"It Gets Better"...Bullying, hate, privacy, the Internet and hope in the 21st Century

I am utterly sickened by the news that a 18yo, freshman college student and musician, Tyler Clementi, took his own life by jumping off the George Washington bridge after his idiot roommate webcammed and webcast his intimate encounters with another man.  It seems that roommate, Dharun Ravi, and another classmate, Molly Wei, got their kicks from capturing, streaming, and broadcasting Clementi's personal, private, sexual life without permission.  And Clementi, ultimately decided that the mortification was too much too handle, and well, jumped...

Ravi and Wei's thoughtless act clearly illustrates blatant bullying, extreme homophobia, and a tremendous violation of privacy rights.  Many want to prosecute their act as a hate crime - and while I realize this is likely a strong interpretation of the laws - I can't help but believe their utter disregard for another being's dignity led to his suicide.  And yes, they should be fully prosecuted, punished, and suffer long and hard for their heinous behaviors. Some say they are young, and naive...but at what time, if ever, are young people accountable for basic respect and civility of other human beings?  They are of age, after all.

I suppose I'm equally troubled by the technology of webcam's remote surveillance and  the World. Wide.Web. streaming that allows this to happen so easily; the erosion of privacy in today's society (I, too have given over my privacy in this social networked world; though I have profound respect for the right to privacy, and the critical ability of one to have agency over one's own privacy); and the magnitude of web posting in perpetuity.  This is the profoundly evil side of of the advancements of social networks and digital technology.

Ironically, this suicide happened on the second day of Rutgers University campaign "Project Civility" which would "involve panel discussions, lectures, workshops and other events to raise awareness about the importance of respect, compassion and courtesy in everyday interactions.  Events scheduled for this fall include a workshop for students and administrators on residential life on campus and a panel discussion titled 'Uncivil Gadgets? Changing Technologies and Civil Behavior.'"

Sadly, this bigoted, technology-enabled behavior is not limited to young college students.  It is also  an affliction of our public servants.

Michelle Rhee - Rant and Rave (my 25 cents)

Alas, my mayoral candidate, Adrain Fenty, did not win the primary last week, so it is looking more and more likely that his hand-picked, school reform champion and My Hero, Michelle Rhee, will not remain the Chancellor of the District of Columbia Public Schools.  At least that what it looks like here after Rhee and likely mayor-elect Vince Gray met yesterday. (Photo cribbed from the Internet)

As a mom to a child in the DC public schools, I'm pretty discouraged.  Rhee has been a reformer in the true sense of the word, bringing in sweeping and widespread change.  And while I'm usually not much of a radical - I believe that change is generally incremental and requires process - when the situation is as dire as it was when she arrived on the scene, there is no other choice in the matter than to be monomaniacal (City Paper's word - but I love it - check out their other endorsements for the primary, a total hoot!). Seriously, DCPS was an utterly failing system - poor performance, ineffective teachers, crumbling infrastructure, and a systems failure on everything from the timely delivery of textbooks to the opening of schools on time.  And yet somehow, in America, in Washington, DC (our Nation's Capital) that had become good enough.  Good enough for public school, good enough for urban schools, good enough for poor people, good enough for blacks.  Sorry, but that status quo is just plain unacceptable.  

Rhee didn't have the time nor the charge to fix things with finesse and pretty dancing - she needed to make tough, hardcore decisions - and frankly she had results to show for it.  Enrollment stabilized and went up for the first time in years.  Test performance improved.  Infrastructure improvement and schools modernization was plain staggering.  And she took a stand against ineffective teachers - she fired them!  hundreds of them! at a time!  Ouch, ok, that's harsh, and hard, and it did not win her many fans...except people like me who sort of sat there stunned, thinking, "Wow, she's brave...and I'm scared shitless of her."

Woohoo! Capital BikeShare, Washington, DC

It's finally here!  Capital BikeShare launched in DC on Monday!  This officially makes DC one of the coolest (and underrated) cities in the US.  It's not Seattle (coffee city), Portland (alt-hip city), San Francisco (gorgeous, hilly city), Boston (university city), New York (city of all cities)...but it is doing pretty well, and damn it, no one knows!

Capital BikeShare is one of the largest bike share programs in the country, and the only regional one (serving both DC and Arlington, Virginia).  It has 1100 bikes and 110 bike stations, spread across all 8 wards of the District, and into Crystal City, VA.  Fantastic!  If you're not familiar with Capital BikeShare, then perhaps you know Velib (Paris), Bixi (Montreal), Bici (Barcelona), and Barclay's Cycle Hire (London).  And if you don't know those, then think of Zipcar, only for bikes.

Essentially a fleet of bikes is available for member (or day) hire anytime and anywhere.  The system encourages short rides to keep the bikes in circulation - so for members (or day users), the first 30 minutes is free, with low, but increasing, fees for 30+ minutes.  I paid $50 for a year membership, and expect to take full advantage of the network of bike stations near my home, work and social hubs (Dupont, H Street NE, and Capitol Hill).

I took my first ride yesterday - from my doctor's appointment (using the nearest bike station at Dupont & Massachusetts NW) to my work (using the station at 14 & Rhode Island NW).  So, how'd it go? In a single word, GREAT!  In a few more words...

Top 10 Reasons I Haven't Blogged Lately...

1. I've been busy writing strategy memos for work - about 1-2 per week - and it's sucking up all my writing bandwidth.
2. I'm tired in the evening, making me incoherent and inarticulate.
3. I'm not particularly inspired these days.
4. When I am inspired, it's at the wrong time, and I lose the occasion to blog.
5. I'm confused - not all in a bad way - and so my thoughts are coming out all jumbled. 
6. My blog has lost some of its anonymity, so to protect the innocent....
7. My own version of ADD is acting up...I am easily distracted these days.
8. I'm busy -  booked with some obligation or other from 6:45 in the morning to 9:00 in the evening.
9. The few waking hours not booked, are reserved for chilling and doing nothing, so my poor brain can get a break.
10. I'm not really sure where this blog is going.

Sigh...oh well...in general, this is an immensely therapeutic and creative outlet for me, so hope to get back soon!

Sex Bomb, Mom, and Senior Strategist

Work has been intense lately.  A good intense, I guess, as I'm working on stuff that really excites me.  But also draining.  I have very little energy left each day to write or laugh.  Or do other things that make me a healthy, happy me.  On days like this, I long for simplicity.  I long for an end to the requests and demands.  A day of quiet.  A day of solitude.  A day without worries.

I took a swim this morning, as part of the Sanity Plan.  I've had so little time for this critical activity that keeps my stress down, my thoughts worked through and put away.  It worked.  I left for work this morning with energy and sass.  I bounded up escalator steps.  What?!?!  Bounded?!?  Up??!?! The escalator?  To go to work?

My energy lasted until around noon, and then the day wore me down in the way it has these last few weeks.  By the end of the day, I was frayed.  Tightly wound.  Completely wrung-out.

And now, I'm still frayed.  And tired.  And not just physically tired.  Or mentally tired.  But tired of this stupid treadmill.  Burned out from the slog.  Tired, perhaps, of being all things to all people.  Sex Bomb, Mom & Senior Strategist.  Tired of taking care of everyone.  I try to take care of myself - and sometimes I succeed, but lately, it's been hard (Bummer, for real.  I was getting so good at it!)

And sometimes, I want someone else to take care of it all.  Or at least just share the load.  And every once in a while take care of me...."Honey, what do you need?"  Or better yet, "I did this for you."  And I want to cry (like I am now) and lean in, lean against him and just sob for a few minutes.  "I'm tired," I'd say.  "It's not that easy."