Drying out - Day 4; 27 to go

I like to drink.  Especially wine, especially red.  I also like margaritas with Mexican food.  A cold gin & tonic on a summer day.  A beer with junk food and sporting events.   I drink regularly - almost, but not always - every day. I drink from 2 to too many drinks.  I drink to complement and savor a good meal.  I drink to chill out, to take the edge off a hard day, to de-stress and unwind.  I drink as a social activity.  Sometimes, but not often, I drink too much.  A few times last year - 2 or 3 specific times that I recall - I drank more than I should have, when I knew better, and when I had some regrets.

I'm abstaining from alcohol this month.   I have reasons - various and sundry - for not drinking.

1.  I feel "puffy."  Water retention, that may or may not be related to alcohol, is beginning to bother me.  I'm curious if I will de-puff when I lay off alcohol for a bit.
2.  I feel like crap - tired, run down and fighting a nagging chronic cough.  Alcohol, and other vices and excess are not what I need.
3.  It's time to cleanse and detox.  After a month of holiday indulgence - wine, food, spending - I want to practice some self-discpline and cleaner living.
4.  I want to jump-start the next 5.  Over the last few months, the pounds crept on.  A function of several things - lots of fun, lots of stress, a metabolism that screeched to a halt at 40, a little break in the groove of my swimming routine.  But later in the year, I caught on to the stealth creep.  I have reversed the trend, even losing 3-4 pounds over the holidays.  Losing the empty calories in alcohol will hopefully help jumpstart the next Minus-5.
5.  I'm curious how I will feel experiencing life stone sober.  True, the vast majority of my life is stone sober, but what will a dinner party feel like (Actually, I didn't drink NYE over our five course dinner, except the glass of champagne with dessert.  It felt fine - a little boring but fine.)  What will Happy Hour feel like at Oyamel on Thursday when I don't/can't have one of their delicious margaritas?  Will it be difficult to be at a bar and NOT drink?  Will I be tempted?  Will I be VERY tempted?  Will I cave?  Will a bar be louder and more obnoxious when I'm not drinking?  Will I have a good time?
6. Can I do it?  I'm curious whether I can go a month without drinking - and somewhat scared that I can't.  Self-discipline is hardly my strength.  I hate regimens and rules.  I cave on my resolve on all sorts of piddly things for piddly reasons.
7.  And if I do cave,  is it my lack of self-discipline (my chronic lifelong trait) or actually evidence of a drinking problem.  I don't think so, but is that just denial and self-delusion?  You know that "i-can-stop -anytime-I-want-to-I-just-don't-want-to."  Well, the next month is my little test of those systems.  I didn't drink for months when I was pregnant.  More recently, I've gone days, but I don't think a full week, without a drink.  I'm never interested in drinking before evening - a daytime drink makes me tired and sick.  I sometimes don't finish a whole drink when I drink in the day.  So this is the time to put the "I'm pretty sure I don't have a drinking problem" to the test. What is my relationship to alcohol anyway?  
8. I'm curious to observe this as an anthropologist while I'm not drinking.  Do I crave it?  When?  What are my temptation points?  Do I need it or do I enjoy it?  Can I resist it?  I hope to get better insight to my relationship with alcohol in its absence.

It's the end of Day 4.  So far, so good.  On Sunday, as I sat down to a nice salmon dinner, I looked at the wine bottle on the counter, and thought it would be nice with the piece of fish, but I overcame that pretty quickly.  Today, I had a stressful day at work, and I thought, "Now I'll go home, and NOT have a glass of wine."  It would have tasted good, and felt good, too, but the moment passed.  I've made some plans for dinners and drinks over the next few weeks.

I'll report back of some of the other outcomes on issues 1-to-8 over the next month.  Until then, Cheers!