"It Gets Better"...Bullying, hate, privacy, the Internet and hope in the 21st Century

I am utterly sickened by the news that a 18yo, freshman college student and musician, Tyler Clementi, took his own life by jumping off the George Washington bridge after his idiot roommate webcammed and webcast his intimate encounters with another man.  It seems that roommate, Dharun Ravi, and another classmate, Molly Wei, got their kicks from capturing, streaming, and broadcasting Clementi's personal, private, sexual life without permission.  And Clementi, ultimately decided that the mortification was too much too handle, and well, jumped...

Ravi and Wei's thoughtless act clearly illustrates blatant bullying, extreme homophobia, and a tremendous violation of privacy rights.  Many want to prosecute their act as a hate crime - and while I realize this is likely a strong interpretation of the laws - I can't help but believe their utter disregard for another being's dignity led to his suicide.  And yes, they should be fully prosecuted, punished, and suffer long and hard for their heinous behaviors. Some say they are young, and naive...but at what time, if ever, are young people accountable for basic respect and civility of other human beings?  They are of age, after all.

I suppose I'm equally troubled by the technology of webcam's remote surveillance and  the World. Wide.Web. streaming that allows this to happen so easily; the erosion of privacy in today's society (I, too have given over my privacy in this social networked world; though I have profound respect for the right to privacy, and the critical ability of one to have agency over one's own privacy); and the magnitude of web posting in perpetuity.  This is the profoundly evil side of of the advancements of social networks and digital technology.

Ironically, this suicide happened on the second day of Rutgers University campaign "Project Civility" which would "involve panel discussions, lectures, workshops and other events to raise awareness about the importance of respect, compassion and courtesy in everyday interactions.  Events scheduled for this fall include a workshop for students and administrators on residential life on campus and a panel discussion titled 'Uncivil Gadgets? Changing Technologies and Civil Behavior.'"

Sadly, this bigoted, technology-enabled behavior is not limited to young college students.  It is also  an affliction of our public servants.
The Assistant Attorney General of Michigan, Andrew Shirvell is tormenting, cyber-bullying, and stalking the first openly gay student body president at the University of Michigan, Chris Armstrong.  The AAG's personal website creation, "Chris Armstrong Watch," includes Armstrong photoshopped rainbow flags with swastikas (PhotoShop - another horrific abuse of advancements in digital technology).  What hate. What intolerance.  What fear.  What poor judgment.  And while, I'm disheartened, it does look likely that justice will be served - Shirvell's public life and current employment days are likely numbered.

But there is hope, and I am nothing if not for hope.  Dan Savage - sex advice columnist, activist, irreverent smarty-pants, and My Hero launched his "It Gets Better"channel last week on YouTube, where adult LGBTQ share their personal stories of bullying and taunting, and provide hope for gay teens in isolation that it will get better.  There is life beyond high school, adolescence, and idiotic peers.  A life of accepting communities, big cities, freedom of expression, finding love, living well - if they can just power through an exceptionally difficult phase.  The "It Gets Better" project was inspired by a gay teen suicide in Indiana  spurred by endless taunts by his peers, just a few weeks before Clementi's suicide.

And Ellen DeGeneres, the popular mainstream talkshow host has produced a special video message on the recent epidemic of gay teen suicides following the outing,, bullying, and cyberstalking that expresses her outrage and provides supportive resources.   

I'm tremendously disturbed by the hate that exists in this world, and close to home in New Brunswick and Ann Arbor, but I will forever stand on the side of love....also inspired by the recent beautiful and  touching, legal (!) same-sex wedding I attended earlier this week here in DC, Our Nation's Capital.  Long live Savage, DeGeneres, and Armstrong!   Rest in peace, dear Clementi -  may your senseless death, and the suicides of your peers, not have been in vain.