New York for Marriage Equality

A Marriage Equality vote is going to the State Senate soon - likely next week - as they try to catch up with DC's enlightened ways.  It's close, but it looks like it's just one vote away from passing, and that Senator remains undecided.  And in getting to that threshold, recently, Republican State Senator, Roy McDonald crossed party lines to state he planned to vote for it.   He was quoted as saying:

"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing.

"You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, f**k it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing."  

Way to go, Mc Donald.  Here's to evolving.  Her's to not seeing life in black and white.  Here's to doing the right thing.  And while, I'm at it, here's to TMZ.com, the celebrity gossip site for covering it and standing on the side of love.

I [HEART] Carolyn Hax

Another favorite columnist - this one from the Washington Post - Carolyn Hax is an advice columnist for Real Life.  Here is today's column on marriage - it's the counterargument to the marriage cynic, without being all rosy about it.

Scenes from a marriage

This article, Seeking to Pre-empt Marital Strife, reminded me at some futile attempts that Dear ex-Husband and I made to save ourselves and our marriage as we/it floundered.  We made three single attempts

At the first try, just over two years married, things had been really difficult between us for a long, long time.  I was very  pregnant (happily and intentionally) and desperate, and I begged DxH to go with me to counseling.  I knew we were in trouble, and knew having a child - any day now! - would change things forever, and likely add to our stress and tensions.  He reluctantly agreed, but we could not set up the first appointment until a few days past my due date.  It was a pretty good session, though we knew we wouldn't be able to go back again soon thereafter with our impending parenthood.  I went into labor about an hour after that very first marriage counseling session.  Later, I remember thinking Dear Daughter was smart enough not to come out until it was safe to do so.   I also remember thinking, "You know your marriage is in trouble when ______________." We made it another two years...barely.

In another pass, a year or so later, we drove out to Bethesda somewhere, and sat across from each other in two armchairs, hands on laps, facing each other.  This counselor encouraged us to talk to each other with her prompted questions.  It felt like reading from a script, and we were two really bad actors.  It didn't help.

The last time, right before/right after we separated (now 4 years ago), we tried a last ditch attempt to salvage things.   This time, DxH and I had such a ridiculously awful counselor, we went out for a Thai lunch afterward just so we could make fun of her whack sh*t!  The brief bonding alone probably made the session worth it.  Alas, it was way too late, though - sadly - I think we were actually doomed from the beginning.

Stand on the Side of Love (5)

Today a historic wedding took place at All Souls Church!

Stand on the Side of Love (4)

It may be cloudy, raining, damp, and cold, but...

Today is a beautiful day here in Washington, DC!

Postcard from Wisteria Lane

Having a blast with Bree, Edie, Gabby, Susan, and Lynette!  The kids grow up so fast - hard to believe!  Learned that Dear ex-Husband has been re-married for 2 years, and neglected to tell me.  Seems DxH did it before our divorce was final.  Found out through Facebook - what a small world!  Wish  you were here...
Xox, V