I [HEART] Mark Bittman (2)

The Minimalist is no more.  After thirteen years of weekly food columns in the NYTimes, Mark Bittman is retiring The Minimalist.  I'm sad.   It's like the end of an era.  The Minimalist was formative and transformative to my cooking, eating and media consumption life.  I mean for as long as I can remember I've turned to The Minimalist for easy - time, technique and ingredients - recipe inspirations. At first, I just sort of stumbled across the column every once in a while with newly discovered pleasure each time (these were the days before I knew that reading a cookbook by the pool for fun next to all those chicks reading People magazine made me sort of an odd duck). Later, I'd actively seek it out, and turn first  to The Minimalist in my freshly delivered copies of the Times.  Still later, I'd forage it out on the web.  I'd eat up his special editions "101 Simple Appetizers in 20 Minutes or Less" and "101 Simple Salads for the Season,"  - simply sensational with just a little of this, a little of that approach..  And these last few years, I've become hungrier and hungrier earlier and earlier for newest installments of The Minimalist videos on NY Times premium content - here's the whole video link catalog, 200 of them!  (I'm drooling on my keyboard).   And I've paid homage to him here in a previous post under the same name.  Perhaps you're still not sure who I'm talking about.  But if you've ever had No-Knead Bread, then you've eaten him, and loved it.

I devour Mark Bittman's other outlets. He is a Whole Man, not just The Minimalist.  I have his books such as How to Cook Everything and How to Cook Everything Vegetarian. I was a regular viewer of that PBS food show where Mark Bittman, Mario Batali traveled in a sporty convertible around Spain with Gwyneth Paltrow and some hot Spanish model-chick eating, drinking and cooking. (It was all a little annoying - unless, of course you're the one in the little yellow Benz, traveling around eating ceviche and rioja, washing it down with a glass of cava and a little dulce, and then heading back to the inn for a good shag, in which case it's not annoying at all, and hard to understand why the rest of the world isn't totally glued to your amazing adventure).

Bittman will continue to write for the Times - in a foodie capacity in the NYTimes Sunday magazine and in a regular blog.  He will also be writing in the Opinion section on the politics and politics of food - on topics such as fresh, local unprocessed foods, obesity and farming - hopefully using his insight and his influence for a new sustainable food movement.  (Amen).  This is a good thing.

I suppose I shouldn't be so sad that The Minimalist is gone, when indeed Mark Bittman is still very much around and thriving.  But it is sort of like the simple Minimalist found weekly in black and white newsprint, is now the Maxi-Multimedia Millionaire Magnate talking about simple cooking and traditional farm practices.  It's all good, just please don't read his blog on your iPad while trying to have a nice meal at home together.

Here's The Minimalist's twenty-five favorite recipe columns to remember him by.  Bon Appetit. And a lovely Minimalist Champagne Cocktail.  Cheers!

I Have a Dream

Photo cribbed from the Internet

In observance of MLK day last week, the fourth graders at Watkins Elementary School - the DC public school where Dear Daughter is a 1st grader - recited King's famous "I Have a Dream Speech"on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. This is the seventh year they have done so, and this year it was prominently featured in the media.  Here is the amazing slide show of photos taken by my friend, neighbor, and fellow school parent, KJ.

The slide show is quite remarkable, as it captures the dream *somewhat* realized almost 50 years later.  A reality where African-American and European-American kids go to school together.  They are classmates, teammates, and *sometimes* actual friends.  These school kids don't know it any other way.

Dear Daughter's school is somewhat of an anomaly in DC, in the DC metro area, and in the country as a whole.  Its demographics are a fascinating socioeconomic study in itself - 64% Black, 30% white, 3% Asian/Pacific, 2% Hispanic.  That ethnic diversity is hard to find anywhere. Twenty-nine percent are eligible for free or reduced lunch  - it's unusual, and I think quite remarkable, to have this mix of economic strata.

Watkins School's reading and math proficiency scores don't knock your socks off - hovering around 60%  and 65% in  math and reading testing proficiency respectively.  This is respectable, if not still totally unacceptable, in light of its demographic and socioeconomic context.  

So-called thriving DC public elementary schools in Upper Northwest - aka, Upper Northwhite or Upper Cupcake - tell a different story...

Vivian Maier- Nanny/Photographer Extraordinaire

Photo credit:www.vivianmaier.blogspot.com

The world has recently discovered a the extraordinary photographs of Vivian Maier.  Maier was a nanny to  a Chicago family for 17 years whose now-grown children remember her as a Mary Poppins-type figure who delighted them with her French accent and wild adventurous outings. Somewhat of a private and solitary person, she spent her days off walking the streets with her camera - B&W, real film!! - capturing vivid street scenes with amazing framing, beautiful context, a wonderful story in every shot.

Once discovered - a bunch of negatives in an old box bought at a sale of an abandoned storage unit, set aside, and finally scanned and shared on Flickr two years later - the buzz of the find went viral.

Cold enough for you?

Brrrrrrrrrr....we're experiencing an icy chill here in Washington.  It's been well- below freezing the last few days.  A huge departure from the semi-balmy typical winters in this quasi-Southern city. Today's wake-up temperature was 18 degrees, and this past weekend hovered in the 20's. (Love ya, Capital Weather Gang!). It's been lots of tea, hot chocolate, soup, long underwear, down coats, and woolly hats around here.  This deep freeze all across the northeast US - minus 35F in Saranac Lake, NY this morning!!! - and atypical icy, snowy conditions this winter in Europe are throwing us all for a loop.  Coupled with last winter's historic blizzards, it's all quite bizarre.

But for the global warming skeptics - more appropriately and accurately referred to as climate change - please do not get all smug about it.  The Arctic is downright balmy these days with 15 to 20 degree above average temperatures.  And it sports a polar ice cap 30% smaller than in 1979 when we first began to measure it.

It all quite freaky if you ask me.  I mean, have you read how the earth's magnetic poles seem to be reversing?  Someday your compass needle pointing at the 'N', will actually be heading you towards Miami.

Seriously, I'm kind of freaked out.  I even may start to panic if I thought it might do any good...

The Sartorialist. Like.

I'm a big fan of The Sartorialist blog by Scot Schuman.  This photographic blog is focused almost entirely on street style - pictures of people on the streets of New York, Paris, Milan, London, Seoul - who just look good.  Sometimes it's about the fashion, but more often it's their straight-up personal style.  The people are regular people - ok, beautiful regular people - just walking around the city minding their own business without a hair stylist, a make-up artist, or a studio, and The Sartorialist just captures their individual essence expressed just so in what they wear.

I'm especially drawn to the way he captures street style on the fly like this beautiful woman with her bike in Milan or this smiling woman with her checked coat walking across a square in Florence.  I'm completely enamored with these funky, casual threads in the NY winter chill.  And the shades of blue with Dansko clogs and warm woolen socks in Soho.  I love this older man whose individualistic style just seeps from his pores  - or is it eccentricity?  Either way, he totally owns it.  I also like this young scruffy handsome with his portrait collar.

Flowers

Drying out - Day 17; 14 to go

The insights on not drinking remain small - not nearly as profound as I had imagined.

I continue to be tempted - really tempted - in certain situations with certain triggers. Like the time I went out for a really nice work dinner at Darlington House - the lovely Victorian rowhouse, our table next to the fireplace, and thoughtful fine food demanded a glass of fine wine; but also the long day at work that was continuing with this networking dinner meant I had to be 'ON' after 6pm, and would have been nicely smoothed out by a glass of vino.  Or the time I hung out with sis and family starting in the afternoon through easy supper, and wanted a cool beer to add to the casual family day, football in the background.  But once again, each time was pretty easily managed.

I feel clearer and more free - like my head is unclouded.  But there is no way, I drink near enough or often enough to be going through my regular life in an alcohol-induced fog, so I'm not sure I can attribute this clarity to not drinking.

Nonetheless, it does feel like my life is simpler - and that also means nicer - without alcohol...and without dating. And that scares and saddens me because I hope one day to have the pleasure of both a glass of good wine and a good man back in my life.

Friends, family, love, hugs

This weekend, I've been blessed with wonderful friends and family surrounded by love.  It's felt so marvelous.  No special occasion, no special efforts just beautifulness.  Some highlights...

• A long, lazy Saturday morning with Dear Daughter.  We are reveling in each other lately.
• Saturday evening with my sister and family - hanging out with nachos and talking about nothing in particular.  The kids, her husband, sis, and me - floating in and out seamlessly - just family ease and love.
• Sunday morning at All Souls Church - a big (first) hug from Rev. Rob Hardies, with a nice 'mwah' to accompany it.  A beautiful soprano voice fills the silence of the sanctuary with "We Shall Overcome."  
• Sunday brunch with my first new, real friend in years.  M is also a single mom, doing 90% of the parenting.  She's also urban, professional, accomplished and stylish.  It's nice to have a new friend with so much in common.
• Sunday "quiet time" with a book and a computer.
• Giving flowers to our au pair to celebrate her 1-year anniversary in our home and family. It feels good to give and to make others feel good. 
• An evening with K&J - dear longtime friends who excude warmth, welcome and goodness.  A delicious dinner.

Today is reserved for nothing in particular - some cooking, some relaxing, reading, and perhaps some games.  I could not be more content.

Drying out - Day 11; 20 to go

This whole experiment has been pretty anticlimactic so far.  I feared it would be much more difficult to give up drinking for the month. Right now, I'd say it's been one big nothing.

I've certainly had times when I would have liked a drink.  Like the time I made chili, and thought it would be delicious with a beer.  Or when I made a lovely Saturday steak dinner, and I thought a good Cab would be the perfect complement. Or when I had an awful, stressful day at work, and as I left the office, I thought, "Now I'll go home and NOT have a glass of wine."  Or when I went out with M for Happy Hour at Oyamel with amazing tacos 2 for $4, and delicious margaritas for $4 - and I had club soda.  Or when I went to the Tabard Inn with D for Sunday, and the warming fireplace, the cozy living room, the wood panels, and the jazz bassist and guitar on a cold winter night just screamed red wine or bourbon cocktail (and I don't even drink bourbon), but I had cranberry and soda.  Those times were tempting - but each time, I reminded myself I was not drinking for the month, and got over it quickly.

As for the mental and physical effects of not drinking, it's pretty anticlimactic, too.  So far, I might be less puffy (but I'm also over my cold).  I've lost a few pounds (but I'm not shrinking away).  I haven't had my willpower cave (or ever really be tried).  I have not craved a drink (or found it difficult to pass one up).  My social time with friends, some of them drinking buddies (M and D - both of whom I've been known to imbibe with), has been enjoyable.  And I have not been more or less inhibited with them.   I'm only a third of the way through, so it will be interesting to see if anything is compounding.

I'm interested to see how this experiment shows my relationship with alcohol.  Basically, at this early stage, I'd say it's a nice life enhancer.  As a foodie, I think wine, beer or a margarita are a nice complement to well-made meals.  After a long day at the office, a glass of wine helps me chill out, but I found myself  chilled out anyway after not very long without it.  As a social tool, it's nice to have the added effect of of a small buzz of wine in my system.  But all of of this, while nice, has not been notable.

And though, I have a while to go, and I intend to drink again, perhaps (if good comes out of this experiment) in a new way it's been One Big Nothing.  And that is A Good Thing.

Small chick eats nothing for lunch

I realize it's probably my hang-up, but I do get somewhat annoyed by petite women with weak voices who eat nothing for lunch.  Today at Starbucks, while I ordered a hot chocolate - for both the warmth and pleasure of it - I heard the woman next to me order in a polite squeak - a tall iced green tea, "unsweetened" she emphasized, and an oatmeal with soymilk, "no toppings" she added.  Not the worst lunch, and certainly health-conscious - but as I looked at her petite body, her perfect coif, her stylish, but not overly individualistic ensemble (Heaven Forbid!), and her flawlessly "natural" make-up, I wondered if and when she lets go and owns her footprint in the world.  Does this woman ever even have an orgasm?

It also reminds me of this old blogpost with an excellent quote from my  alter ego, Nigella!

Random Act of Culture

How completely wonderful!....A flash mob of the Opera Company of Philadelphia performed Carmen's La Toreador at the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia.  This "random act of culture" was supported by the Knight Foundation's arts program which will pull off 1000 or so such marvelous stunts around the country over the next three years.

I LOVE that kind of arts philanthropy - so creative and with many social benefits. Art philanthropy is especially challenging.  Its social good is recognized, but often determined by some lofty cultural arbiters.  It has a metric - butts in seats, tickets sold - but this has inherent challenges, too. And the shrinking audiences would suggest low demand.  Arts philanthropists often underwrite exhibitions and operating costs of theater and music, as well as arts education and arts exposure (those discounted tickets, those school visits). What does a philanthropic gift for the operating costs of the opera company achieve?  Lots, of course, but it's a rather elite inaccessible art supported by wealthy, mostly white patrons.

This endeavor lets unsuspecting regular people encounter opera in the everyday - perhaps they will be inspired to go to a performance, perhaps they will think opera (and opera singers) are more cool, maybe they will be feel a sense of community engagement and connection, or perhaps it will just bring surprise and joy and to their day, as it did to mine (albeit via You Tube).  Enjoy!

Wanderlust

I'm a traveller. I recently tallied that I've been to a total of 46 countries since my first trip abroad when I was 15. Another travelling friend said she aimed for the same number of countries as her age - so I can slow down my pace a bit to reach 50 by 50. In fact, I wouldn't mind slowing down the pace - visiting a bit more of the US and cutting down on grueling long-haul flights. But no doubt, I have a little wanderlust in my blood. As soon as I land in a foreign place, my senses are stimulated, and the adrenaline kicks up. And while I talk about being 'done' with the travel, I think I'd still like to get to Egypt, Vietnam and Turkey and so many other places, so I suppose as long as I have the opportunity I'll keep getting on planes.

This NYTimes article, 41 Places to Go in 2011, is an annual feature, and got my blood pumping again. A few picks tickled my fancy...

Tlemcen, Algeria; Oualidia, Morocco; and Tozeur, Tunisia were three destinations on the list. I don't have a particular favorite, but I'm drawn to northern Africa by its geocultural junctures of Islam, Africa, the Middle East, the Sahara desert and the Mediterranean Sea.

Salonika, Greece I've never been to Greece, and I'm not a beach person, but I've lately found myself thinking it would be an awfully nice vacation - sailing, exploring pristine and remote coasts, ancient history and amazing food. Enough to do to accompany a good chillax. Direct flights from London on BA...

Erzurum, Turkey I'm not psyched that Erzuram is a winter sports capital, but this mention reminded me that I'd like to go to Turkey sometime, and definitely go to Istanbul and well beyond.

Koh Samui, Thailand My good friend Michele's move to Thailand next month makes it all the more likely that I'll try to go there for a visit. Bangkok for sure - been there, love it! - and this place is called a lower-key Phuket, with a focus on wellness and food (no need to say more...). And when in Thailand, hopefully get to Cambodia or Vietnam.

And closer to home... Fogo Island, Newfoundland I'm finding "remote and rugged" more and more appealing these days (if it can't be Paris). This place sounds blissfull. The NYTimes tagline? An art colony blooms on remote and rugged shores....Take me away, I'm yours.

Other destinations in the article are appealing in some way or another  - Milan, Melbourne, Estonia, Iceland, Spain, Portugal, the San Juan Islands - but these just captured my imagination. As for the US, I totally want to explore more here...and don't know where to start. Perhaps some national parks, New England or the Blue Ridge mountains....

As for me for real, the current travel I've got possibly teed up - New York and Guatemala in February, London, Geneva and...Disney World (!) in March.

Drying out - Day 4; 27 to go

I like to drink.  Especially wine, especially red.  I also like margaritas with Mexican food.  A cold gin & tonic on a summer day.  A beer with junk food and sporting events.   I drink regularly - almost, but not always - every day. I drink from 2 to too many drinks.  I drink to complement and savor a good meal.  I drink to chill out, to take the edge off a hard day, to de-stress and unwind.  I drink as a social activity.  Sometimes, but not often, I drink too much.  A few times last year - 2 or 3 specific times that I recall - I drank more than I should have, when I knew better, and when I had some regrets.

I'm abstaining from alcohol this month.   I have reasons - various and sundry - for not drinking.

1.  I feel "puffy."  Water retention, that may or may not be related to alcohol, is beginning to bother me.  I'm curious if I will de-puff when I lay off alcohol for a bit.
2.  I feel like crap - tired, run down and fighting a nagging chronic cough.  Alcohol, and other vices and excess are not what I need.
3.  It's time to cleanse and detox.  After a month of holiday indulgence - wine, food, spending - I want to practice some self-discpline and cleaner living.
4.  I want to jump-start the next 5.  Over the last few months, the pounds crept on.  A function of several things - lots of fun, lots of stress, a metabolism that screeched to a halt at 40, a little break in the groove of my swimming routine.  But later in the year, I caught on to the stealth creep.  I have reversed the trend, even losing 3-4 pounds over the holidays.  Losing the empty calories in alcohol will hopefully help jumpstart the next Minus-5.
5.  I'm curious how I will feel experiencing life stone sober.  True, the vast majority of my life is stone sober, but what will a dinner party feel like (Actually, I didn't drink NYE over our five course dinner, except the glass of champagne with dessert.  It felt fine - a little boring but fine.)  What will Happy Hour feel like at Oyamel on Thursday when I don't/can't have one of their delicious margaritas?  Will it be difficult to be at a bar and NOT drink?  Will I be tempted?  Will I be VERY tempted?  Will I cave?  Will a bar be louder and more obnoxious when I'm not drinking?  Will I have a good time?
6. Can I do it?  I'm curious whether I can go a month without drinking - and somewhat scared that I can't.  Self-discipline is hardly my strength.  I hate regimens and rules.  I cave on my resolve on all sorts of piddly things for piddly reasons.
7.  And if I do cave,  is it my lack of self-discipline (my chronic lifelong trait) or actually evidence of a drinking problem.  I don't think so, but is that just denial and self-delusion?  You know that "i-can-stop -anytime-I-want-to-I-just-don't-want-to."  Well, the next month is my little test of those systems.  I didn't drink for months when I was pregnant.  More recently, I've gone days, but I don't think a full week, without a drink.  I'm never interested in drinking before evening - a daytime drink makes me tired and sick.  I sometimes don't finish a whole drink when I drink in the day.  So this is the time to put the "I'm pretty sure I don't have a drinking problem" to the test. What is my relationship to alcohol anyway?  
8. I'm curious to observe this as an anthropologist while I'm not drinking.  Do I crave it?  When?  What are my temptation points?  Do I need it or do I enjoy it?  Can I resist it?  I hope to get better insight to my relationship with alcohol in its absence.

It's the end of Day 4.  So far, so good.  On Sunday, as I sat down to a nice salmon dinner, I looked at the wine bottle on the counter, and thought it would be nice with the piece of fish, but I overcame that pretty quickly.  Today, I had a stressful day at work, and I thought, "Now I'll go home, and NOT have a glass of wine."  It would have tasted good, and felt good, too, but the moment passed.  I've made some plans for dinners and drinks over the next few weeks.

I'll report back of some of the other outcomes on issues 1-to-8 over the next month.  Until then, Cheers!

Happy New Year!

Hoppin' John

Sauteed Kale

Long Grain Brown Rice

This New Year supper was absolutely delish.  We totally devoured it.  Hoppin' John is a southern dish with black-eyed peas, a bit of bacon, celery, onion, and flavored with bay leaves and thyme.  It is traditionally eaten on New Year's Day, as the black eyed -peas are supposed to bring luck and/or prosperity (depending on the source you read - but I'll take either!).  Greens are the typical side dish - these were sauteed in olive oil with plenty of garlic.  Add liberal amounts of hot sauce.

There's a bit leftover for Skippin' Jenny tomorrow!

New Year's Eve Dinner

Carrot Soup

with sherry & orange

Baby Romaine Green Salad 

with walnuts, cranberries
& tarragon vinaigrette

Paella

Filet with Bernaise Sauce

Potato and Fennel Gratin

Roasted Root Vegetables

Molten Chocolate Cake 

with vanilla ice cream & fresh raspberries

Perrier Jouet

A wonderful last-minute,  foodie "potluck" New Year's Eve dinner party for 6, including dear friends Nancy, John, Megan and Tony.  A perfect start to the year.

2010: Year in Review, Part 3 Dear Daughter and other Loved Ones

Dear Daughter Seriously, I sometimes think I think my wonderful, thoughtful, giving, deeply insightful, kind, innocent six year-old daughter doesn't deserves a mother as flawed as I am.  I am in awe of her miraculousness.  I'm not the most maternal of women.  I would not be mistaken for a martyr.  I do not have infinite patience, endless capacity (or even desire), to nurture, boundless energy, and constant cheer.  I savor and pursue my adult life, sometimes at her expense.  I'm far from a helicopter mom or even a doting one.  My fuse can be short; my attention divided.  I sometimes half-jokingly refer to my mothering as "benevolent neglect" - that I hope will foster independence, scrappiness, and a provide a good adult women role model.  Despite my "bad mom" persona, I do make sure she always knows she is loved, safe, and secure. So far, so good...knock wood.

Quite honestly - between you and me -

2010: Year in Review, Part 2 - Men, Love , Sex and Ex

Life's Big Buckets in 2010, part 2 of three - This part is a Biggie - bigger than it should be, I'd think.  But what is Life without  Love?

Men, Sex, and Love - Or some combination thereof...sometimes.  The biggest trial of all.  As usual.  My half-full glass and pragmatic romantic view prevails.  It was a good year.  There was progress, there were setbacks; but more progress than setbacks.

As we entered 2010, I was enjoying a romantic interlude with Hiking Viking.  We seemed to be navigating our complexities and individual needs, desires, and directions well.  We were even growing closer and more emotionally intimate with whispers of sweet nothings and love.  Perhaps this was the harbinger - we really didn't belong in that territory, as lovely as it was - because CRASH!- BANG! -BOOM! we had some deep uglies suddenly and immediately afterward.  Uglies that left me reeling and confused, though in hindsight, it was more likely a necessary course correction.  We managed a bit more in a gentle, kind, supportive friendship - two people who seemed to get each other...with benefits.  But nice, and even right, as this was, it was  not safe or comfortable territory for me.  I tried to feel my way around this zone...but CRASH! BANG!  BOOM! in one of these (perhaps misguided)  conversations, I encountered anger, blame, vitriol - hurling accusations and spewing resentment - and our friendship was mutually declared over.  I have never in my life declared a friendship over - I've grown apart (sometimes intentionally); I've created space;  I've lost time and priority in friendships that had mutually served its purpose.  But I have never actively severed a friendship.  It left me reeling and destabilized again.  Another area, as the year closes, where I have found myself destabilized and second-guessing myself, and my mojo shaken.  Enough bandwidth...onward and upward.

Vegitect is a big character in this year's screen play.  Springtime, and all is possible.  New, green design gigs and newfound legs underneath himself made him ripe for romance when we met.  Here is an awesome man....witty, sexy, creative, handsome, and international.  :-) We found ourselves and each other in shared a passion for creativity in its infinite forms, and in our individual resilience always manifesting from the core.  Our compatibility and chemistry was notable.  I sometimes long for the promise of April - venturing to Paris with friends, and getting sweet, funny international text messages on l'autobus and brilliant sketched postcards for my birthday. But I feared... no, I knew... that he was not ready for involvement, and I told him as much, while I carefully skirted emotional attachment. Hell, I was so fuckin' prescient, I even wrote into My Main Gal Hax about the issue on an online discussions in June, that was later published in the Washington Post in September.  And prescient indeed... timing and time is important.  And as time passed, the messiness and acrimony of his divorce became more apparent, and the reality of throwing his dreams, drive and financial stake into a start-up in a crap economy became all-consuming.  It was a shit-storm in which I could not get sucked into the vortex, nor toss the life ring from the edge.  I have had my own shit-storm, and as recently emergent, I can say that life's personal shit-storms are best weathered independently.  But here and now, Dear Vegitect, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wit; your bizarre and endearing sense of irony; for sitting on my porch on early summer evenings talking with a bottle of chilled Spanish Cava or with sparklers in hand; for your photos, sketches, and sexy texts; for a well-planned mystery picnic; for teaching me the secrets of a perfectly fragrant and delicious daal; for the flowers; and for your continued friendship.  XO.

And while a few other minor characters made cameo appearances as love interests - one in particular that was not to be - it was a most of all a year of love and learning. And my learning has essentially led me to believe that it is timing that is mostly determinant, and that it takes time to see if love will stick among the competing vicissitudes.  And for the moment, I'm taking a chosen break, but surely not forever.

Irony  This was the year that I learned that Dear ex-Husband re-married.  I learned it on Facebook.  Two years after the fact.  This may well be my most mortifying and humbling moment.  I was enraged!  Anger and fury that I rarely feel, let alone express...but I did both to the fullest.  It felt amazing. But I know the source of my anger is also my disappointment, my sense of betrayal, and my sadness.  He and his wife are now expecting a baby any week now. And Dear Daughter suffers at the hands of an evil stepmother - it is not a cliche; she is a character study of immaturity, insecurity and passive-aggression. And Dear ex-Husband continues to make bad decisions that only spiral him downward, and his charm cannot save him anymore.  And the only good thing to come out of all his 2010 shenanigans is that I am freed of the horrible guilt and self-flaggelation for our failed marriage that I inflicted upon myself daily .    Did I make mistakes?  Yes.  Will I do things differently with my next partner/husband from the insight I have gained into (un)healthy, (dys)functional love and partnership?  Indeed, I fervently hope so.   Do I share the responsibility for our failure?  I do.  But I no longer blame myself.  There is nothing I could have done differently to save our marriage - as much as I tried and wished.  His latest antics are only proof that he could not and did not show up.  Not for me, and sadly, these days I worry, not even for himself.  And with all his hooey, I'm clearly, markedly, definitively better off without him.

2010: Year in Review, Part 1 - Work and Wealth

Overall, I'd declare this year Good overall, but most notably a year of Improvement and Progress.  :-)  For once, "most improved"doesn't feel like a consolation prize, but a hard-won, much-cherished feat.  The series of tragedies and bad news of years past have ebbed.  It was a welcome reprieve, and interestingly I noticed and appreciated the absence of constant losses and unheavals.  How often do we notice and appreciate that "nothing bad is happening" and therefore I am grateful?  Of course, I am grateful for the many good fortunes in my life this past year, and humbled by the setbacks.  Rather than a chronological review, this year I will examine Life's Big Buckets, and how each one fared.  This is a blog post in three parts (and some parts are a work in progress, as I continue to edit bit by bit).

Work - My job is demanding and stressful. At times, it can totally suck the life out of me.  For the better part of this year however, it sustained me and fulfilled me.  My boss, our CEO, announced her planned departure for early 2011, and this had some wonderful outcomes.  It was a great relief to know that a huge stressing, anxiety-producer will be releasing its grip.  Also, perhaps her own knowledge of her transition took some burden off her as well, because our relationship eased and became more trusting and respectful (for the most part).  Also, my ego was boosted, as both several members of our board and our funders saw me as a viable candidate to take on her role....but I am both smart and sane, and announced I would not be applying.  It was terrific to have the best of all worlds - good enough to do it, smart enough not to!

Take that NYTimes!

As much as I LOVE the NYTimes, this highly insulting article is totally dismissive of the DC, specifically Capitol Hill, dining scene.  It pretty much says that every recent restaurant opening up on the Hill is some version of junk food for simpletons!  I won't take it!

But this blogger from my local blogsite,The Hill is Home, says it best, New York Also Thinks DC Looks Fat In Those Pants!

Social Science Palooza

Weird science!  I'm WAY behind on my writing - but this cool article by NYTimes columnist, David Brooks, summarizes the (bizarre) results of recent social science research.

People are strange and complicated creatures.  At least that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it!