Monday, January 17, 2011

Drying out - Day 17; 14 to go

The insights on not drinking remain small - not nearly as profound as I had imagined.

I continue to be tempted - really tempted - in certain situations with certain triggers. Like the time I went out for a really nice work dinner at Darlington House - the lovely Victorian rowhouse, our table next to the fireplace, and thoughtful fine food demanded a glass of fine wine; but also the long day at work that was continuing with this networking dinner meant I had to be 'ON' after 6pm, and would have been nicely smoothed out by a glass of vino.  Or the time I hung out with sis and family starting in the afternoon through easy supper, and wanted a cool beer to add to the casual family day, football in the background.  But once again, each time was pretty easily managed.

I feel clearer and more free - like my head is unclouded.  But there is no way, I drink near enough or often enough to be going through my regular life in an alcohol-induced fog, so I'm not sure I can attribute this clarity to not drinking.

Nonetheless, it does feel like my life is simpler - and that also means nicer - without alcohol...and without dating. And that scares and saddens me because I hope one day to have the pleasure of both a glass of good wine and a good man back in my life.

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