Still kickin'

Oui, oui..I'm still here, and all is well.  Life is good, in fact...very good.

1.  In the most significant change, I have a new boss.  She is phenomenal - so good, and so different from my last years of difficult boss relations, it's like having a new job.  My daily stress and tension are gone.  People say my face is more relaxed.  When I took my swim the other day, I had nothing - that's right nothing to work through.  I've learned so much from her in just over a month, and I'm glad I stuck it out, just to have the chance to have a new model, a new mentor - way more akin to my natural style.  We travelled together in Guatemala for 5 days - that's a lot of travel time - and still I have nothing but respect.  I think she's so cool, in fact, I'm a little afraid that I will consciously or sub-consciously go out and buy her same watch, her same shoes, her same notebook...and that might be a little creepy.  We actually are eerily similar already in terms of taste and mannerisms.

The rest is not change, as much as a nice lot of good stuff.

2.  I'm swimming regularly again, after along stretch of sick and tired...or busy...or traveling.  My swims are wonderful.

3.  I have great friends, and lately, I've gotten to see them more regularly.  We go out for drinks, for dinner, for walks...and each time, I leave with a sense of contentment.  On a not-so-content note, two of these friends will soon no longer be part of my DC fabric.  Dear Friend A accepted a government contract, and will soon ship overseas.  Dear Friend M is preparing to move to Bangkok.  Over the last few years, I've lost quite a few good friends from my daily local life.  First, C and family moved to Tanzania, where they have rooted - even had their third child - over the last two years.  And of course, great friend L moved first to Beijing, then to Paris.  Oh, how I miss their presence in my life.  I have, however, met my first new, real friend in years.  This friend M and I hang out, and chit-chat for hours.  And while we're both busy as professional, working, and more-or-less single moms - it almost makes  pursuing a friendship in hectic times easier, or at least more forgiving.

4.  My daughter is healthy, thriving, growing and so cool.  Not only is she great...but there is no new school for several years on the horizon, no new childcare plans, and we are not moving houses anytime soon.

5.  It's spring, and I love, love, love cherry blossoms.  I'm so not immune to their potion-spinning gorgeousness.

And so it goes...I'm lucky, and happy, and at peace....and I appreciate even this patch of smooth air.

(Practically) free to a good home

On Saturday, we held a yard sale.  It was a brisk, early spring morning - a bit too early spring for a yard sale, and a bit too early morning for me, but the urge to de-clutter Right Now cannot be denied, and no other free weekend presented itself anytime soon.  It wasn't about the money or the stuff.  It was mostly about getting the stuff out to people who will enjoy it for a while, and throwing in a little lesson for Dear Daughter about entrepreneurship and counting change.  The morning yielded a bit over $100, and a whole lot less stuff - the rest went to Good Will this morning.  Yard sales are a win-win.  I'm free of stuff and clutter. I feel so enterprising. And most of all, some nice new and people now have my treasures in their good homes.

There was the Early Bird mom who got here around 8:30.  From Utah, she and family are staying temporarily on Capitol Hill in a furnished, but lacking-in-character, home.  Presumably on a Mormon mission, she said she had kids of "varying ages."  The Early Bird did indeed get the worm...errrr...some of the best goods -  a kids dominoes set and a memory game, a clock puzzle, a doctor kit, and some books.

A young woman and her Spaniard boyfriend in his Real Madrid shirt purchased a set of four crisp white porcelain cups and saucers in which I imagine they will enjoy some  strong coffee on late weekend afternoons. A young Urban Greenster couple biked over - she sporting her "Stop Greed" pin on her tweed-y jacket - bought four russet-colored woven placemats, four cloth napkins in tones of green and brown, and an ecru-colored pottery serving bowl with a deep blue abstract bird design.  A gorgeous combination! -  wish I had thought of it myself -  and sure to be a hit at their next vegetarian potluck dinner party.

Two African-American women in their 50's came to admire my collections of African textiles - batik-ed table cloths, woven mats, brightly printed cloth, and gauzy scarves.  They bought almost all of it plus an ugly mint-green bathroom rug -  and since they came late in the morning, they filled several bags of such treasure for $10.

Another young couple arrived on their bikes.  He had a scraggly reddish beard and olive green jacket, and asked me about my Peace Corps days.  She told me she was of Vietnamese descent, and bought a children's book in English and Vietnamese about a frog and an umbrella - she said it was "for someday."  They are just at the beginning of their couplehood.  They also bought three African cookbooks - that frankly have a lot of repeat recipes, and from which I've cooked less than a handful of meals over two handfuls of years.  I hope those books get some cook-stained memories at last.

An older African-American man, his feet swollen from diabetes or hypertension, shuffled off with my swivel office chair that lost its back a few months ago.  While a white-haired white guy, bought my Africa tome - historical and political essays.  I asked for a dollar, but he gave me two.

A few other people bought a few other things, each one sauntering off with her find..."at such a good price." And I'm doing some sauntering myself - a little richer, a little less encumbered, and very pleased that some of my good stuff found good homes.

Sex Ed

I'm not that much in the mood to write, but this is Important (and important to me)...

Last night's Glee episode (like most TV, I just read about it the next day, and then watch selected clips on the Internet) was the Sex Episode.  High school angst, high school sex - from sex education class to the Abstinence Club and the Gay-Straight Alliance, both found in today's high schools - but it's still the same old-fashioned, age-old teen angst.  And parents matter...a lot.  Perhaps the most touching, most compelling, most reach-inside-and-touch-your-soul scene was when Kurt, gay teen, and his dad have The Talk.

Wow...I hope you viewed that link.  I strongly believe in having comprehensive sex education in schools.  And I strongly believe that good (or bad) parenting makes the greatest difference in kids lives.  And somehow, this scene demonstrates all that for me.

I LOVE sex.  It feels so GOOD.  It's SO fun.  It's so easy.  But it's big, and it's more than all that.  There are health risks - some lasting.  And there are life-altering consequences, like pregnancy.  And these are wonderfully prevented and mitigated by birth control, condoms, and bit of honest discussion and some negotiation.  But at its best, and at its worse, it's about connection (or lack of it) and vulnerability (despite the fact that an orgasm can make you feel utterly invincible).  It's what it is to you, but also what it is to the other person - and figuring that out somehow for both of you, honestly.  And yes, sex does something to you - "..to your heart.  To your self-esteem...So don't throw yourself around like you don't matter.  Because you do matter"

No sentiment more true and more beautiful, about something so true, so beautiful.

Mommy Track

I am a working mom to a wonderful 6 year-old daughter.  My job is demanding - in responsibility, in scope, and in hours.  My typical business trips are to New York, London, Mumbai, South Africa, Geneva, and Silicon Valley.  I often work with heavy hitters from the business, non-profit, and philanthropy sectors.  You might recognize some of their names - they appear in some of your major media outlets, or at the very least are highly Google-able.  I absolutely love my work.

But recently, I think I have come face-to-face with the limits of my ambition.  Travel is not nearly as attractive as it once was.  I am equally tempted by staying home.  In the last few weeks, I've been approached by some executive search firms for a few stunning opportunities.  One, in particular, based in London, was especially tempting.  But after a lovely lunch and talk with Dear Headhunter, I decided not to pursue it.  No one is more shocked than I am.  I have always, always wanted to live and work in Europe.  This job, in particular, was a dream. But ultimately, I realized, I do not want to travel more, or work longer hours, or be farther away from my family and support network of friends and routines.  Most of all, I did not want to give up precious time with my daughter or outsource my Mom responsibilities anymore than I already do.  I've Mommy-Tracked myself.

It's an unusual Mommy Track, to be sure.  I have not quit my job to stay at home (I couldn't anyway - no one else around here makes an income).  I did not cut back on my hours or shift positions.  I remain a pretty plugged-in, high-powered, intense-as-ever professional - and I intend to keep it that way.  I still have goals and dreams, including somehow, one day to perhaps live again in a great European city, even for a short time.  But at this time, these hopes, dreams, and ambitions have run smack into to my desire to be a mom - and recently, right here, for now, perhaps forever -  I chose the Mommy Track.