At the first try, just over two years married, things had been really difficult between us for a long, long time. I was very pregnant (happily and intentionally) and desperate, and I begged DxH to go with me to counseling. I knew we were in trouble, and knew having a child - any day now! - would change things forever, and likely add to our stress and tensions. He reluctantly agreed, but we could not set up the first appointment until a few days past my due date. It was a pretty good session, though we knew we wouldn't be able to go back again soon thereafter with our impending parenthood. I went into labor about an hour after that very first marriage counseling session. Later, I remember thinking Dear Daughter was smart enough not to come out until it was safe to do so. I also remember thinking, "You know your marriage is in trouble when ______________." We made it another two years...barely.
In another pass, a year or so later, we drove out to Bethesda somewhere, and sat across from each other in two armchairs, hands on laps, facing each other. This counselor encouraged us to talk to each other with her prompted questions. It felt like reading from a script, and we were two really bad actors. It didn't help.
The last time, right before/right after we separated (now 4 years ago), we tried a last ditch attempt to salvage things. This time, DxH and I had such a ridiculously awful counselor, we went out for a Thai lunch afterward just so we could make fun of her whack sh*t! The brief bonding alone probably made the session worth it. Alas, it was way too late, though - sadly - I think we were actually doomed from the beginning.
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