.

Cool tool!

This is so AWESOME, it's SICK!

When I found this data graph for DC's awesome Capital BikeShare, I became nearly giddy.  I've been playing with it for the last hour or so, and I'm like a kid in a candy store.  My heart is aflutter - for real! All my favorite things!  I love metrics.  I love cities.  I love interactive real time data.  I love bikes, and more so bike shares.  I love CaBi. so proud to be one of the founding members (as one of the first 2,000 members with a free t-shirt and commemorative keyfob....(geekster grin: Geek + Hipster = Geekster!)).  I love public transport, and more so if it's extra-green and innovative public transport.

Here's the link again...now let's play!  So much data depicted on first click.  First, the overall view of the CaBi program is the homescreen.  Larger circles denote larger stations with more bike docks.  The color of the circles show how full/empty the docks are - blue is emptier, deep red is an completley full station.  The graph is realtime, and the lower right hand corner gives usage stats.  Right now, pretty late on a Thursday evening, use is a low, sleepy 3%.  The max simultaneous usage for today was 173 bikes, in use, or a respectable 20% of all available bikes in use (more about this later).  That lower right hand info box has some pretty cool extra features.  You can show or hide a ticker which tells you bikes going in and out of station realtime.  It also shows usage and distribution imbalance datagraphs for the day.  Around 5pm, today the fewest bikes were in docks - or conversely, the most were in use.

Even more fun...there is an animation button where we can see those station circles go from blue to red and back again in a neato timelapse run.  See how, people head downtown, and then back to residential districts over the course of a day.  Sounds like a commuter city, until you realize this is by bikes, not crawling on the Beltway!  Mixed-use zones - shopping/residential/business like Dupont Circle and Capitol Hill get used all day.

Then, there's a little thrill ride here...Click on a station, and see it's dock stats for the last 24-hour period - the peaks and valleys of rush hour, the sharp zig-zags of frequent use.  For example, 16th and U has a precipitous drop from totally full to totally empty during the morning rush hour, as this high-density, young, urban hipster neighborhood heads out to work, presumably downhill towards downtown.  The Union Station dock does the same, with an opposite effect - all the bikes are taken from this busy transit hub around 6pm and dispersed to other docks within the nearby residential neighborhood.  One of my local stations at 14th and D Streets SE gets decent use throughout the day, but by 9pm, it's docks are full.  This matches my recent experience, when one evening, I grabbed a CaBi bike from the pool toward home, and found no docks at this station.  I had to ride a few blocks farther, though not too much off my path, to return my bike to a different station.  And Eastern Market (8th and Penn SE) and Dupont Circle stations get a fair amount of usage throughout the day.

And that awesome little addictive live data set led me to the supra-awesome blog Suprageography: I see data, I make maps that covers bikeshare data stats for several urban bikeshare programs around the world.  WOW!  I totally [HEART] that Oliver guy!  He recently posted about a big day for bikesharing - Easter Sunday - where he notes there was HUGE usage in DC (in the #1 ranking), Miami, and London - all soaring above 35% simultaneous bikes in use.  In DC 37% of our 872 bikes were in use at about 4 in the afternoon (I'm reasonably sure I had a bike out about that time).  He notes that usage rates above 30% stress the system, and it is difficult to find a bike in many places.  His table shows that not only is DC an amazing bikesharing city, but we have a relatively large program with our almost 900 books, especially with the relative size of our population compared to some of the other bikesharing cities - like London and Mexico City.  And, as he kindly points out so I don't have to be all puffy about it, America is beating Europe!


Yay, CaBi!  Yay DC!  I could eat this stuff all day.  

You know it's a bad date when...

...when he keeps twisting your words to prove his belief that women are bitches
...when you begin to wish you followed him to the bar to order the drinks, in case he slipped in a "roofie"
...when you realize that it is time to clearly, definitively, and immediately extract yourself, and are scheming how to do so without pissing him off
...when you begin to go over the information you shared to figure out if it is enough for him to find you at work or home
...when you look over your shoulder constantly all the way to the metro to make sure he's not following you
...when you leave a voicemail and email yourself with the details of what you know about him, where you met, and what you experienced to help out the investigation just in case you end up dead somewhere
...when you get home you double lock the door, and set the alarm

Yikes, that was freaky!

Sunday Morning

Pancakes 

-with real Vermont maple syrup

Canadian Bacon

Fruits Exotiques

- pineapple, banana, kiwi with honey lime dressing

Juice 
& fresh-brewed French Roast coffee

The Red and the Black (The blog post in which La Nouvelle Observatrice lets on to the whole wide world just how soccer-ignorant she is)

Ok, maybe soccer-ignorant isn't the word, but soccer-shallow (sadly) for sure. Tonight I went with M to the DC United vs LA Galaxy match over at RFK Stadium. The stadium is just a few minutes walk from my house, about 5 blocks, and yet in my eight years living here, I've never, ever been to a game. Tonight, I finally made it, and I'm sure it will not be another 8 before the next time. We had a blast. Still, my commentary is limited. Here are some of my observations:

RFK is a dump. Seriously, it is a shabby, dilapidated building, with weird stains and strange molds hanging from the structure. There is broken concrete and open, messy wiring. Seats are not well-marked. No one gives a damn. Maybe one day, they'll get a dedicated soccer stadium - too bad the whole country is broke.

The vending in our section sucked. No real fridges, just coolers full of ice and blue Gatorade with the labels slipping off.  It was cash-only, which always pisses me off. M and I got beer - lukewarm and pissy.

The hooligans...er...supporters' clubs... are pretty cool.  Barra Brava is hardcore. Their huge red and black flags, chants and drums are larger than life, and thumpin'. That, my dears, is fandom. They roar and jump and their whole section bounces. The whole stadium vibrates, in fact. A little scary. Is this place structurally sound? Anyway, they're fun to watch, but I'm too old for that.

The regular old fans are an interesting mix. The suburban families, the college (once-college) players, the Euro-urban sports fan elite, the entire Central American population of the greater DC Metro area. The guys in our section were pretty much from the latter group. If I heard "mierda...puta" one more time...

David Beckham (LA Galaxy), like me, is also getting old, but he was there and he played well. At one point there was a big smash-up where two players seemed to smack right into each others' faces. I remember thinking 'Ouch!'.... That, and that would never happen to Beckham. He's a good, hard player and all, but can't really afford to mess up his handsome, chiseled face. Landon Donavan (also LA Galaxy) didn't play. Apparently, he's busy, tired and his knee hurts, and he didn't travel out with the team. I don't recall the name of a single DCUnited player.

Oh yes, I do...Charlie Davies, who scored DCUnited's only goal with a penalty kick which tied the game's final score  of 1-1. That was good. M told me he was in some horrific car accident sometime last year, and is just playing again now.

I bought a DC United fan scarf. It's red and black with DC United and  Addidas logos knitted in.  It's reversible - black side with red or red side with black. I've always wanted one of those scarves.

Really, I should do this sports reporting more often...

A blogging tear

I seem to be on a blogging tear here...:-)  Did you notice? ;-)

I'm just so happy to have a normal weekend.  Five of the last six weekends have been taken up by travel for work and for play - to Philadelphia, Guatemala, Disney World, Philadelphia (2), and Portland.  I forget what kind of toll that takes, until I'm finally sitting down again on a lazy Saturday at home.  Laundry, blogging, cleaning, cooking, a walk and cultural fair with Dear Daughter, seeing friends, and a swim.  And my mind is quiet and happy, my thoughts take a leisurely stroll around my head.  Time to relax, time to reflect.  And a little blogging.  Oh, little blog, how I've missed you.  xo.

Portland, Oregon

During my recent business trip to Portland, Oregon, I especially loved my visit to the Mercy Corps offices. These new digs for the $200m international development and relief non-profit are just incredible. The LEED Platinum design is so inspiring. I especially loved this central staircase in the middle of the building. A central lightwell fills the space fills the atrium and surrounding offices with natural sunlight. And it's inviting views, central mid-air bridge, and easy access invite one to choose the stairs (A small elevator was tucked away in a corner). It's frame was a brushed steel, warmed by reclaimed wooden planks. Just gorgeous.  

Fruit Bat, H St. NE

Outside the window, one Wednesday evening in the spring

W

Professional Urban Grrl's No-Sweat Triathalon

Sportswear: Black leggings, black wool tunic sweater, black ballet flats, teal double-breasted spring trench (Pool: black swimsuit, black swim cap, pink goggles)
Getting to the starting line:  Leave work in taxi with colleague for an in-transit meeting.


Start:  Union Station

1st Leg (Walk) - Walk and talk with colleague heading north on North Capitol Street, part company at H Street.  Hang a right.  Cross bridge over train tracks.  Admire spring day - low humidity, temperature in the low-seventies, late daylight (it's already six-thirty! and the light gives everything a spring-pink glow).  Arrive on the other side of tracks - H Street NE, the edgy in-neighborhood with bars, restaurants, and coffee shops, with a hip-hop-city-punk-funk vibe. Recall the previous evening in one such establishment with friends and drinks.  Make note to self to hang out there more, and check out some of the new places.

2nd Leg (Bike) - Grab a Capital Bikeshare bicycle.  Place black work bag on the front carrier, and secure with neato fitted bungee cord.  Unbutton trench coat for ease of moment, and for cool teal trailing effect while riding.  Board bike, and head south on 4th Street NE past lovely, historic, restored rowhouses.  Note buds on trees giving a light fuzzy green-  or sometimes rose-, colored  glow of their early leaves.  Note beautiful spring gardens in postage-stamp front yards - tulips, daffodils, and blazing yellow forsythia.  Zig-zag through the neighborhood streets towards Eastern Market - going past more lovely house, small city parks full of dogs, kids, and friendly neighbors cavorting in the early evening, brought together by their shared community and the pleasant spring evening.  Arrive at Eastern Market, and park bike in the CaBI bike dock.

Pit Stop -  Enter Marvelous Market for a bottle of water and pack of soy nuts.  Sit outside on the french cafe chairs.  Check iPhone for messages.  Greet and chat with neighbor MS.

3rd Leg (Swim) - Enter public pool facility, and change into swimwear.  Shower quickly, and enter pool for 30 minutes of laps.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Let head roll out its day.  Marvel in the head-clearing power of exercise.   Chat with lanemate about water temperature - a tad cooler than lately.  Exit pool, shower, change.

Homeward Bound - Grab a CaBi bike for the short ride to the next docking station.  Walk remaining three blocks.

Finish: Home. Greet Dear Daughter, read books, snuggle, and wish sweet dreams.

Spring training never felt so good.

That's NOT what I asked for....

I'm in a particularly irritable mood.  Today when paying for my lunch, I asked the cashier to add a Diet Coke to my order, and pointed to the fridge stocked with soda cans.  On my way out, I went to grab my soda.

But there was only caffiene-free Diet Coke.  When I asked about it, I was told they were out of Diet Coke.  I looked at the options - Coca-Cola and Sprite Zero.  Neither would do.  I want the caffeine of the Coca-Cola and the sugar-free, no calories of the Sprite Zero in my cold, lunchtime fizzy drink.

I left quite grouchy with a Sprite Zero.  I really shouldn't be this annoyed.

The Secret (a poem by Denise Levertov)

The Secret
by Denise Levertov
Two girls discover the secret of life in a sudden line of poetry. I who don't know the secret wrote the line. They told me (through a third person) they had found it but not what it was not even what line it was. No doubt by now, more than a week later, they have forgotten the secret, the line, the name of the poem. I love them for finding what I can't find, and for loving me for the line I wrote, and for forgetting it so that a thousand times, till death finds them, they may discover it again, in other lines in other happenings. And for wanting to know it, for assuming there is such a secret, yes, for that most of all.

Still kickin'

Oui, oui..I'm still here, and all is well.  Life is good, in fact...very good.

1.  In the most significant change, I have a new boss.  She is phenomenal - so good, and so different from my last years of difficult boss relations, it's like having a new job.  My daily stress and tension are gone.  People say my face is more relaxed.  When I took my swim the other day, I had nothing - that's right nothing to work through.  I've learned so much from her in just over a month, and I'm glad I stuck it out, just to have the chance to have a new model, a new mentor - way more akin to my natural style.  We travelled together in Guatemala for 5 days - that's a lot of travel time - and still I have nothing but respect.  I think she's so cool, in fact, I'm a little afraid that I will consciously or sub-consciously go out and buy her same watch, her same shoes, her same notebook...and that might be a little creepy.  We actually are eerily similar already in terms of taste and mannerisms.

The rest is not change, as much as a nice lot of good stuff.

2.  I'm swimming regularly again, after along stretch of sick and tired...or busy...or traveling.  My swims are wonderful.

3.  I have great friends, and lately, I've gotten to see them more regularly.  We go out for drinks, for dinner, for walks...and each time, I leave with a sense of contentment.  On a not-so-content note, two of these friends will soon no longer be part of my DC fabric.  Dear Friend A accepted a government contract, and will soon ship overseas.  Dear Friend M is preparing to move to Bangkok.  Over the last few years, I've lost quite a few good friends from my daily local life.  First, C and family moved to Tanzania, where they have rooted - even had their third child - over the last two years.  And of course, great friend L moved first to Beijing, then to Paris.  Oh, how I miss their presence in my life.  I have, however, met my first new, real friend in years.  This friend M and I hang out, and chit-chat for hours.  And while we're both busy as professional, working, and more-or-less single moms - it almost makes  pursuing a friendship in hectic times easier, or at least more forgiving.

4.  My daughter is healthy, thriving, growing and so cool.  Not only is she great...but there is no new school for several years on the horizon, no new childcare plans, and we are not moving houses anytime soon.

5.  It's spring, and I love, love, love cherry blossoms.  I'm so not immune to their potion-spinning gorgeousness.

And so it goes...I'm lucky, and happy, and at peace....and I appreciate even this patch of smooth air.

(Practically) free to a good home

On Saturday, we held a yard sale.  It was a brisk, early spring morning - a bit too early spring for a yard sale, and a bit too early morning for me, but the urge to de-clutter Right Now cannot be denied, and no other free weekend presented itself anytime soon.  It wasn't about the money or the stuff.  It was mostly about getting the stuff out to people who will enjoy it for a while, and throwing in a little lesson for Dear Daughter about entrepreneurship and counting change.  The morning yielded a bit over $100, and a whole lot less stuff - the rest went to Good Will this morning.  Yard sales are a win-win.  I'm free of stuff and clutter. I feel so enterprising. And most of all, some nice new and people now have my treasures in their good homes.

There was the Early Bird mom who got here around 8:30.  From Utah, she and family are staying temporarily on Capitol Hill in a furnished, but lacking-in-character, home.  Presumably on a Mormon mission, she said she had kids of "varying ages."  The Early Bird did indeed get the worm...errrr...some of the best goods -  a kids dominoes set and a memory game, a clock puzzle, a doctor kit, and some books.

A young woman and her Spaniard boyfriend in his Real Madrid shirt purchased a set of four crisp white porcelain cups and saucers in which I imagine they will enjoy some  strong coffee on late weekend afternoons. A young Urban Greenster couple biked over - she sporting her "Stop Greed" pin on her tweed-y jacket - bought four russet-colored woven placemats, four cloth napkins in tones of green and brown, and an ecru-colored pottery serving bowl with a deep blue abstract bird design.  A gorgeous combination! -  wish I had thought of it myself -  and sure to be a hit at their next vegetarian potluck dinner party.

Two African-American women in their 50's came to admire my collections of African textiles - batik-ed table cloths, woven mats, brightly printed cloth, and gauzy scarves.  They bought almost all of it plus an ugly mint-green bathroom rug -  and since they came late in the morning, they filled several bags of such treasure for $10.

Another young couple arrived on their bikes.  He had a scraggly reddish beard and olive green jacket, and asked me about my Peace Corps days.  She told me she was of Vietnamese descent, and bought a children's book in English and Vietnamese about a frog and an umbrella - she said it was "for someday."  They are just at the beginning of their couplehood.  They also bought three African cookbooks - that frankly have a lot of repeat recipes, and from which I've cooked less than a handful of meals over two handfuls of years.  I hope those books get some cook-stained memories at last.

An older African-American man, his feet swollen from diabetes or hypertension, shuffled off with my swivel office chair that lost its back a few months ago.  While a white-haired white guy, bought my Africa tome - historical and political essays.  I asked for a dollar, but he gave me two.

A few other people bought a few other things, each one sauntering off with her find..."at such a good price." And I'm doing some sauntering myself - a little richer, a little less encumbered, and very pleased that some of my good stuff found good homes.