Tax rant (not what you might expect of a tax rant)

I really don't have a problem with taxes, and I don't really understand what all the fuss is about.  Recently I've been thinking about what I pay and what I get, and I'm sure I must be net positive on my quality of life return.  So here's the analysis for demonstration's sake  - rough and oversimplified, that digresses on a number of topics, and ends up an absolute rant.  I really hope I have a teabagger
reader.  :-)

Xmas 2009

I don't know why it's so, but it seems that Xmas always ends with a empty thud.  It seems it's par for the course for so many.  Sure, the food, delicious; the presents, just right; the laughter, joy, excitement and wonder of beautiful G  to be cherished; twinkling lights, Divine; and lots of singing, off key  (Fa-la-la, La-la-la, La-la-la).

But I'm tired, and I'm relieved it's over (the anticipation always being better than the actual thing), and I feel  half-empty (instead of my usual half-full :-), distanced from my family, and unconnected.

I desperately need to get outside.  Get uncluttered.  Take a swim.  Reclaim myself. Detoxify.   Tomorrow, JS - I'm happy about that, but a little nervous.  I hope it's good.

Menu: Boxing Day 2009 (with JS :-)

First

Pumplin ravioli with sage butter

Second

Filet

Mesclun greens with walnuts and blue cheese

Afters

Traditional Christmas pudding

Vanilla ice cream

Champagne

A Nice Red

Kisses

xoxoxo

Books: Loving Frank by Nancy Horan

This one was just annoying.

I just hated both Frank Lloyd Wright and his mistress, Mameh Borthwick.  FLW is a narcissistic, selfish, manipulative, controlling ass.  And for all her talk of her awakening feminism, Mameh is weak, naive, innocent, and utterly misguided in her interpretation of it.  This feminism just bit her on the butt.  She is not in a healthy relationship at all, but rather used and acquiescent.  And in many ways, she was misguided and selfish taking for granted her husband, children and sister.  I'm not for staying in an adequate, but stifling marriage, but her treatment of her devoted, loving, patient husband Ed Cheney, in finding herself (ok, fine) was just utterly unfair to another human being.  And I certainly don't sanctify motherhood (far from it), but she walked away from her obligations and responsibilities of her children, John and Martha.  They are innocent, and she simply left them hanging.  She used and took advantage of her sister, Lizzie, who sacrificed her own life to support her sister's indulgences and raise her kids.  I don't believe one can be taken advantage of without consent at a certain point, so shame on Lizzie!  But she did step up, when Mameh stepped out, and I put the blame squarely on Mameh.

And sadly FLW is spoiled for me.  I have always admired his architecture, and appreciate that he re-defined the field, and maybe even defined/put on the map contemporary American architecture in the first place.  I suppose I can detach his art, and still appreciate it.  But that notion of the  untouchable, unaccountable creative genius is just far too much to take.  And his money problems, screwing everybody over so he could settle for no less than tailored Italian suits, is just utterly vexing.

I suppose to get so riled up about a book, means I actually did enjoy it.  But I'm not so sure.  I found it overly sentimental.  At times, I felt like Horan was portraying this as a great, but ill-fated love affair, and romanticizing and idolizing their love.  Perhaps not, because she did not blindly describe the missteps and remorse.  To be honest, I couldn't tell.

Two stars (of 4) - because it captured my attention and wrapped me up in the characters' lives, as well as introduced me to a facet of FLW I never knew.  Not more, because at times it was just cloying.

Menu: Christmas Day Breakfast 2009

Santa Arrives

Coffee

Main meal

 Baked challah french toast with strawberry sauce 

Country-style sausage links

Fresh-squeezed orange and grapefruit juices

Coffee 
Tea 

Menu: Christmas Eve 2009

Appetizers

Broiled scallops & bacon

Broiled dates & bacon

Parrano cheese with fig jam

Baguette rounds

Crudite assortment with coarse kosher salt

Olives

Nuts

Chilled Prosecco

Gifts

Main meal

Prime rib roast with horseradish sauce

Roasted potatoes

Yorkshire pudding

Green beans almondine

Cabernet Sauvignon

Buche de Noel

Chocolate truffles

Coffee

Peppermint tea

2009: Year in Review (3)

[Dear Reader, Please scroll/jump to the 1st and 2nd installment.  I'm writing chronologically; you are reading in reverse]

Fall, at last!  Usually, this is a good time for me, as I'm perpetually on a back-to-school cycle, and I hate DC heat.  Swimming fell by the wayside, which was a bummer, and had its effect on me.  I suffered with a chronic cough, swine flu, swimmer's ear, and constant jet leg and fatigue from travel (California, Toronto, San Antonio, California (x2), and India).  Still, there was a general upward trend, as my sickness and ills waned, I swam a bit, spent more time at home, and started spending time with Hiking Viking (who I think with this post, will be henceforth referred to by his first name, Jan).

Let's start with him...

Snow!

Snow!  These days weather seems so warped - at least from my nostalgic memories of childhood.  And we haven't had a good snow in such a long time.  But a storm blows from the south - with winter weather forecasted from this evening through Sunday morning.  Maybe 6-12 inches!!  Haven't heard that in a while!  I'm not much for sensationalized, exaggerated forecasts.  In fact, I think they get people all wound up over nothing (and then we are inured when a weather event does actually happen).  But I think this one could be a good one!! (Note to self - must get gas and cash).

A few more thoughts on this particular snowstorm. 

Stand on the Side of Love (3)

Woo hoo!

Dear Friends,

I've just been informed that the Mayor has chosen All Souls Church as the venue for tomorrow's signing of DC's Marriage Equality Bill.  It is both an honor and a privilege for our church to host such an historic event, and it is testament to the hard work that so many in our congregation have devoted to the passage of this bill.

The bill signing is open to the public, so you are all welcome to attend.  It will take place at 10:45 am in the Sanctuary.

In fact, we invite you to come early, put on a "Standing on the Side of Love" t-shirt, and proudly welcome people to your church.

Love,
ROB

Feeling something ominous....oh sh*t

This time I hope my finely-tuned gut check is extra sensitive, and I won't self-sabotage by calling an unnecessary fire drill.

2009: The Year in Review (2)

[Dear reader, I’m writing my year in review chronologically, but if you are just arriving, you’re reading it in reverse chronological order. If you want to get the full picture, I recommend you scroll/jump down to the 1st entry.]

Summertime. I began to feel some stabilization. Life was now going to continue as it was, with Laz in the military; Grace in a good public school; reliable childcare; and work in autopilot. Many times, I felt my nerves frayed and my fuse short, but I was swimming twice a week, and that was doing wonders.

I began this swimming routine in 2009, specifically to clear my f-ing head, and it did do that. When I was at my wit’s end, a swim could clear the noise and set me straight. Ideally, I’d get this daily or 3-4x/week, but 2x/week was realistic, and I’m all about what’s “good enough,” not "ideal" these days.

2009: The Year in Review (1)

2009 was a year.  I can not be more understated.  As the year closes, I guess my conclusion would be that it was a flat - back to baseline; at best, achieving a small uptick.  But considering 2009 started deep in the negative, and continued that trend for a few months at least, that’s damn good news.

As the year began on the heels of a trying 2008, I put stock in the global sea change that I hoped would project on my own personal sphere of influence.  I was excited, thrilled even, at the reality of Barack Obama becoming President (and still am!).  It felt like a new beginning, and hopefully a turnaround that would translate into my personal life as well.  (Funny, how I (like many others) expected  for that to work out.)

Unstuck

Sometimes it feels like things are stuck, no movement, no momentum, no traction.  Some things got unstuck today, and I'm happy about that.  I had a little of work energy today - after a long stretch of being uninspired, unmotivated, and unengaged - so perhaps the little bit of my input got some return.

In any case, I'm happy that:

Stand on the Side of Love (2)

I could post the news link from the Washington Post, but it is more meaningful to me to share this from the point of view of my church, All Souls Unitarian, and its amazing pastor, Rev. Rob Hardies.

Dear Friends, Just moments ago, the DC Council took an historic stand for love. By an 11-2 margin, Council Members voted to legalize marriage for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender citizens. Marriage equality is coming to the nation's capital! It was thrilling to be present in the Council chambers as history was being made. When the vote was announced, people shouted and wept for joy. Friends, this is what it feels like to stand on the side of love. I am so heartened by the role our congregation has played in this important human rights struggle. All Souls members and ministers took a leading role in founding a coalition of nearly 200 DC clergy who supported the bill. We contributed money, marched on the Mall, called our Council Members, and talked with our neighbors. We helped change hearts and minds. And not only have we secured passage of the bill, we have changed the national debate on marriage equality. We've shown that this issue can unite communities rather than divide them. People of all ages, races, creeds and cultures can stand together on the side of love. I want to thank all of you for helping make this day possible. Of course, the struggle for marriage equality in DC is not over yet. After Mayor Adrian Fenty signs the bill, the United States Congress has 30 legislative days to veto it. We hope that Congress will respect the sovereignty of the elected leaders of the District of Columbia and allow this bill to become law. When it does, then we will know the real reason we've labored so hard. Then, every loving couple in our congregation will be equal not only in God's eyes, but in the eyes of the state. Thank you again. Love, ROB

The NYT 2009 Year in Ideas

I have always loved this annual feature of the NY Times Magazine.  I'm somewhat of a NY Times junkie.  What I enjoy about this is the concepts of forward-thinking, out-of-the-box ideas, that may define our future (or not) -  what seems absurd, might not actually be so....or so absurd, it's brilliant.  Time will tell.  I especially love the intersections of design and technology.  Check out Bicycle Highways, Manmade Greenery, and the Cul de Sac Ban..  Lots of 'i' words come to mind - ideas, innovation, inspiration, illumination.  It jazzes me.

And every year, the end page of the ideas issue shows some cool - and questionable - patents awarded that year.  This is always good for a little chuckle.  I particularity like the graphic presentation here.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish...

Since the beginning of the year I have been swimming. Remarkably, it is something that I have stuck to to great effect (and my great amazement).

First, I should note that I *hate* exercising, I loathe gyms, and I can't play many sports.  I like to walk, dance (a dance class is great!), practice yoga, cycle here and there, hike/walk in the woods, and swim.  In general, I'd like to think my physical activity is integrated to my life, but not sure if that would pass muster.

So, at the beginning of the year, full of stress and anxiety, and with a very short fuse, I knew something had to give, and I probably needed to work through it with exercise.  It was so bad, I almost joined a gym, but knew myself well enough to know that I would ultimately fail at that, and not only fail for not working out regularly enough, with "adequate" intensity or frequency, but also because I was just wasting my money.  A double whammy, and certain to just demoralize me further.  Biking?  Not sure I'd actually get the bike out of the shed often enough.  And dance classes were just too confining with a specific class on a specific day at a specific hour.  A no-go.  I even thought of taking up running  - clearly, I was desperate. 

I realized that there was a renovated public pool in my neighborhood - totally free to DC residents.  I wouldn't be wasting money, but actually being virtuous anytime I'd go.  Plus I couldn't fail at *not*spending money should I not work out.  As mentioned, it's sticking, and here's why I think so:

Distance meme (just because)

With thanks to Hiking Viking for this meme...

Farthest North? - Stockholm, Sweden.  It was on June 21, no less, a gorgeous light-filled night.  The Swedes were out and about and quite joyful.  I remember visiting several homes and offices, and thinking that Ikea *really* is Swedish.  There were lots of Volvo's and Saab's on the road.

Farthest South? - Cape of Good Hope, South Africa.  A lovely national park extends along the point; the Indian and the Atlantic Oceans meet and mix.  That day, I saw two whales breaching in one of the bays/coves along the coast. 

Farthest East? - Beijing, China.  What can I say?  It blew my mind.  It was quite the cosmopolitan city.  I was not quite prepared for it to be another New York or London (tho' far less charming).  I expected more of a Mumbai, and it most certainly was not.  G, in all her profundity, made the best observation of all, "Mama, it doesn't look like China, it looks like New York, except for the people.  The people look like China."

Farthest West? - Honolulu, HI.  Even though I was a teenager, I barely remember it.  I was struck by how far away it is.  That, and the price of Corn Flakes.  Everyone goes to work early, to be in touch with the mainland - but beachbound by afternoon.  It was so long ago, that working my more recent memory, my first inclination was to put Portland, OR

Highest Mountain -  Seen - Mt. Kilimanjaro (and will climb in 2020! - my 50th b-day; and G's 16th); Climbed?  Not sure, but I'm quite sure it wasn't a name-brand peak. 

Hottest Place - I'm sure I've been in triple digits somewhere in the Sahel - Niger, Mali, Burkina Faso - but dry heat is fine by me.  Absolutely most god-awful hot was in Dar Es Salaam, TZ - dreadful, hot, humidity, a drippy face. No doubt though, and no exaggeration, I've been equally hot in DC

Coldest Place - Probably South Hadley, MA where I went to college - I recall biting, bone-chilling New England winters, and my first frozen lake.

Personal Notes: I've been to 42 countries on 4 continents; never to South America, Australia, or Antarctica :-)  I've lived (more than a month in one place) in France, Switzerland, Senegal, Cote d'Ivoire, Tanzania, Guatemala, and the US.  I've been to 23 states, I think.  I'm tired of traveling - not done with it - just a bit weary; I'd never complain about it and I'd be miserable if forced to stop traveling.  Airline travel has become a punishment.

The Girl Effect

I love this!

In her backpack...Every Girl's Everyday Empowerment Kit

From GFC blog...


Delhi, India - In our World Café session today at the GGI (Grassroots Girls Initiative)/GFC Knowledge Exchange, small groups discussed various issues relating to improving the lives of adolescent girls. My group discussed the skills and tools necessary for adolescent girls to be able to transform their lives. The notion of agency, or self-direction, is critical to this goal. In early discussion, the key elements of this type of empowerment were easily identified: education; economic empowerment; life skills (such as decision making, self-awareness, and self-confidence); reproductive health information, knowledge, services, and supplies; independent mobility; and knowledge of rights.


Additionally, a social network of peers and “navigators” provides a needed source for support, security, and nurturing, while also mitigating the isolation too often encountered by girls of low social status in their families and communities—such as child brides, girls in domestic work, out-of school girls, rural girls, and young mothers. In this context, my colleagues and I also discussed the importance of role models and mentors to provide vision and a sense of possibility. In all settings, but especially in culturally or socially restrictive environments, supporters and champions are equally necessary, providing a safety net so the girls know that “someone’s got their back.”

As the conversation progressed, we felt we were becoming stuck in generalities and not breaking new ground. What if we could actually equip a girl for her everyday empowerment? What if we could give her a backpack (a symbol of free mobility) filled with the necessary tools that could help her direct the course of—indeed, transform!—her own life? Here’s what we came up with in a conversation that was inspired, impassioned, and full of laughter:

In her backpack:

•  Cell phone (for social networking, calling her mentor, and even banking(!))
• Some money of her own
• A map, a compass, or a GPS!
• Toilet kit (some tissues and some sanitary napkins – her dignity)
• ID card (a birth certificate, some documentation of her identity)
• A good book
• A condom (or, in an ideal world, a female condom or some microbicide)
• Pocket-sized directory of women’s organizations and community resources
• Pocket-sized copy of the International Declaration of Human Rights and/or Convention on the Rights of the Child (armed with information!)
• Bottle of clean drinking water
• Change of clothes (you never know…)
• Self-defense tool (hot pepper spray or maybe some martial arts skills!)
• Some good tunes (music gives confidence!)

He brought me pickles :-)

The very sweet and attentive Hiking Viking remembered a conversation we had about Things French, my love of good food, and petit American pickles being too sweet to qualify as the French ones.  So he bought me some cornichons!!  Awwww...

Stand on the Side of Love

DC Council gets it right!  I think marriage equality is one of the most important issues of our time.  Various state referendums indicate that gay marriage can't win a popular vote, which leaves me incredulous (tho' I suppose it shouldn't).  I'm a romantic optimist here, albeit an impatient and pragmatic one, that one day love will prevail.