2010: Year in Review, Part 3 Dear Daughter and other Loved Ones

Dear Daughter Seriously, I sometimes think I think my wonderful, thoughtful, giving, deeply insightful, kind, innocent six year-old daughter doesn't deserves a mother as flawed as I am.  I am in awe of her miraculousness.  I'm not the most maternal of women.  I would not be mistaken for a martyr.  I do not have infinite patience, endless capacity (or even desire), to nurture, boundless energy, and constant cheer.  I savor and pursue my adult life, sometimes at her expense.  I'm far from a helicopter mom or even a doting one.  My fuse can be short; my attention divided.  I sometimes half-jokingly refer to my mothering as "benevolent neglect" - that I hope will foster independence, scrappiness, and a provide a good adult women role model.  Despite my "bad mom" persona, I do make sure she always knows she is loved, safe, and secure. So far, so good...knock wood.

Quite honestly - between you and me -

2010: Year in Review, Part 2 - Men, Love , Sex and Ex

Life's Big Buckets in 2010, part 2 of three - This part is a Biggie - bigger than it should be, I'd think.  But what is Life without  Love?

Men, Sex, and Love - Or some combination thereof...sometimes.  The biggest trial of all.  As usual.  My half-full glass and pragmatic romantic view prevails.  It was a good year.  There was progress, there were setbacks; but more progress than setbacks.

As we entered 2010, I was enjoying a romantic interlude with Hiking Viking.  We seemed to be navigating our complexities and individual needs, desires, and directions well.  We were even growing closer and more emotionally intimate with whispers of sweet nothings and love.  Perhaps this was the harbinger - we really didn't belong in that territory, as lovely as it was - because CRASH!- BANG! -BOOM! we had some deep uglies suddenly and immediately afterward.  Uglies that left me reeling and confused, though in hindsight, it was more likely a necessary course correction.  We managed a bit more in a gentle, kind, supportive friendship - two people who seemed to get each other...with benefits.  But nice, and even right, as this was, it was  not safe or comfortable territory for me.  I tried to feel my way around this zone...but CRASH! BANG!  BOOM! in one of these (perhaps misguided)  conversations, I encountered anger, blame, vitriol - hurling accusations and spewing resentment - and our friendship was mutually declared over.  I have never in my life declared a friendship over - I've grown apart (sometimes intentionally); I've created space;  I've lost time and priority in friendships that had mutually served its purpose.  But I have never actively severed a friendship.  It left me reeling and destabilized again.  Another area, as the year closes, where I have found myself destabilized and second-guessing myself, and my mojo shaken.  Enough bandwidth...onward and upward.

Vegitect is a big character in this year's screen play.  Springtime, and all is possible.  New, green design gigs and newfound legs underneath himself made him ripe for romance when we met.  Here is an awesome man....witty, sexy, creative, handsome, and international.  :-) We found ourselves and each other in shared a passion for creativity in its infinite forms, and in our individual resilience always manifesting from the core.  Our compatibility and chemistry was notable.  I sometimes long for the promise of April - venturing to Paris with friends, and getting sweet, funny international text messages on l'autobus and brilliant sketched postcards for my birthday. But I feared... no, I knew... that he was not ready for involvement, and I told him as much, while I carefully skirted emotional attachment. Hell, I was so fuckin' prescient, I even wrote into My Main Gal Hax about the issue on an online discussions in June, that was later published in the Washington Post in September.  And prescient indeed... timing and time is important.  And as time passed, the messiness and acrimony of his divorce became more apparent, and the reality of throwing his dreams, drive and financial stake into a start-up in a crap economy became all-consuming.  It was a shit-storm in which I could not get sucked into the vortex, nor toss the life ring from the edge.  I have had my own shit-storm, and as recently emergent, I can say that life's personal shit-storms are best weathered independently.  But here and now, Dear Vegitect, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wit; your bizarre and endearing sense of irony; for sitting on my porch on early summer evenings talking with a bottle of chilled Spanish Cava or with sparklers in hand; for your photos, sketches, and sexy texts; for a well-planned mystery picnic; for teaching me the secrets of a perfectly fragrant and delicious daal; for the flowers; and for your continued friendship.  XO.

And while a few other minor characters made cameo appearances as love interests - one in particular that was not to be - it was a most of all a year of love and learning. And my learning has essentially led me to believe that it is timing that is mostly determinant, and that it takes time to see if love will stick among the competing vicissitudes.  And for the moment, I'm taking a chosen break, but surely not forever.

Irony  This was the year that I learned that Dear ex-Husband re-married.  I learned it on Facebook.  Two years after the fact.  This may well be my most mortifying and humbling moment.  I was enraged!  Anger and fury that I rarely feel, let alone express...but I did both to the fullest.  It felt amazing. But I know the source of my anger is also my disappointment, my sense of betrayal, and my sadness.  He and his wife are now expecting a baby any week now. And Dear Daughter suffers at the hands of an evil stepmother - it is not a cliche; she is a character study of immaturity, insecurity and passive-aggression. And Dear ex-Husband continues to make bad decisions that only spiral him downward, and his charm cannot save him anymore.  And the only good thing to come out of all his 2010 shenanigans is that I am freed of the horrible guilt and self-flaggelation for our failed marriage that I inflicted upon myself daily .    Did I make mistakes?  Yes.  Will I do things differently with my next partner/husband from the insight I have gained into (un)healthy, (dys)functional love and partnership?  Indeed, I fervently hope so.   Do I share the responsibility for our failure?  I do.  But I no longer blame myself.  There is nothing I could have done differently to save our marriage - as much as I tried and wished.  His latest antics are only proof that he could not and did not show up.  Not for me, and sadly, these days I worry, not even for himself.  And with all his hooey, I'm clearly, markedly, definitively better off without him.

2010: Year in Review, Part 1 - Work and Wealth

Overall, I'd declare this year Good overall, but most notably a year of Improvement and Progress.  :-)  For once, "most improved"doesn't feel like a consolation prize, but a hard-won, much-cherished feat.  The series of tragedies and bad news of years past have ebbed.  It was a welcome reprieve, and interestingly I noticed and appreciated the absence of constant losses and unheavals.  How often do we notice and appreciate that "nothing bad is happening" and therefore I am grateful?  Of course, I am grateful for the many good fortunes in my life this past year, and humbled by the setbacks.  Rather than a chronological review, this year I will examine Life's Big Buckets, and how each one fared.  This is a blog post in three parts (and some parts are a work in progress, as I continue to edit bit by bit).

Work - My job is demanding and stressful. At times, it can totally suck the life out of me.  For the better part of this year however, it sustained me and fulfilled me.  My boss, our CEO, announced her planned departure for early 2011, and this had some wonderful outcomes.  It was a great relief to know that a huge stressing, anxiety-producer will be releasing its grip.  Also, perhaps her own knowledge of her transition took some burden off her as well, because our relationship eased and became more trusting and respectful (for the most part).  Also, my ego was boosted, as both several members of our board and our funders saw me as a viable candidate to take on her role....but I am both smart and sane, and announced I would not be applying.  It was terrific to have the best of all worlds - good enough to do it, smart enough not to!

Take that NYTimes!

As much as I LOVE the NYTimes, this highly insulting article is totally dismissive of the DC, specifically Capitol Hill, dining scene.  It pretty much says that every recent restaurant opening up on the Hill is some version of junk food for simpletons!  I won't take it!

But this blogger from my local blogsite,The Hill is Home, says it best, New York Also Thinks DC Looks Fat In Those Pants!

Social Science Palooza

Weird science!  I'm WAY behind on my writing - but this cool article by NYTimes columnist, David Brooks, summarizes the (bizarre) results of recent social science research.

People are strange and complicated creatures.  At least that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it!

Freedom

Tonight, as I came in from fireside drinks with dear old friend, M, and I realized NO ONE was at home. NO ONE will be here for at least the next 24 hours.  Dear Daughter is with Dear ex-Husband, and au pair has flown off to Chicago for the holidays.  The house is empty, and ALL MINE.  I own this house - as much as anyone really can own their house in the United States of America - that is, the bank and I own this house, with lots of equity, and an affordable mortgage payment - which is good enough.  My obligations are all my own...I am only responsible for myself here and now.  I walked in the door, stripped off my clothes, and made lots of noise.  Tomorrow I will wake up, and make myself some good strong coffee, and take as long, as hot a shower as I please.  I will fart to my heart's content.  This is freedom for  this single working mom, folks.   Freedom plain and simple.

2010 Year in Ideas

My favorite issue of the New York Times magazine is out! The Year in Ideas presents some of the best innovation, ingenuity and imagination concepts of the year in various disciplines - medicine to design.  I just eat this issue up...and here are a few ideas that tickled my fancy:

Relaxation Drinks - With the energy drink market saturated for products like Red Bull , it makes sense that the next frontier in the specialty soft drink business would be relaxation drinks.  These drinks are loaded with natural relaxation agents like Valerian, Kava, and Melatonin.  As much as I actively seek ways to chill out, I'm not a likely consumer.

Youth Condom - After learning that many young people were doing it with condoms that didn't quite fit, a snugger (let's not say smaller, shall we?) condom, Hotshot, is marketed to 13 to 15 year olds.   I'm not that psyched that fourteen-year-olds are having sex - but a good 13% of them have been sexually active by age 15, and I want them to be safe, so I'm a fan.

Turbine-Free Wind Power - These wind powers vibrate from a passing breeze, and can convert the wind vibration to energy.  Since they take up little space and require less air area than wind turbines, they are well suited for urban spaces like the sides of buildings and rooftops.  I think wind farms are beautiful, but apparently, if I were better acquainted with them, I'd know they are noisy and cause danger to wildlife.  These oscillating panels are a step in the right direction for greener power.  I think the green innovation of this era is awesome!

The Train that Never Stops - A high-speed intercity train in China loses 45 minutes during its journey just because of 3-minute station stops along the way.  But this invention would save that precious time. Passengers enter and exit through pods that attach to the top of the train as it speeds through the station, and enter the train through a roof hatch.  Makes EZ Pass look old-fashioned!

Like.

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Mind-blowing!!

This wonderful NYTimes feature, Mapping America: Every City, Every Block depicts 2010 census data through powerful color density graphics for every block.  Maps show race and ethnicity, income, education, housing, and families stats for any zip code and the specific census tracts of each - in my urban area this is about .25 square mile.  Go ahead, plug in your zip, zoom in, and get insight to the demographic composition of your own neighborhood.

I could have played with this for hours, but for now, I've learned some fascinating statistics for my little corner of the world, Census Tract 6802:

Winter Medley

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...


It's frigid cold these past few days.  The kind of cold where your face stings and your ears ring, and your fingertips go numb...with gloves.  I'm enjoying the real winter cold even though it's brutal when walking just a few blocks.  I've been drinking lots of hot chocolate, coffee, and tea.  I love bundling up in my new coat, cute hat, snug gloves and my scarf-of-the day.  I cherish the last moment in a cozy warm room before hitting the bracing, but exhilarating, air, or the first moment there that welcomes me back from it.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

It feels more like Christmastime than those balmy 50 degree days that Washington sometimes has in December.  At around 4'oclock on a gray, blustery day, it can look quite stark and dreary - those naked, gnarly tree branches in our concrete jungle.  But by 6pm, the holiday lights start to glow from the yards and from the Christmas trees framed in the undressed windows of inviting homes.  I love window-peeping in the urban winter landscape.

Let it snow.  Let it snow.  Let it snow.

It would all be softened by a little snow.  A white soft blanket that would cover the greys and muffle the harsh echoes.  And my guys at Capital Weather Gang are predicting the season's first snowfall will arrive tomorrow. One to two inches - a lit more than a dusting, and likely not lasting.  But that first snowfall is such a thrill.  Every. Single. Time.

Brown paper packages tied up with strings...

And I've got some holiday cheer, too.  I've been wrapping presents - one of my least favorite things to do, and usually put off until the very last minute.  But this year, I've engaged dear daughter and we're choosing paper and ribbon colors for each gift.  She writes the labels in her darling, newly-learned, uneven handwriting "To: Helena.  From: Grace and Victoria " and my heart melts to watch her grow up right before my eyes.  So present wrapping is not so awful this year, and we're doing a few per night.

Hallelujah!


Hallelujah, indeed!  Tomorrow, we're going to the Kennedy Center for the Messiah concert of the National Symphony Orchestra.  Every part of that last sentence is a superlative!  Such a wonderful treat.

And today, I will say, for the first time in a few days or a few weeks, It's a Wonderful Life.

Fa la la, la la, la, la, la, la.

Menu: Anyway, inspired by Nigella

Shrimp with Maryam Zaira sauce

Cocktail nuts

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Scallops and Chorizo

Flatiron Steak

Spinach with Chickpeas and Sherry

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Pots de Chocolate with fresh whipped cream

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Red and white wines and beer

Coffee

Sicko

I have been smacked upside the head with the flu.  My head pounds - the sinus pressure has given me an awful headache.  My joints and muscles ache from head to toe.  I have no energy, and even little efforts are exhausting. I have a scratchy throat and a dry cough.  Even my eyes feel awful - heavy from being tired, and irritated from alternating between dry and tear-y.   And with each passing hour in my bed, in my pj's,  I feel worse, not better.

I'm not good at being really sick.  Dragging and moaning a bit when a little under the weather is my specialty.  But when I'm really sick, I'm in denial.  I assume I can power through if.  My worst case prognosis tends to be to force myself to take care of myself with naps, ibuprofen, fluids, and vitamins, and  I'll be back at it in a coupla hours, or a half day at most.  So when Plan A (power through it) and Plan B (self-administer sick TLC for a few hours) don't cut it, I find myself a little stymied.  I'll be better by evening, right?  Or by the class I'm registered for tomorrow morning?  Or by the time my guests arrive for my dinner party tomorrow night?  At this point, I'm not so sure.
  

Books 2010: Corduroy Mansions by Alexander McCall Smith

I'm a longtime fan of Alexander McCall Smith's #1 Ladies Detective Agency series.  These books which are set in pastoral Botswana, tell the tales of Precious Ramatswe, a lady detective or a certain age and a certain size.  Each one describes a gentle African beauty of culture, people, and geography with humble respect and dignity.  There is something that is both simple and profound at once in the same sentence, the chapter, the entire novel, and the entire series.  It is a quick and easy read, but never insulting of one's intelligence.

Until now, I had not found McCall Smith's other novels all that appealing.  During the period that I was reading about the ladies detective agency, I was traveling back and forth to Africa.  This time, I was traveling back and forth to London, when I became immersed and enamored with Corduroy Mansions.

Corduroy Mansions is a townhouse divided into several flats in the Pimlico area of London.  Each flat has its own cast of characters, with somewhat interlinking stories, each totally absurd, yet somehow almost perfectly plausible.  One twenty-something flatmate living among the group of young women living together entirely by circumstance, is the junior staffer of an abhorrent MP who ends up firing her by text message. While another of these post-uni young woman works at a health food store, and somehow offers her boy-crush a free colonic irrigation.  A middle-aged gentleman is desperate to have his mid-20's son move out to his own place, and schemes ways to push him out of the nest.  All this while a desperate divorcee schemes her way into the nest.

The novel has an agreeable pace and tone.  McCall Smith carries you easily through each sentence and chapter, but never insult you intelligence.  And while the plots unfold in a simple, seemingly one-dimensional narrative, there is an additional plane of biting, droll wit, so subtle it's often almost missed, like one character's somewhat neurotic observation of the fish seller always being prompt, "she liked that in someone who sold perishables."  There were many times when reading, I just enjoyed the little subtle joke or the totally nuanced absurdity, and I could imagine McCall Smith's twinkling eyes as he wrote it.

4 out of 5 stars for a good read, an gentle read, and a natural humor...this one's easy on the eyes, and only as taxing on the brain as you want it to be.

A compliment

At a strange time when my mojo is hobbled, and I'm spending far too much time second-guessing myself, I got a unexpected nice compliment from our Controller today:

 "You have the biggest budget, the most responsibility, and you are the only one around here interested in reviewing your numbers.  You know right away when there's an error for accounting reclassification."

OK, not my usual point of pride, but I'll take it.

Reflections

This week at All Souls Church, there was a short reflection on the sermon, Gift, Grace, and Letting Go. in which the speaker talked about the change of seasons, and how just as the leaves fall from trees, so to must we let go of that which has served its purpose.  The sentiment hit home, deep within my core, and I immediately embraced it.  Now, perhaps Hiking Viking or Vegitect might understand its resonance, and internalize it with some bittersweet sentiment.  And if so, he would be right to be so self-centered, I did go there...With the falling of the leaves...

But also, it is a metaphor for so much - almost every thing in our lives which has served its value and given its gift must be surrendered to realize its full grace.

Tonight, I had drinks with M, my colleague from work whom I've written about here before.  M is my colleague, my friend, and warm, loved, character from my dreams underwritten by a score of sexual tension.  M is in his last week at the office before he begins his new job at a private investment fund.

His departure has truly shaken me.  Since he started with us almost four years ago, M has transformed our little non-profit, loosey-goosey shop to a serious operation.  Mostly through his talents for accounting, budgets, systems, and operations, he built a framework for planning, policies, and finance.  It was always good knowing that M was around - he inspired my trust and my confidence, and that was always a relief.  He unburdoned so much, and that was truly a gift.  But he gave many others.

Beach in November

Fenwick Island, DE

The beach in the off-season is so wonderful.  I love its vast expanses - ocean, sky, sand in the clear, crisp air - that are not nearly as noticeable among the summer throngs/thongs.  I like its different rhythms - games inside, not outside; and warm foods, instead of iced ones.  I like how the glow of the house lights beckon you in the 5 o'clock darkening evening.  And that the broad winter-night starry sky meets the horizon, a scene not seen from the city or the even the wooded camping trip.  I like the empty streets, the closed seasonal shops, and even the boarded-up houses that suggest you have it all to yourself.  I love how the ocean - as it always does - draws you to its edge, but, this time, not in.

I [HEART] Philadelphia murals

There are many reasons I love my childhood hometown of Philadelphia.  It has wonderful distinct urban neighborhoods.  Society Hill, Rittenhouse Square, Fairmount, South Philly, West Philly, University City, West Oak Lane, Mount Airy, Old City, Chestnut Hill and Queen Village are just a few of the dozens of  true communities each with individual heritage, history, and flavor.   It's a local town - not filled transplants and transients.  When someone asks you where you went to school, they mean high school.

And my high school, in particular, elicits quite a response, if you're a local.  Central High School, founded in 1837, is the nation's second oldest public high school (after Boston Latin).  An all-boys school until 1983 when the elder sisters of some of my best friends took the school district to court, and won the case that the single sex admission policy was unconstitutional.  While Girls High (how's that for two lackluster high school names?), a college preparatory magnet school located down the street was considered Central's peer, Central's facilities, alumni old-boys' networks of Philadelphia's finest judges, lawyers, and doctors, and its alumni fund and college scholarships were far superior.  Central became co-ed, and I was in the second co-ed class in Central's history.  "2-4-7  Ho!" - as we used to say, for at Central you were not known as Class of '88, but as Central's 247th graduating class (a carry-over from when there were two graduating classes per year in January an June).

But I digress....

Menu: Thanksgiving 2010 - a shared cooking feat and eating feast

Appetizers

Shrimp Cocktail

Aged Cheddar 

Smoked Gouda

Cashews

Vegetables with White Bean Dip

- Wine and Beer -

Dinner

Roast Turkey with Sage and Sausage Stuffing

Maple Sweet Potatoes

Mashed Potatoes

Braised Brussel Sprouts

Puree of Roasted Carrot, Parsnips, Turnips and Leeks

Cranberry-Orange Relish

 - Beaujolais Nouveau -

Dessert

Traditional American Pies

(pumpkin pie, apple pie, and pecan pie)

with fresh whipped cream

- Coffee and Tea -

RSAmazing - Changing Educational Paradigms

[If the embedded video isn't showing here, click here to YouTube Link]

Wow!  I was recently introduced to RSA Animate, and their Vision Video Webcasts (above and more later).  This is such cool stuff!   And here's the scoop...

The 250 year old Royal Society for the encouragement of the Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce is now tagged "RSA - 21st Century Enlightenment."  An idea lab and exchange for creative thinking, design, innovation and social progress that hosts a network of RSA Fellows, provides platforms for experts to fuel public discourse, and supports interdisciplinary projects for social change solutions.  Unfortunately, the website is not nearly as well-presented and organized, as their individual products.  Creativity and brilliant minds are messy, I guess.  But I digress.

When I first came across RSA Animate, we were discussing how to present and package relatively complex research and ideas so they are easy to follow, understand, and ultimately stick.  If you take 12 minutes or so to watch the video link, you will see what I mean.  [Please pause to watch video link here, then continue after the jump]  

Carrot Soup

This weekend, I made a lovely, warming carrot soup, flavored with orange, sherry, and tarragon.  This soup was absolutely scrumptuous.  The carrots gave it earthy base, coupled with the richness of sweet cream butter.  The orange added  a fresh and sweet tang.  The sherry provided a distilled, slightly sharp taste.  And tarragon had a lingering, gorgeous, delicate, aromatic effect.  

A wonderful beginning to the French country menu for Saturday's dinner at the beach.

Confetti

Hanging around

This shot was taken the day after our meltdowns.  I am the luckiest mom.

Mommy Dearest

I'm tired and grumpy today after a night of little sleep.  I tossed and turned, and worried about the CEO search at work and how it will all affect me; the state of merger negotiations and if there's still hope; the irksome ambiguities of my dating screen; vacillating on whether I'm bullish or bearish on my retirement fund; concerned about my body and health deteriorating -  my metabolism screeching to a halt and my reading eyes going blind starting the day I hit 40.  Oh me, oh my...to just have certainty about the future.  I know, I know....HA!  At most, I can have comfort that it will all be OK - which I generally do, but last night it decided to take the slippery slope downward.

So I took my exhaustion and uncertainty out on my daughter this morning.  As she readied for school, excited about her day, we just - as mother and daughters do - pushed each others' buttons.  It started with excess conditioner in her hair, discovered only after she was fully dressed, and me trying to rinse/comb it out without her getting back into the shower.  Which led to a wet dress, and a wet floor, and wet towels, and painfully combing through tangles.  Which led to tears (hers) and impatience (mine) and whines (hers) and yelling (mine).  And drama, that included stomping (hers) and slammed doors (hers) and cursing (mine - aloud, but to myself, if it makes a wee bit of difference in your opinion of me, dear reader).  And more crying and yelling (hers and mine respectively).

And her cries and whines were amplified in my tired and impatient brain, reverberating like a huge train barreling through my bedroom or an airplane taking off on my roof.  Just unbearable head noise that I just desperately wanted to end right at that very second.   I can handle a conversation, maybe even a negotiation - but not this screaming dear animal child!  And if it also makes a wee difference, dear reader, at one point she is sobbing and crying to me, but looking at her reflection in the mirror.  Which led to me getting even more exasperated, because I am watching my 6-year old Drama Queen audition for her Little Orphan Annie role.  Which led to realizing - thank god - that my patience had run its course, and my temper was taking over.  Which led to a time out (mine...yes, mine).  

And when it was all over, and we were sitting there amidst wet towels late for school and work, there were hugs and apologies (mine and hers, but mostly mine).  And I feel like a horrible ogre.  And I feel guilty.  And I feel like the Worst Mom Ever.  And I am embarrassed and ashamed that I do not have more patience and calm in me, especially with my dear child, who is wonderful and still innocent, and tremendously unblemished.  And I'm still sad and upset that I am not a better mom and a better person.

What I'm Wearing Today

Charcoal gray sweater dress (Eileen Fisher); mocha brown shawl (vintage); chocolate brown opaque tights (Target); bark brown leather heels with criss-cross leather straps (indigo by Clarks); Art Deco-design bronze dangly earrings (airport store)

7:45am, Dear Daughter: Mama, you look pretty.

8:00am, au pair: Are you going out tonight?

8:30am, Dear Daughter's teacher: I love those shoes.  Where are they from?

8:35am, mom friend at school: Those earrings are sweet.

9:25am, office colleague 1: You look nice.  I like what you're wearing.

9:30am, office colleague 2: Oooo, I like your shoes. 

10:00am, office colleague 3: Do you have a date tonight?

12:15pm, dental hygienist:  I like your shawl.  It's so beautiful.

4:45pm, my boss:  That dress looks great on you.  Who makes it?

10:00pm, random stranger on subway:  Oooo, I love your earrings.

Thank you very much each and all!  I got two takeaways - 1.  Women really dress for each other.  2.  I'll be wearing this again!

Smoking is absolutely filthy!

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is proposing new large-print, highly graphic warnings on cigarette packs, such as the one to the left.  There are 36 more being proposed, and nine will be chosen.  These warning will comprise 50% of the front and rear panels of each cigarette packet, and 20% of any cigarette ad.  The images are appropriately disgusting  and jarring.

I think smoking is revolting.  It smells bad. It looks bad.  It makes people sick - fatally so.  It irritates non-smoking bystanders.  The foul smell sticks to clothes, hair, furniture, carpets, window shades, and tableware.  It turns teeth yellow and brown.  Kissing a smoker feels like kissing an ashtray. Sooner or later the young , hipster smoker turns into a hacking, addicted, aged-beyond-their-true-age, old, sick person smoking in the rainy, cold under an awning.

If my own personal horror does not make it clear enough, here are some hard facts from the NYTimes article on the new FDA warnings:

Public health officials are hoping that the new labels will re-energize the nation’s anti-smoking efforts, which have stalled in recent years. About 20.6 percent of the nation’s adults, or 46.6 million people, and about 19.5 percent of high school students, or 3.4 million teenagers, are smokers. Every day, roughly 1,000 teenagers and children become regular smokers, and 4,000 try smoking for the first time. About 400,000 people die every year from smoking-related health problems, and the cost to treat such problems exceeds $96 billion a year.

Smoking is increasingly stigmatized these days - if I have friends or colleagues that do smoke they would likely not be "out" in their habit.  In all honestly, I have less respect for smokers. I was devastated when I learned that Obama is a smoker, albeit a reticent and humbled addict. I'd even go as far to say that I find them disgusting themselves.  But I can't go that far because in all honesty, I feel sorry for them and their addiction and our shared human frailty.

I hope my daughter never starts.  Admittedly, I have smoked cigarettes at various times in my life.  I tried my first cigarette at about 12 years old...

Barclay's Cycle Hire - London

Real Science

The New York Times has a fascinating article, "Voices: What's Next in Science" which gives ten predictions from leading scientists from a variety of disciplines - biology to genomics.  These are near-term predictions, based on the directions the field is going.  And quite-frankly, some of them are mind-blowing.

My personal favorite is from Steven Strogatz, Professor of Applied Mathematics at Cornell University:

“We’re going to see scientific results that are correct, that are predictive, but are without explanation. We may be able to do science without insight, and we may have to learn to live without it. Science will still progress, but computers will tell us things that are true, and we won’t understand them.”

If I understand this correctly, it means computers will tell us things that are correct, and that even if we cannot understand them we will just have to trust.  Sounds more like Faith than Science.  And yes, this is science, not science fiction.  Amazing! - check out the other predictions at the link above.

Late on the Uptake: DC Mayoral Election

This post is long overdue, but still fascinating -  to me, at least.

In last week's DC's mayoral election, nearly one-in-four voters cast their vote by write-in for incumbent Mayor Adrian Fenty, who had decidedly lost his primary bid 53 to 46% to his opponent, and the ultimate victor, Vincent Gray.  That's right, in the final election, twenty-three percent of votes were taken by a write-in candidate, who explicitly stated he was not pursuing a write-in campaign, and conceded to Gray well over a month earlier.  Talk about a divided city!

For me, there are many 'what if's?' that I realize a well-run democracy cannot accomodate. For example, in the primary, Republicans, Independents, and the Statehood Green party could not obviously not vote for Fenty, but may have indeed considered him the best candidate.  It is also interesting, because many Fenty supporters gave their vote to Gray in the final election, even though he was not their candidate, but was the best of the choices. I suppose I'm asking, what if there were not primary party elections, but rather the whole city votes the best candidate?  Makes me question party politics at all in this day and age.  And particularly in this city of 95+% registered Democrats.

I, myself, was at a loss to support Gray, but did not have other viable options. I would not vote for the other party candidates, as I did not think they had experience or merit; I also did not want to write-in Fenty (though he was my choice) because he explicitly said he was not seeking a write-in.  In the end, I abstained on my mayoral vote on my ballot, which was a very painful and difficult call - and one that I'm not even sure I was comfortable doing.  My thinking was, "I will not explicitly support Gray with my vote, but nor will I vote for another candidate that I think is no good; nor will I vote for a candidate who is not running. My silence is my tacit dissent."  But what good is tacit dissent, if nobody hears it?

As it happens, write-in non-candidate Fenty won three precincts in my ward, and won two precincts each in two other wards. As mentioned, overall, twenty-three percent of the votes went to non-candidate Fenty -  not bad for someone who is not even running! 

An Ideal Husband

No plans for tonight, so I considered either returning to some of my favorite places from my last two London trips in spring and summer or exploring some new ones.  I decided to get out there in new territory, but was not ambitious or energetic enough for Brick Lane, as I hoped, so I decided to buy some half-price theatre tickets.  I'm in London after all.

I found a nice bargain for the newly produced Oscar Wilde play, An Ideal Husband, at the Vaudeville Theatre on The Strand in London's West End.  It officially opens with press night next week on November 10.  But the soft opening gives the performers the chance to try out their energy and timing on actual London theatregoers and hapless tourists.

It was thoroughly enjoyable.  The witty banter and clever observations on social rituals, morals, hypocrisy, gender roles, and marriage were brilliant, though required rapt attention and a quick mind to catch it at its best.  I had limitations on both this evening after a long week.  This was coupled with a warm, crowded and cramped theatre had me nodding off during the first act, and trying to ignore my mild discomfort in the second act.

Actors Samantha Bond, Eliot Cowan, Alexander Hanson and Rachel Stirling worked well together on stage.  Samantha Bond gets top billing in her portrayal of Mrs. Cheveley, and she does indeed likably play this unlikeable character.  Her co-star, and real life husband, Alexander Hanson, plays Sir Chiltern in wonderful existential comic angst.  But Eliot Cowan's timing and brilliant physical acting, playing Lord Goring, absolutely stole the show for me.  

Meeting Room

Blogging While Intoxicated

It's 930pm back at the hotel, and I've had a few drinks with colleagues - seems like a good time to run through the day.

9am -  I'm on the steering committee on a group that works with AIDS and children.  We have our two-day business meetings here in London.  I'm new to the bunch, and they are well-established as a group of 14 colleagues.  Still, my debut on the steering committee was not so bad.  We're meeting at the offices of a private foundation in County Hall, Westminster, and the board room windows overlook Westminster Bridge, Parliament, and Big Ben.  Speaking of...he chimed twelve times to announce lunch and rang through the open windows that let in that sound, as well as the wind and damp air, and which gave us the varying natural light of the overcast, partially cloudy - no partly sunny - day...which had us alternatively closing and opening the windows and shades to accommodate the ever-shifting London weather.  I was right there in the moment.  And while new, I didn't say anything too off, despite the technical talk and associated jargon about children and AIDS.  I said just enough bright things to earn my keep and not have this be a boondoggle trip, or be a blowhard, like the talk-to-much colleague to my left who drove me batty.

415pm - I  left on the early side for a meeting at a hugely, wealthy private foundation.  I made my way over to Clifford Street, off Regent and Conduit.  What a trip - this little uber-wealthy area -  and further proof that I don' know London at all.  There on the corner, Louis Vuitton and Burberry, as well as Stella McCartney among other haute designers.  It's all kind of ridiculous, but Louis Vuitton windows did have an absolutely stunning display for Dewali - India's Festival of lights.  Simply Gorgeous.

5pm - My meeting went well with the evaluation specialist there.  I spent a lot of time talking about metrics and measurement, and throwing around technical terms, though also quite a skeptic.  It's all a lot of blah-blah-blah...but I also really care about it, so I can bullshit with the best of them.

615pm- I took the Bakerloo line back to Waterloo,and since I chose the wrong "Way Out," I walked all around the bloody station on the streets to get to my destination.  When train tracks are in the way there is not a lot of choice.  Ugh.  I was tired and annoyed that I had -  once again - choosen the wrong direction.  I pride my sense of direction, but I always seem to start off on the wrong track - once oriented, I'm all cool.

7pm- I met 7 colleagues for dinner, where I enjoyed scallops wrapped in pancetta on pumpkin puree and kale.  Scrumptious...with a rocket and parmesan salad with 2 glasses of red.  Simply delish- I am rarely happier than eating good food, accompanied by some wine and good people chit-chatting about nothing in particular.  John (Canada) and I discussed politics, while Dortje (Netherlands) chimed in on some gay harassment in Utrecht, and Linda (South Africa) helped polish off the after-dinner bottle and told about finding finding temporary housing in Geneva.   Stefan (Germany) paid the bill - he's been promoted and has a huge expense account to go with his new stratospheric title.  A nice way to bond with this group - and yes, be more effective and accepted tomorrow.

9pm - Catherine (US) and I enjoyed two more glasses of wine at the hotel bar, and talked about the things that smart, professional women do.. fertility, marriage, dating, birth control, and long-distance relationships.

Sigh...I love my life.  Lucky me.

Look Left

Dispatch from London

Tube strike wreaks havoc on my life (and London, in general):  Today's tube strike brought gridlock to London, and a virtual standstill to Underground operations.  Limited services meant some lines were completely suspended; some stations were completely closed, and where trains were running they were infrequent and overcrowded.  I used a combination of taxi, private hire car service, tube, and walking.  


London map starts to stick in my head by way of my feet:  I covered a good part of London on foot today from Oxford Circus to Soho to Leicester Square to Trafalger Square to Westminster to Waterloo.  I lost my bearings a few times, and started off in the wrong direction, but quickly reoriented and got on my way.  I think I'm finally beginning to connect London.  I've got the Southwark down from Waterloo to the Tate Modern to The Cut, onward east to London Bridge and Canary Wharf. I also think I get Vauxhall and Battersea Power Plant in the other direction on the south side of the Thames.  Today I connected some of the northern side, but without a sense of the river nearby, I get completely dizzy disoriented.   Still, I think I now have a sense of Westminster to Hyde Park, Marble Arch and Edgware Road.  As well as how Piccadilly Circus, Oxford Street, Regent Street, Soho, Chinatown, and Leicester Square connect - though I have to say, I am not so interested here.  Tomorrow, I may actually get to Brick Lane.  It's amazing how walking will get you through and around a city - it's finally clicking.


New jet lag remedy discovered: Travel the first week of November, the week between the time changes in Europe and the US.  For one week only, when London has already changed back to standard time and before the US changes to standard time a week later, the time difference is just 4 hours.  Jet lag is 20% easier to overcome than the rest of the year!

Two Cool Cats

Happy Halloween

Weekend List - Me, all me!

Carve jack o'lanterns  - Not our best this year
Roast pumpkin seeds - Yummy
Pay bills
File financial documents Q3  - Stabilized, hoping for solid by end of the year :-)
Do laundry
Put it away
Bake banana bread - Delish, with walnuts and chocolate chips
Swim 40 minutes
Buy apples and cider at farmer's market
Early Vote!
Shop for clothes/shoes  - Success!
Eat out Saturday night - My second lobster roll this week!
Laze around in bed, drinking coffee, reading paper - Indulgence
Short hike
Swim 30 minutes - Again!
Return boots, exchange shoes
Trick-or treat
Begin London packing/piling
Go grocery shopping  - Oh well, it's a short list for tomorrow, and we have milk for coffee
Make food for the troops for the days, I'm gone - Didn't happen

Phew, what a weekend...very productive, and I'm tired.  It's not always like this - but it sure was satisfying.

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs...

I saw it coming.  As we walked and paused to admire some funky pumpkins, he leaned into me.  A few moments later, he touched my arm, and I (against my better judgment, but following the stage directions) let my fingers graze his elbow.   A pregnant pause.  "Here it comes," I thought.  His thin fish lips came toward me in a grotesque twisty pucker, and landed on my mouth which knew the drill and went into the pucker reflex.  It was short and tepid, kind of like kissing a frog.   I withdrew, smiled, and said, "Thank you for a lovely dinner.  I had a nice time."  "Hello, I must be going," my sub-conscious screamed with alarm.

A first (and last) kiss.  Sigh.  More adventures in dating...and yes, I did extract myself - as directly and kindly, as possible -  the following day.

Wasabi - Modern Japanese Cuisine

London-bound

I'm off to London again next week - Tuesday through Saturday.  This will be my 3rd trip there since May - not bad for a non-profit job doing social good.  I've been setting up meetings, and have been highly dependent on Google maps and the kindness of my Brit colleagues to guide my journey on the underground and on the surface.  I always get a little smile on my face when I hear London place names.  Next week's destinations include Waterloo, Piccadilly, Baker Street (Bakerloo line), Westminster Bridge, East Ham, and Uxhall!  Lucky me!

Blog Stats for La Nouvelle Observatrice (and random things we can glean from all that)

Blogger provides real-time stats on page views, referring sources, and audience.  The stats tracking has only been available since July, but it has provided me with endless fascination, inspiration, and imagination on my readership out there on the World Wide Web!  I have turned off tracking of my own page views from my home and work computers, so all current stats only reflect my 5 or so known readers, and the other random people who stumble across the writings of La Nouvelle Observatrice.  There are lots of things I don't know from the stats tracking, like unique users/viewers, and those of you who visit time and time again. Welcome one and all, please browse around, and feel free to follow or comment.  And don't worry, I have no idea who you are.

With one week still left in October, I had already surpassed my all time high of monthly page views - though I'm still just a blip out there in cyberspace. And that exciting milestone - spurred by my love of both metrics and blogging - inspired this post.

Click through to see some other interesting facts on my reader stats:

Menu: Fall Harvest Supper for a Dozen or So Good People

Mexican Mole Chili

- brimming with beans, corn, peppers, and flavored with rich, deep mole sauce

(vegetarian or turkey) 

Corn Muffins

- with sweet cream butter and honey

Spinach Salad

- with walnuts and dried cherries & champagne vinaigrette

Apple Crisp

- served warm with homemade ginger ice cream

Wine, Oktoberfest beer, Cider

Fabulous real estate!!

Once again, the NYTimes has written an article just for me - Who Lives There - Making a Home in a Pyramid 462 Feet Above Seattle.  This one is on the space and its inhabitants of a 2-story, 1700+ ft2 pyramid apartment atop the Smith Building in downtown Seattle.

The common living space - LR, DR, K - sits on the second floor of the apartment, while the nook-like bedrooms sit on the first floor.    Built-in shelves and window seats house books and eclectic collectibles (like empty bottles of Moet & Chandon from the last party with U2) or a small child reading on cushions framed in a cathedral-like window.  Smallish, triangular windows dot the sloping walls, letting in light, and each one frames a unique cityscape.  Structural innards are exposed.  A catwalk and narrow spiral staircase lead to the "Globe" - a glass enclosed observation room with a 365-degree view of the city from 40 stories high!  Here's the slide show.

Quite quirky - and no thanks, I wouldn't live there - but fun to imagine nonetheless.

A few of my favorite things: design, food, public health

Today's NYTImes Op-Ed includes a graphic, Lunch Line Redesign,  that illustrates how some simple design tweaks lead to better, healthier choices in the school cafeteria.  Design tweaks like fruit in a large fruit bowl, rather than a flat metal pan, increased sales.  An ice cream freezer with a closed opaque top reduced ice cream sales.  And an express line for healthy lunches (no chips or dessert) doubled sales for healthy sandwiches.

All of this is indeed very cool, as the US faces an obesity epidemic, and healthy fresh food options must find their way into our behavioral choices.  If these design fixes can help subtly influence these choices - not just our nutritional knowledge alone - then all the better.

Recently, I've found myself in two sandwich chains - Au Bon Pain and Panera Bread Company - which post calorie counts on the billboard menus from which I ordered.  On each occasion, I subconsciously considered the 2 or 3 most appealing selections, and then steered toward the lowest calorie option of those.  I made some assumptions in these choices - for example, that the calories were relatively equal in nutritional value - protein, fiber, Vitamin A or iron content, etc.  I also assumed that the calorie counts were wrong (having been tested in some food lab somewhere, and likely varied slightly, and likely for the worse, by food preparer).  Still, I assumed the relative calorie counts among the various choices still held true.  All this, in the flash of a few milliseconds of decision-making in the mind of a relatively well-informed, health conscious person.

Lots of disciplines melded here - and I appreciate the interdisciplinary application of design, public health, behavioral psychology, and economics.  I wonder how all this plays out in other choices we make - spending decisions, condom use, working out, etc.  I also wonder if school lunches are any less gross than they used to be.    

Merger Meeting

  TV screen shot from Thunderbirds.  (c) 2010 Vegitect

Words We Love Too Much

The NYTimes has a fabulous blog on English grammar, usage, and style.  This post on Words We Love Too Much discusses the Times' overuse and misuse of the word "epononymous."  Epononymous is hardly a word that rolls off the tongue, and it certainly slows down the fingers on the keyboard, yet the Times used this highfalutin word 64 times in the last year!

Highfalutin, on the other hand, does seem more commonly used in every-week-or-so language, yet I certainly had no clue how to spell it until I just checked.  The more commonly used "highbrow" is probably in daily use.

I love words, language, grammar, and punctuation (the last being my weakness).  One of my favorite books is Eats Shoots and Leaves  on how punctuation use and misuse can really alter the meaning and intent of a written sentence, often to humorous (to a nerd) effect.

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

Eats Shoots and Leaves has been adapted to a younger audience, intended for those in grades 1 to 3.  Here, "Eat here, and get gas," or "Eat here and get gas"  really illustrates the critical importance of proper comma use!

Michelle Obama: Re-Fashionista

The last 24-hours have been nothing, if not intense.  You know - board meetings & merger deals, and trying not to look, care or get upset while watching my ex's life implode or freak out about how that might ultimately affect me and Dear Daughter.   Sigh. It all seems heavier now than it will with some perspective, some sleep, and a good swim....But in the meantime, I'll distract myself with some fluff and stuff.

Stuff like Michelle Obama's wardrobe - and some good re-use of basic pieces and accessories.  Black jacket, green pumps, wide black belt, yellow cardigan, white bow blouse provide great inspiration for her multi-purpose, but singular, style....check it out for yourself here at the Yahoo! slideshow.  It takes a time and some initial investment to build a stable of go-to wardrobe basics and stylish accents that can be cleverly and creatively re-purposed  to express one's personal style (particularly as a public figure with constant media documentation).  Michelle Obama has a great eye and fabulous fashion sense that will serve as some inspirational, diversionary tactic to me, far away from my other cares.

My girl

Banh Mi. Yummy.

Banh mi - or as we say in Philly - a Vietnamese hoagie - is the ultimate fusion cheap street food.  A hoagie - Philadelphia's version of a sub sandwich - long soft roll, filled with meat, veg, and condiments - is a Philadelphia specialty.  Italian hoagies are a particular regional delicacy from the Old World - filled with the best Italian cured meats (salami, cappicola, prosciutto) cheese (a nice sharp provolone), lettuce, tomato and splashed with oil and vinegar (never mayo - oh horror!) on a Sarcone's long roll.

But a fabulous twist on the hoagie has become popular in Philadelphia and other cities.  This Banh mi - Vietnamese sandwich - is filled with pulled chicken, crisp carrots, cucumber, cilantro, and a fishy aioli was fresh-delish.  A pulled pork version is available, as is a vegetarian one with tofu and crunchy fresh Asian vegetables like daikon.  We lunched at this two-seater hole-in-the-wall today before heading back to DC - Cafe Nuh y (806 Christian Street, Philadelphia).   Other options around the city are reviewed here in Philadelphia Weekly.  Yum.

Street Scene: South Street, Philadelphia

OMG! Here's an excellent quiz on world religion

From the Pew Research Center national survey on religious knowledge, we learned that Americans don't actually know an awful lot about it - not about their own self-professed religion, and certainly less about anyone else's.  Self-identified atheists scored highest.

Here's a pop quiz from NYTimes  columnist Nicholas Kristof.  Admittedly, I did not do so well - 3 or 4 correct answers out of 13. And I hardly count those because I was either guessing or trying to psych out the test objective.  The quiz focuses on more extremist views of social and moral values, and it illustrates that religious tenets are more complicated and nuanced than one might be led to believe from the geopolitical bent of media and crazy, uninformed religious and political extremists....(Grrrrr....don't get me started).  I like that several questions on the quiz have more than one correct response.  Well-researched and provocative, it makes one stop and think.  Too bad, so many people don't bother doing so.

Lumenhaus: Design within Reach

Congratulations to the Virginia Tech team for winning the 2010 Solar Dacathalon Europe!  Their beautiful Lumenhaus (gorgeous film and interactive site) incorporates beautiful eco-design principles, and its infinite flexibility to upsize and downsize off the central module over a lifetime makes it even more ingenious.

The small 580 ft2 footprint looks and feels more expansive with the connections of the inside with the outside, the abundance of natural light from its wide windows, and its adaptable, multi-use spaces.  I am taken with the passive heating and cooling of the sliding screens and perforated panels that invite or deflect sun, or allow for a lovely cross ventilation.  I'm also in love with the adaptability of the central module - the way the table can be wheeled out to the pavilion patio (a new room in nice weather), and the kitchen counter detaches to additional counter space.  And as mentioned, the central, most expensive pod with the solar cells and controls, can have plugged in shells to expand up to a 4-5BR/2BA house as the family grows, and back down again in downsizing and empty-nesting  How marvelous is that? There's also all sorts of eco-tech features, that I hardly get, like bio-filitering grey water, rain catchment, and a smartgrid that works with the local utility company, both providing energy back to the grid and allowing a data feedback for its own use.  

The linked interactive feature here at the NY TImes gives a better tour and explanation than I ever could, so please check it out.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Dear daughter and I were having an early morning conversation today while snuggling in bed before facing the day.  Lights still out, shades still drawn, talking in soft voices - a wonderful moment that I hope to preserve in my heart because she is growing so fast (It's not a cliche, I swear!).  We were talking about what she wants to be when she grows up:

Dear Daughter: "If I can't be a rock star, I want to be a fashion model. If I can't be a fashion model, I want to be a detective. If I can't be a detective, I want to be a hair stylist."
Mama: "How about a teacher?
DD: "Yeah, if not a hair stylist, then a teacher."
Mama: "How about president of [my Non-Profit Organization]?
DD: "No, by the time I'm working you'll be retired."
M: "How about President of the United States?"
DD: "No, too hard."
M: "How about a judge?"
DD: "No because if my friends were having a challenge, and I liked them all, I couldn't decide."
M: "How about a doctor? Or a nurse?"
DD: "I don't want to see naked children," she says with a grossed-out look on her face in the dim light.
M: "How about a scientist?"
DD: "No, that's not me. I like fancy stuff."

She is nothing, if not a marvel.  She knows herself, and I can't say I disagree with her assessments.  I will love watching her grow up.

Sex Research

The results of a national sex research study were released today from Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion.  The findings are interesting, but not too shocking.  And phew! - it seems, I am, in fact, "normal."  The study was underwritten by Trojan, the condom company, and has the largest, most comprehensive sample size in almost 20 years, across a wide age range of 14 to 94 .  You can read it for yourself, but overall, it seems we're not doing so great on condom use (particularly among the 40+ age group), and we have a wide variety of sexual behaviors to keep ourselves and our partners happy.

I have always been interested in sex.  "Duh - who isn't?" you say.  But really, I am especially interested in sex - and not only from a personal pleasure point of view, but also from a sexual health perspective.  As a teenager, on Sunday nights, I'd listen to Dr Ruth (Westheimer) late into the night.  In high school, I bought the Shere Hite 500+ page report on female sexuality at a used bookstore.  In my early 20's, I was a Dr. Drew (Pinsky) fan on radio's Loveline, before he became famous on MTV.  And, as mentioned in a recent post, I am a savage fan of Savage Love by Dan Savage.  I stayed home one evening when I was 25, planning my night around a PBS documentary on Alfred Kinsey, underwritten by Hugh Hefner and the Ford Foundation :-).  The good people are My Heroes for being frank, direct role models and spokespeople for healthy, informed, consensual, positive, pleasurable, communicative sex.

I was a Planned Parenthood supporter, long before I had even been kissed.  In college, I was a family planning counselor.  In grad school, I studied public health, with a focus on Population and Family Health, now more commonly known and practiced as Reproductive and Sexual Health and Rights. In my career, I've worked on family planning and reproductive health programs.  And not so long ago, I even had to discuss anal sex in a job interview.

Weather Forecast for Saturday, October 2

Sunny, clear, cool with a high probability of gorgeous!   (Thanks Capital Weather Gang)
Woohoo!  Fall is here.

I [HEART] maps; I [HEART] Philadelphia.

Graphic designer, Joel Katz, of the amazing city of Philadelphia has created a redesign of the map for city's regional public transit system.  While it is apparently geographically inaccurate - hmmm, seems sort of counterintuitive for a map, no? - it is apparently user-friendly and clearly lays out the order of stations, an important function of a transit map.

Personally, I find the map striking in its design - bold, simple, artistic - to be praised for its form, as well as its function.  The soft curves of each line is not a usual feature of a transit map - a lovely distinctive feature.  One really gets a sense of systems - public transit systems, flowcharts, bodily systems.  It reminds me of a  modern family tree, a scale, a collection of vases and urns.  I like the way the important stuff - Center City, the major subway and elevated lines are bolder and more distinct than the secondary lines to suburbs.  I like the way Philly's two rivers - the Delaware and the Schuykill - are displayed as washes of light blue ribbons.

Born a city-child, I began taking the subway to my public school in seventh grade (Lombard to Spring Garden stations) through high school (Lombard to Olney stations) on the Broad Street line.  I think I turned out OK.

From my sub-conscious

I had an erotic dream about one of my colleagues last night.

M is beardless and on the shorter-than-average side - so not my natural "type."  Nonetheless,  I find his dorkiness charming, his humor sharp, and his intellect impressive - indeed, qualities that are part-and-parcel of my natural type. In real life, I enjoy our rapport and all his endearing qualities have led to a closeness and chemistry between us (the boundaries of work and his marriage are fully respected!), and which occasionally leads to some involuntary fantasizing (on my part, at least) during management meetings.  We have been working particularly closely together recently, including a nice business dinner the other evening with a third party with delicious food and wine, and delightful conversation.   And last night, the whole thing played out in my sub-conscious...

"It Gets Better"...Bullying, hate, privacy, the Internet and hope in the 21st Century

I am utterly sickened by the news that a 18yo, freshman college student and musician, Tyler Clementi, took his own life by jumping off the George Washington bridge after his idiot roommate webcammed and webcast his intimate encounters with another man.  It seems that roommate, Dharun Ravi, and another classmate, Molly Wei, got their kicks from capturing, streaming, and broadcasting Clementi's personal, private, sexual life without permission.  And Clementi, ultimately decided that the mortification was too much too handle, and well, jumped...

Ravi and Wei's thoughtless act clearly illustrates blatant bullying, extreme homophobia, and a tremendous violation of privacy rights.  Many want to prosecute their act as a hate crime - and while I realize this is likely a strong interpretation of the laws - I can't help but believe their utter disregard for another being's dignity led to his suicide.  And yes, they should be fully prosecuted, punished, and suffer long and hard for their heinous behaviors. Some say they are young, and naive...but at what time, if ever, are young people accountable for basic respect and civility of other human beings?  They are of age, after all.

I suppose I'm equally troubled by the technology of webcam's remote surveillance and  the World. Wide.Web. streaming that allows this to happen so easily; the erosion of privacy in today's society (I, too have given over my privacy in this social networked world; though I have profound respect for the right to privacy, and the critical ability of one to have agency over one's own privacy); and the magnitude of web posting in perpetuity.  This is the profoundly evil side of of the advancements of social networks and digital technology.

Ironically, this suicide happened on the second day of Rutgers University campaign "Project Civility" which would "involve panel discussions, lectures, workshops and other events to raise awareness about the importance of respect, compassion and courtesy in everyday interactions.  Events scheduled for this fall include a workshop for students and administrators on residential life on campus and a panel discussion titled 'Uncivil Gadgets? Changing Technologies and Civil Behavior.'"

Sadly, this bigoted, technology-enabled behavior is not limited to young college students.  It is also  an affliction of our public servants.

Michelle Rhee - Rant and Rave (my 25 cents)

Alas, my mayoral candidate, Adrain Fenty, did not win the primary last week, so it is looking more and more likely that his hand-picked, school reform champion and My Hero, Michelle Rhee, will not remain the Chancellor of the District of Columbia Public Schools.  At least that what it looks like here after Rhee and likely mayor-elect Vince Gray met yesterday. (Photo cribbed from the Internet)

As a mom to a child in the DC public schools, I'm pretty discouraged.  Rhee has been a reformer in the true sense of the word, bringing in sweeping and widespread change.  And while I'm usually not much of a radical - I believe that change is generally incremental and requires process - when the situation is as dire as it was when she arrived on the scene, there is no other choice in the matter than to be monomaniacal (City Paper's word - but I love it - check out their other endorsements for the primary, a total hoot!). Seriously, DCPS was an utterly failing system - poor performance, ineffective teachers, crumbling infrastructure, and a systems failure on everything from the timely delivery of textbooks to the opening of schools on time.  And yet somehow, in America, in Washington, DC (our Nation's Capital) that had become good enough.  Good enough for public school, good enough for urban schools, good enough for poor people, good enough for blacks.  Sorry, but that status quo is just plain unacceptable.  

Rhee didn't have the time nor the charge to fix things with finesse and pretty dancing - she needed to make tough, hardcore decisions - and frankly she had results to show for it.  Enrollment stabilized and went up for the first time in years.  Test performance improved.  Infrastructure improvement and schools modernization was plain staggering.  And she took a stand against ineffective teachers - she fired them!  hundreds of them! at a time!  Ouch, ok, that's harsh, and hard, and it did not win her many fans...except people like me who sort of sat there stunned, thinking, "Wow, she's brave...and I'm scared shitless of her."